FortunateOne Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Its always been strange to me how I go for guys I KNOW are unsuitable, but im always attracted to that 'bad boy' persona. I dont get it, the mystery adn the drama seems attractive. Until you get your heartbroken which happened to me. Now im with a nice guy and hes perfect, but sometimes I get annoyed at him being so nice and touchy feely and miss the excitement of the bad boy. But I'd never give him up for it. I just think I'm not used to it. I think loads of women go through the bad boy stage, where they go out with the unsuitable guy and then realise 'Hey nice, normal, balanced guys arent so bad' What do you guys think...any personal experiences? Also I know bad guy and good guy isnt quite as black and white as that lol. You seem to have missed a real man category since "bad boys" are jerks and "nice guys" are manipulators. Real men have the confidence to not play the bad boy game of bullying people to do what they want or the nice guy guilt game to manipulate people by acting as doormats and becoming passive aggressive. Women that love to chase these types of men really have maturity issues and are not emotionally healthy enough to understand what it takes to have a healthy relationship; yet, if they do understand then they are into it for the thrill of controlling these men to do or get what they want. This issue really is about playing with fire for some of these women that claim to like bad boys and try to post justify their actions by turning a serious issue into a light hearted matter. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Maybe your right. A real man would be the best of both worlds! Link to comment
Raistlin Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Hmmm. But that's precisely what some people (men and women) seem to thrive on in their relationships. Tension = excitement. Drama = passion. I love the quote that "nice guys aren't so bad". Ugh. Talk about a slap in the face to any man who treats her woman with dignity and respect IMHO. I guess we are not too bad? Not quite chopped liver, but... That's exactly how I feel about that saying. I'm sorry that from a young age, I was taught to treat women with respect, and never had to go through a "bad boy" stage. I can be an A hole, but that only comes when you push my limits. I treat all women with respect, and I admire the ones that realize early on that being treated badly DOES NOT = excitement or passion. It just means they're being treated badly. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 I like the total good guy. I used to say that before, yet somehow I always was attracted to the troubled guy and ended up with the mislead ones and I wanted to "fix" them. My boyfriend now is the best of the good guys. No joke, he's a total saint! Even more pure then I am, and thats DAMN hard to do lol. Yes theres the fixing thing. you want to be the one to sort out the issues that makes them a bad boy. Never works! Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 That's exactly how I feel about that saying. I'm sorry that from a young age, I was taught to treat women with respect, and never had to go through a "bad boy" stage. I can be an A hole, but that only comes when you push my limits. I treat all women with respect, and I admire the ones that realize early on that being treated badly DOES NOT = excitement or passion. It just means they're being treated badly. Yeah expect to be treated badly by a bad boy. Its fun until you REALLY get hurt. then its like...why did I do that to myself. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 My boyfriend may be a TOTAL good guy, but he isn't a pushover. He stands his ground and is pleanty masculine. Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Maybe your right. A real man would be the best of both worlds! that's why i try to be, like every nice thing i do , i respond with a horrible thing, i.e once i bought someone flowers, then i tripped her over. she got all the niceness but also got the uncertainty and spontainous stuff u get from bad guys. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Thats what I like, sometimes I wonder if my boyfriend can be bit too much of a pushover which isnt attractive. I definatley like masculine as well!!! Bad boys are usually totally masculine which is attractive too. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 that's why i try to be, like every nice thing i do , i respond with a horrible thing, i.e once i bought someone flowers, then i tripped her over. she got all the niceness but also got the uncertainty and spontainous stuff u get from bad guys. Seriousy? That sounnds like the film 'just married' lol!!! Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Seriousy? That sounnds like the film 'just married' lol!!! no i was joking lol ty tho gonna check the film out Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 no i was joking lol ty tho gonna check the film out Lmao its very funny, its quite old now, with Ashton thingy lol. Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 basically, i try to be myself, but most importantly im happy with myself, i don't need to work my A*se off for someone elses affection, and i don't care if everyone in the world doesn't like me. i am what i am. same point tho that doesn't mean im not considerate to other peoples feelings, im pretty caring, i dont cheat and im honest. and that's what i try to be, coz to me that's what a real guy should be like. sometimes things do get thought and i feel like being a £"$%"£$% lol, but i dont, coz im not gonna change for anything. i dont really get this this nice guy ;bad guy comments, coz to me , a nice guy is a sleeze who is only after your affection for his own insecuritys, and a bad is a an act and fake person. thats my final 2 cents im off now, but have fun all Link to comment
jenm Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 When I think of "bad boy", I don't really think of rebelliousness or a-hole-ness or anything. That's just lameness. I think a real bad boy, the kind that totally gets under your skin, is the guy who really understands women, really loves women and is completely confident and comfortable in his own skin. He treats women like people, and he expresses his own vulnerabilities, but he also knows exactly how attractive he is and how to get what he wants. And because he's so confident and attractive and in tune w/ women, he *knows* he can seduce pretty much who he wants, so he has no real incentive to concentrate on anyone in particular, or to feel gratitude or relief when someone expresses interest in him. And at the end of the day, even if you get hurt, you can't really point any fingers because he didn't *actually* do anything wrong, and he's really sort of great (smart, kind, hilarious, etc.), and for some reason you still have affection for him, even though he drives you crazy. That pretty much sums up every guy who's ever driven me nuts. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I like bad boys only when they are rough to everyone else but treat me right. Also, when it comes to physical stuff, I like more aggressive guys. So, that is more attractive because "bad boys" tend to be more dominating. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Its always been strange to me how I go for guys I KNOW are unsuitable, but im always attracted to that 'bad boy' persona. I dont get it, the mystery adn the drama seems attractive. Until you get your heartbroken which happened to me. Now im with a nice guy and hes perfect, but sometimes I get annoyed at him being so nice and touchy feely and miss the excitement of the bad boy. But I'd never give him up for it. I just think I'm not used to it. I think loads of women go through the bad boy stage, where they go out with the unsuitable guy and then realise 'Hey nice, normal, balanced guys arent so bad' What do you guys think...any personal experiences? Also I know bad guy and good guy isnt quite as black and white as that lol. Is is very sad that women choose to be with one bad guy after another and finally choose a nice guy because of no other go. It is truly sad. I would want a woman to choose me because she wants me. Not because she can no longer be with a bad guy. I would be curious to see how women would feel when the same treatment is meted out to them. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I don't like a man who is dominating, I like them very sweet and sensitive, like my boyfriend is. But it bothers me at times when he is like that to EVERYONE. Like he can't be mean to people. I can be a * * * * * when I need to be. But recently, he's been getting better about things. During sex I tell him I want him to "Take Charge" Push me around playfully, pin me to the bed etc. And he's gotten really good at that now=) Expec since we usualy have sex one weekend and as much as we want on holidays. Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Is is very sad that women choose to be with one bad guy after another and finally choose a nice guy because of no other go. It is truly sad. I would want a woman to choose me because she wants me. Not because she can no longer be with a bad guy. I would be curious to see how women would feel when the same treatment is meted out to them. to be honest they do, but in more harsh terms. women are far more subject to being used as practice, a notch on the bed post, a 1 night stand coz the guy thought she was hot, list goes on , and when were finally bored of doing all that , we decide to settle down and get some maturity. maybe not you, but alot of men ( and im guilty in some aspects ) do. so to say that we got it bad is such an under-exaggeration lol p.s. im definatly going to bed now lol, c ya'll again xx Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I don't like a man who is dominating, I like them very sweet and sensitive, like my boyfriend is. But it bothers me at times when he is like that to EVERYONE. Like he can't be mean to people. I can be a * * * * * when I need to be. But recently, he's been getting better about things. During sex I tell him I want him to "Take Charge" Push me around playfully, pin me to the bed etc. And he's gotten really good at that now=) Expec since we usualy have sex one weekend and as much as we want on holidays. you seem to be a very nice girl.... i don't know about girls wanting bad people as their boyfriends... but as a guy i would die to be with a nice and sweet girl. i can't stand a bad girl.. yikes... Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I can't stand bad girls either. I think my friend is def one of those Shes 18, has slept with over 30 men including 3-somes, slept with a guy who she KNEW had a gf and even had the audacity to hang out with them both together and say she really likes the girlfriend. Dated a guy once who had a kid JUST because he had a hello kitty tattoo, and she loves hello kitty. Would you consider that one? I try to be good. I mean I have no need to drink alcohol (I hate drinking) I only may have a margarita or something with my family around 4th of July or X-mas. I've never been drunk before. I don't really enjoy going to parties, a friend get together is different though. But my boyfriend and I are the same. Although he doesnt even like drinking alcohol with family a few times a year, he hates the taste. But neither of us like to go to parties where there is bad things going on. We've never touched drugs, and neither of us give out our numbers to the opposite sex. It's not that he's saying "Your not allowed to do that or hang out with guys" the point is, we dont want to. It's a personal preference. It makes me feel uneasy to hang out with guys or have them text me all the time. Unless it's like a group thing, then it's okay. But seriously, I respect my boyfriend and am very loyal I would feel weird doing that. The only time I am ever alone with a guy other then him is if I need a ride from school and nobody else can take me, since I don't have a car. And even that makes me feel a little weird. I'm very sensitive and loyal. And so is he. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 she is only and has already slept with 30 men wow... she sure is something a girl like you is a rare and unique case i guess.... you obviously have high standards Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Lol really? Yeah I do have high standards. I use to not, obviously from some of the guys I dated but after my ex my standards went WAAY up. The guy was 23, didn't have a car, had never held a job in his life. I dont have a car either, but that is a different circumstance, and I have a job. But he dealt drugs, went to raves all the time (I did at that point to, but it was just to dance and talk to people and he used it to deal) He used to be addicted to heroin and when we dated he did just about every other but that. He lived with his 33 yr old roomate who paid for everything, and this guy was a gay make-up artist who did make up and hair for strippers. My ex hung out with girls all the time and talked to all of his exes (and from what I heard from my friend, it was more then friendly) He was NEVER sober. Luckily that only lasted 2 months! Yeah after that, you have to step up your standards. I have never been with, or met a guy like my boyfriend. I always thought men like him were out of my reach so I had to settle for less. Now I know he will forever be mine=) Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Nothing wrong with high standards. I wish I hadnt been with any bad boys sometimes, then I think, if i hadnt, i wouldnt know how to appreciate a well rounded guy. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Yeah that's very true. even with my experience, we went on a 5 day break during the summer because I kept pushing. He was being so nice and spending so much money, and I didn't realize it because he didn't put a limit or say he couldn't do it anymore, so I kept pushing and pushing until enough was enough, and I realized that what I had done was totaly wrong. I was also on this crazy hormone shot which made me bi-polar. So thankfully I'm not on that anymore! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 My first bf was a real big bad boy. However, I'm glad I went out with him. He taught me a lot. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 All I had dated before my boyfriend was bad guys, losers, and misguided ones lol. Link to comment
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