Cognitive_Canine Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Come to think about it, my current bf is kind of a bad boy, but in a good way...if that makes sense. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 it would help if you women that love bad people explain specifically what you mean by "mystery and drama"? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 it would help if you women that love bad people explain specifically what you mean by "mystery and drama"? Okay, let me explain my bf and what I like about him that I consider to be bad (but in a good way). He takes charge. He's not afraid of a challenge nor a fight. He's deathly loyal to his friends and me and have gotten into fist fights protecting me and them. He's not afraid to flip you off if you step out of line with him. He says what's on his mind, even if it's not what you want to hear. And, he intimidates the hell out of any one his younger sister (16) dates. But, with all this, he's a complete golden boy as well. He has solid morals and rules that he follows. He treats everyone with respect until they give him a reason not to. He's very intelligent. And, his toughness goes up when he's protecting someone else. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I used to like that. But not now. I can't stand mystery, or drama lol. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Okay, let me explain my bf and what I like about him that I consider to be bad (but in a good way). He takes charge. He's not afraid of a challenge nor a fight. He's deathly loyal to his friends and me and have gotten into fist fights protecting me and them. He's not afraid to flip you off if you step out of line with him. He says what's on his mind, even if it's not what you want to hear. ok.. what is so bad about it for you women to call these type of guys as bad boys? and where is the mystery and drama in all this? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 ok.. what is so bad about it for you women to call these type of guys as bad boys? and where is the mystery and drama in all this? It's because the definiton of bad boys differ depending on who you are talking to. I don't like drama, but I like mystery. My bf was a hard shell to crack. I'm the only one he's ever really opened up to. And damn, it took me a long time to get there. EDIT: Ghost had a thread about the definition of a bad boy. To me, a bad boy is someone who stands his ground, tends to go against the norm, but doesn't have to be a jerk to do so. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 It's because the definiton of bad boys differ depending on who you are talking to. I don't like drama, but I like mystery. My bf was a hard shell to crack. I'm the only one he's ever really opened up to. And damn, it took me a long time to get there. EDIT: Ghost had a thread about the definition of a bad boy. To me, a bad boy is someone who stands his ground, tends to go against the norm, but doesn't have to be a jerk to do so. sorry to say this but i do not find any mystery in this bad boy mystery lol Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I dated one of those mysterious, hard nuts to crack, long term in my 20s. I was sooo proud to be able to get through, that he fell in love with me, wanted to marry me. Years later I found out why he was so reserved, so distant/unavailable. He was in denial about his sexuality and was fighting that he was gay. I saw no signs of this when we dated and he behaved in a very masculine way (not to say gay men are not masculine, just saying there were none of those stereotypical effeminate traits and we had a very active relationship so to speak). I am not saying that this is typical - it probably isn't - but it did make me think twice as to whether "reserved" and "tough nut to crack" is a good challenge or the sign of a problem. Another guy who was like that ended up having a rather severe psychological disorder which I learned about after a few months of dating. I am not interested in being close friends with or being involved with pushover types - I don't think they're nice people in any event. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 i still don't understand about this whole "he is so mysterious" thing... does he go and hide himself in some cave and asks you to find him? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 i still don't understand about this whole "he is so mysterious" thing... does he go and hide himself in some cave and asks you to find him? You don't know what's on his mind much of the time and he doesn't readily share. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 i still don't understand about this whole "he is so mysterious" thing... does he go and hide himself in some cave and asks you to find him? He's just different. Doesn't really follow the norm. Seems to have his own set of rules and that's what is intriguing about him. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 You don't know what's on his mind much of the time and he doesn't readily share. won't that irritate you? i don't understand how that can be seen as an attractive factor? if i date a girl and if she doesn't tell me what's in her mind or share it with me i will dump her soon. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 No, it doesn't irritate me at all. It lets me know when they do open up that they obviously take me seriously and have developed trust for me. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 No, it doesn't irritate me at all. It lets me know when they do open up that they obviously take me seriously and have developed trust for me. hmm.... ok... whatever.... i personally won't date a person that does not talk to me.... Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 hmm.... ok... whatever.... i personally won't date a person that does not talk to me.... Oh, we talked just fine in the beginning. But, it took time to start talking about deeper stuff. As time went on, we talked about deeper and deeper stuff. now we are completely open with each other. Link to comment
melrich Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Personally, I think this whole "bad boy" thing is a complete misnomer. Debaser, what you describe is to me the classic "strong, silent type".....another type being bandied around is the equally classic "dark and mysterious" I just don't get how "bad boy" has evolved to become some guy who knows his own mind and has a tatt (or in other words, about 60% of the young male population)? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 ^^^ You're probably right about that, Melrich. I think the "strong, silent type" describes him better. I always connected Bad boy with "rebel without a cause" I guess... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 won't that irritate you? i don't understand how that can be seen as an attractive factor? if i date a girl and if she doesn't tell me what's in her mind or share it with me i will dump her soon. I never said that I found it attractive at this time. I used to find it a challenge and feel special if he chose to open up to me. Link to comment
melrich Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 I always connected Bad boy I have always connected it with as someone who will or is likely to lead you in to trouble. To me there has to be an element of lawlessness, it is not about a look or just someone who knows their own mind and does not suffer fools......that to me is more about confidence, nothing to do with "bad boy" Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 22, 2008 Author Share Posted October 22, 2008 I have always connected it with as someone who will or is likely to lead you in to trouble. To me there has to be an element of lawlessness, it is not about a look or just someone who knows their own mind and does not suffer fools......that to me is more about confidence, nothing to do with "bad boy" For me its always been the guy that leads me into trouble or heartbreak. No good things come out of it. Bad boys generally dont open up to you though, or if they do its a pack of lies. The mysterious element is because they dont open up, its always a guessing game and a chase with them. I wouldnt do it again after my few experiences. Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Oh, we talked just fine in the beginning. But, it took time to start talking about deeper stuff. As time went on, we talked about deeper and deeper stuff. now we are completely open with each other. when you say deeper and deeper what specifically do you mean? not to belabor the point but plz provide at least one specific example... Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 when you say deeper and deeper what specifically do you mean? not to belabor the point but plz provide at least one specific example... Such as. At first in the relationship we'd talk just to get to know each other. Then we'd start talking about more emotional topics (exes, fears, future) It took a long time but we went very slowly in how fast we got to the very emotional stuff. He comes accross as a very confident, fun-loving, and secure guy. However, it took a long time before I really found out how insecure he actually is. Link to comment
dont_know_what_2_say Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 thers a difference between nice guy and a push over. i think nice guy is my choice not the overly sensitive, all over me, what-do-you-want-i'll-do-it, let-me-kiss-your-feet- guy. or the jerk Link to comment
Odysseus Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Such as. At first in the relationship we'd talk just to get to know each other. Then we'd start talking about more emotional topics (exes, fears, future) It took a long time but we went very slowly in how fast we got to the very emotional stuff. He comes accross as a very confident, fun-loving, and secure guy. However, it took a long time before I really found out how insecure he actually is. So...it was the vulnerability inside the bad boy that was the turn on? Link to comment
grymoire Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Such as. At first in the relationship we'd talk just to get to know each other. Then we'd start talking about more emotional topics (exes, fears, future) It took a long time but we went very slowly in how fast we got to the very emotional stuff. He comes accross as a very confident, fun-loving, and secure guy. However, it took a long time before I really found out how insecure he actually is. oh ok.. thanks debaser_wolf Link to comment
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