Three Some

[kamurj]

My husband and I have been married for over 15 years. Our relationship is loving and our sex life is unbelievable. We experiment and fantasize. The fantasy that my husband has (which I think every male has had) is a three way. Recently, while on business, he made a friend and has been corresponding with her. They like each other and have shared feelings through e-mail. I learned about their feelings by accident, we argued then I came to the realization that their conversations about work, culture and sharing each others everyday life makes them both happy. She lives in another country. I have seen pictures of this woman, she is attractive and is very attracted to my husband. He describes her as very similar to myself and hopes we can become friends should we ever meet. I started to think about a 3 way and have openly talked to my husband about it. He has no plans on leaving his family and has made it clear that there is no commitment to her and that he would never leave us nor is he looking. This is just something that makes him happy that another woman finds him attractive and she is very open about her feelings for him. He would like to see this happen but does not want to push it. I wonder:

 

- what happens to a marriage after - are you always second guessing

- I want to explore having sex with another woman and think it would excite me to see her getting both my husband and I excited

- is it a benefit to have her from another culture

- is the experience worth it

 

I would appreciate any other happily married woman who have been through this to help me with my decision and share what they have been through. Whether you would do it again or was it too much to handle.

 

Please help - "Restless with questions"

[kamurj]

For all of you 91 people that have read my question and since none of you have replied, I will change my request from any other happily married woman to anyone with a suggestion - I will keep checking for answer. Thanks.

[jimthzz]

if you are in a three-way sexual relationship, are you ok with the idea that you might be called upon to touch another woman intimately and be touched intimately by another woman?

 

Could you really trade off sucking on your husband's cock with another woman?

 

How would you react to seeing his pleasure at all this attention?

 

I'm serious.

[kamurj]

Dear Jimthzz:

 

Yes, even though I have never experienced a three way, I would like to try it. I have fantasized about having this sexual encounter with this other woman - it was my idea. I would like to explore her body and feel what it is like. We have discussed certain bounderies that the other woman and my husband can share, but to answer you question, I have said to my husband, I would like to see her sucking on his dick.

 

I think this is a one time opportunity to experience his fantasy and hopefully all of us enjoy it with no regrets.

 

Restless.

[kamurj]

Dear Restless,

 

I just posted this in another forum but it applies to you as well:

 

If you are thinking about a threesome the first step is to talk to your husband. Then talk, talk, talk some more. Discuss your fantasies, your feelings and your fears. Work out every possible sceneario, and how you think you might react. Then work on the rules.

 

The rules may change over time, but they should not change before the end of the night. Make sure that the end goal for both of you is to be a happy, contented couple the next morning. If you decided together that you were only go so far, don't change your mind. You can always go further on another day.

 

A good first step would be to look for a local swingers club. These are usually just places for couples thinking about playing with other couples to meet. The rule in the clubs is usually no means no, and everyone respects that.

 

We've had lots of fun at swingers dances because you can touch your partner wherever you want, and we get a thrill knowing others are watching us and veing turned on. But we always go home alone. (we did meet someone from a dance once... but that's another story)

 

 

What happens if you try it, and you want to continue to see this woman?

What happens if your husband wants to continue to see this woman?

What happens if ...

 

You need to talk to your husband, talk, talk talk... before you try anything.

 

- what happens to a marriage after - are you always second guessing

 

Second guessing what? If the relationship is solid and you have talked yourselves to death, you should know his every fantasy, and that he loves you and is thrilled you are helping him to fulfill this fantasy. Everytime you see that dreamy look in his eye, you shouldn't be worried that he is thinking of someone else, but secure in the knowledge that he has the best woman on earth!

 

 

- I want to explore having sex with another woman and think it would excite me to see her getting both my husband and I excited

 

Okay.... sounds good... are you sure SHE wants to explore sex with another woman? My wife is not Bi, but she has had an experience with another woman. It was mostly acting, but let me tell you, I thank her for her performance every night!

 

- is it a benefit to have her from another culture

 

Benefiting who? You? Because what, her skin is a different color? So that your man can tell you both apart? If you are worried about that, it's time for more talking! What happens if that is a turn-on for him, and he decides once you go black...

 

- is the experience worth it

 

Is it worth ruining your marriage? No, nothing is worth that. But if you are doing this together, as a couple and have talked to each other, it can bring you closer.

 

It is something my wife and I have done together that no one knows about. Our little sexy secret. It is one more reason to watch your weight and look after yourself, you never know who may see you naked!

 

When I think of those nights I think of the things we did together, and fantasize about the touching and the caressing. For us we have decided that intercourse just raises too many issues and problems. We focus on having a nice time, and being happy the next day.

 

*** Downer Alert ***

 

Re-reading your post does give me some doubts:

 

"Recently, while on business, he made a friend and has been corresponding with her. They like each other and have shared feelings through e-mail. I learned about their feelings by accident, we argued then I came to the realization that their conversations about work, culture and sharing each others everyday life makes them both happy. She lives in another country. I have seen pictures of this woman, she is attractive and is very attracted to my husband. "

 

Basically he started a relationship while away from home, secretly continuing this relationship behind your back. This is not the basis of something you do together. Hopefully you two have discussed his long distance relationship at length.

 

I don't mean to piss on your parade, but I can't stress how big a role communication plays. Keep talking.

 

Hopefully this answer makes up for the missing 91! Good luck.

[missabe]

I was involved with two women - very different in personalities, jobs, and outlooks on the subject - when we finally all agreed to try a threesome. From all of our points of view, the experience was phenomenal. The women enjoyed me, I enjoyed them, but most importantly, they enjoyed each other immensely.

 

We've all gone our different ways - living in the four corners of the country, but I still recall fondly the experience and WOULD LOVE TO experience the situation once more.

[Barbara1607306436]

I know what you mean. My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years and the same subject came up. We both have the same fantasies, but after long talks and what boundaries we would respect....we did it.

 

We invited her (Beth) out to dinner a few times and I even spent some time alone with her shopping etc. We finally got close enough to talk about my husband and she was very open to a 3 way. About 2 weeks later we invited her to our house for dinner and the 3 way. After about 3 bottles of wine I suggested we play cards and then I suggested truth or dare.

We started off with innocent questions and then we got more daring. The more daring the more the clothes came off and then the kissing began. I dared Beth to (censored) my husbands dick in front of me. As she was doing it, I was so turned on I started touching myself all over. Then Beth dared me to kiss her and we made out for about 3 minutes, touching and caressing each other. Then my husband dared Beth and I to (censored) his dick. We both went down on him and kissed each other while we took care of him to completion (gulp). After we finished my husband off Beth and I started to kiss and we ended up going down on each other. It was one of the best orgasms I have ever had!

 

Needless to say, my husband got so turned on and hard watching us go at that we ended up making love for about 15 minutes in front of Beth. After we were done, my husband and Beth ended up 69 in front of me. I watched them and played with myself. Needless to say, I allowed my husband to (censor) her in front of me.

 

We all got carried away in the moment, but we were kind of drunk and we just went with the flow.

 

Now I don't regret it, because she moved up North, but our sex life has improved 3 fold and we are more in love with each other than ever before.

 

Hope this helps.

[teetop]

 

 

I think it would be great to have a 3some with your partner. I did and we both loved it. It was a close friend of mine that he had desire for when he met her I did too and she did too. So we did it and we still do on occasion and its fun. Everyone needs sexual excitement and times in there marriage. I have been married to this wonderful person for 5 years and he only with her when I am around and I don't mind. Even if she is there when I get home it turns me on. Go and try to see if you like it. I felt deep in love with her but my husband told me to wake the hell up and it was only us not her when the day was over. He loves me and will never leave me until death do us part. So, I listen so now all we do is do it and that's it no hard loving attach feelings anymore. We still care about her though.

 

Good luck

[Huligan]

respect 2Barbara

2author - just do it like they and enjoy

....and i think about 4 someone ...

[HoniBrown1607306450]

I think deep down inside you are interested in being with another woman. There has to be something inside of you who would mine being touch and licked by a female in order for you to even think the thought of possibly having another female in your bed. I think you feel it to be safe if you think you are doing it just for your husband there to initiated what you really want deep down inside for yourself. Maybe you want the experience and it's in the back of your mind, because you wouldn't want anyone to possibly think you might be gay and it's easier to say a "threesome" instead of me "to get some". I think you should explore your mind and your feeling. Suggest phone sex with her first instead of doing the real thing and see if you like it and then go from there. Instead of putting her directly in your bed, test it out to see if you think your man might like her better than you and then you adjust accordling. I responded because I felt this needed to be said. We all have some freak in us.

[tomnharry]

this woman is attracted to your husband ... how do you know she is bi ? they are being intimate together, you have not been included in that so far ... I think the fantasy is healthy, I think the reality could be dangerous for you both. Personally if my wife wanted something like this I would prefer if it was a girl she had met and chosen. I think this sounds too risky.

[pivvle]

 

 

You have seen the pictures of this lady and are obviously attracted just as much as your husband. What you can't gauge is the emotional feelings, but being married 15 years will probably help your understanding of your husbands true deisres. Ensure that the trust in your relationship is completely equal.

 

If all is well and you have NO little niggling concerns, then I think you should go for it and have a bloddy good time.

 

 

[baboon]

a few years ago my wife and I had a threesome with my brother. it was fantastic I enjoyed seeing her be the centere of attention and dident mind watching her sucking on my brothers cock we both made love to her about six times on the first night and we did it again the following weekend then the following weekend it was "pieriod week" but she gave us both oral sex. then we left it alone for a while and after about 3 months we had a threesome with my wifes old school friend so I got to sleep with two women it was fantastic and something we both wanted to try it is done now and we have now plans to repeat it but we wouldent rule it out so if you both want to do it and are comfortable with it go for it my wife and I sex life is still brilliant with each other as it was before the threesomes

[sonjam]

The state of mind needs to be right. The fact that he has feelings for her is not. We had a 3 some but decided to get "someoene" to please us as a couple, not him and her or me and her - but us. That was the frame of mind. I we got a mutual friend that loves us both and that is open minded. It was fantastic. We knew she gave us both equal pleasure, not because there is a hidden agenda. With that in mind we did it about 3 times. Afterwards we did not have any bad feelings, or feelings of misstrust. You have to have a steady and loving relationship going, with no infidility to try this. IT COULD BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE VERY EASILY. Be carefull.