What if?

[Clementine orange]

you find yourself falling in love with someone who is all wrong...do you avoid them and run away or do you just let it happen because maybe a few moments of happiness is worth the ultimate pain?

 

Does the head rule...should it be allowed to? Or does the heart - is it reliable or sensible enough to be given that kind of control?

 

...or does it even matter really? Maybe nothing matters...

or maybe nothing matters but what if is did?

[15 Storeys High]

It depends in what respect they are "wrong". If by "wrong" it's meant that falling in love will harm you in some way then it's best to let your head rule. If by "wrong" it's meant that falling in love might bring with it some other problems then you have to make a decision as to whether being in love outweighs those problems. Will being in love with this "wrong" person really make you happy?

 

I think, in many ways, it's foolish to let either rule you completely. It's important to have a balance between the heart and the head making decisions. Use both and you'll come out with the better decision for yourself.

[renaissancewoman101]

I've noticed even if I fall in love with someone new, who is NOT right for me, I will still take the plunge, mainly because I don't want regrets in my life. To me, one has to take chances. Maybe the person you thought was NOT right for you ends up turning out to be the RIGHT guy for you. You never know unless you take a chance.

[ColdHands...]

Run like the wind...it doesnt end pretty. Ive taken the plunge before and it wasnt good. Having said that...I wouldnt be at all surprised if I took the plunge again...*sigh*

[doyathink]

I would run. I fell for a man who was all wrong for me. I wasted the last nine years, and now trying to mend what he broke.

 

I'd never so much as entertain the thought again.

[JenniferSNJ]

you find yourself falling in love with someone who is all wrong...do you avoid them and run away or do you just let it happen because maybe a few moments of happiness is worth the ultimate pain?

 

When I was 18, I let my heart rule and I went for it. After four years, I had to end my relationship with this person because all of those other things weren't aligned.

 

I would run from it now. If I started to fall for someone that was all wrong for me-

 

ie: doesn't want children ever/ doesn't believe in marriage/ etc.

 

I would basically turn my feelings off for that person. Looking for a partner now, can't waste time with someone I'm completely incompatible with even if I do get the butterflies.

[tiredofvampires]

It depends in what respect they are "wrong". If by "wrong" it's meant that falling in love will harm you in some way then it's best to let your head rule. If by "wrong" it's meant that falling in love might bring with it some other problems then you have to make a decision as to whether being in love outweighs those problems. Will being in love with this "wrong" person really make you happy?

 

I think, in many ways, it's foolish to let either rule you completely. It's important to have a balance between the heart and the head making decisions. Use both and you'll come out with the better decision for yourself.

 

I can't agree more with this, Clem. I was also unsure in your OP how you mean "wrong", and it depends. And have nearly nothing to add to this, except to say that if the way this is wrong for you is that you are incompatible as partners in the long run and it's harmful to either you or them to try to make a relationship work, then I would say ask yourself what your priorities are in life. You've posted this in "Finding Love and Soulmate", so if that is your life priority, a fleeting bit of happiness experienced that is doomed because of who you are and who she is is not going to get you either love or a soulmate, is it? It's going to get you a bit of instant gratification. And so you have to keep your sights on what you really want, to decide what to do. You could do this and go through the drama of extricating yourself...or you could hold out for the one that won't be fleeting.

 

If you had no intention of making something serious and lasting an important endeavor, that would be a different story, but the foregoing is based upon the aims of "falling in love", finding love and choosing a soulmate.

[renaissancewoman101]

The thing is you can't know if something is going to be lasting and NOT fleeting, unless you try it out. Sometimes even those relationships that seem fleeting and shallow, it CAN turn into something that lasts. One never knows.

[tiredofvampires]

Maybe the person you thought was NOT right for you ends up turning out to be the RIGHT guy for you. You never know unless you take a chance.

 

This can also be true...but if you already have enough red flags at the beginning, and a gut intuition, then beware of this...I was in a relationship where I kept trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, and it just couldn't work. But for some, some of the time, what you're saying can be true. You have to really been perceptive and know what are true dealbreakers and what are just obstacles that can be worked out.

 

Edit: I just saw you post your post above after I posted mine! I agree...I would say if you feel something is "wrong", then that needs to be pondered. If a budding relationship has flaws in it at the start that show up basic incongruities of personality that will clash (rather than complement eachother), to me, from my experience anyway, that is different from having some unlikely or unclear elements in the picture.

[PrincessBOT]

When I was 18, I let my heart rule and I went for it. After four years, I had to end my relationship with this person because all of those other things weren't aligned.

 

I would run from it now. If I started to fall for someone that was all wrong for me-

 

ie: doesn't want children ever/ doesn't believe in marriage/ etc.

 

I would basically turn my feelings off for that person. Looking for a partner now, can't waste time with someone I'm completely incompatible with even if I do get the butterflies.

 

This information is right on and you know it at such a young age, that's great!

[amipushy]

It starts with us ignoring the warning signs. The very second we think "Oh no" we need to back away. Ignoring those signs in what takes us down the wrong road to heartache.

[onewithbooks]

for me logic usually wins out. ifs its not right, its not right, why waste time when i could be spending it with the right one?

[tina-rocks]

I would never pass up the chance at love as the feeling when in it surpasses every other emotion known to man