How do I get him back?

[mmq19711607306447]

I really need some good advice to anyone who can offer it. My boyfriend and I broke up 2 1/2 weeks ago. I blame myself as I verbally abused him alot. When we last fought I kicked him out. Ever since I have been trying to get him back. At first he was going to come back but then said he changed his mind because he didn't trust me. As well his family is against him coming back. I know he loves me he tells me that his feelings has not changed and that he is afraid. I have tried everything, I told him I would get counsilling to change my ways but he won't come back. He is at the bar every weekend drinking, I don't want that for him. He doesn't want to talk when I call and he says he is fine but when I call he cries and hangs up on me. Do anybody have any tips to offer me.

 

MMQ1971

[SwingFox]

Hi mmq,

 

I am sorry for all that you are going thru right now. I am sure you are in a very difficult situation at the moment.

 

This guy is very hurt over what you have done and probably insecure, too. The only way that is going to heal, is by having patience with him now. He needs time to trust you again and he needs you to get that old feeling of love again.

 

You might or might not get back together. Time will tell. I just want to give you some extra insight. If you are going to try this path, the coming period you will feel that you walk on his toes for him and that YOU are trying to make it work again and putting in all the efforts, where he might still hesitate and have doubts. That comes with this process. My insight I give you is that you have to decide up to how far you can take that. Don't forget that the only obligation YOU have in life is the obligation to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy.

 

I wish you good luck on your attempts and I hope that you will work it out.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[mermayd]

I agree with fox, this man has been hurt and it may take him quite a while for him to trust you again. Try to accept this as much as you can. I would suggest that you try to keep a casual relationship between the two of you. Be on speaking terms...friendly. Maybe you can earn his trust back that way..

[bleeder]

Fox and Mermayd have said most of it.

 

This guy is really hurt and he is STILL hurting. Honestly, words and actions on your part might not do any help now. Give it some time. Meanwhile, take the effort to rethink the relationship. Are you certain that history would not repeat itself again? (as in you kicking him out, or the verbal abuse etc.)

 

Till you are certain and confident that you can keep yourself in check, do not approach him. It will only make matters worse if you folks get into another heated squabble again, right? Good luck!

[kandi13]

I know how you feel...I was with my ex 3 times before, and I loved him. But I didnt treat him right at all. I hit him, I yelled, and I just plain out hurt him alot. But I did love him so much. People said that wasnt love, cuz i was such a bit*h to him. He was nice enough to take me back 3 times, we lost our friendship becuz I was a bit*h so many times. He wanted nuttin to do with me. But I got him back...as a friend and thats all for right now. I donno why i hurt him so much.....I loved him more then anything in this whole world....Hes giving me 1 more to change......so my advice to you is try to keep your temper in, and show him how much u love him