I wish I was born into another family sometimes

[BronzedSkin123]

I truly do.

 

I grew up with both of my parents. Sometimes, I wish I lived in a single parent home.

 

My father's love is totally conditional, he is only happy for you when you get ahold of some money and that only lasts until he spends it or for a day or so. And if you accomplish something he is in good spirits with you momentarily.

 

Nothing really helps, father's day baloons or cards don't really do any justice. I could have saved my money on father's day because I wasn't going to get him anything. But my mother encouraged me to buy him something, so I did it. What a waste. I was one of the kids who was there every birthday and holliday to buy him a gift while my older two brothers never get him anything.

 

I know I am not perfect and that my life could be more on track but I am working towards it. I got accepted into nursing school and if I do well and graduate I can leave this house. My father has wanted me gone since I was 18-20. I remember him saying he couldn't wait until I got married and left home at 20 years old. If it was up to him, he'd have me quit college and work at a department store 40 hours a week on welfare. At one point both my mother and father were encouraging me to quit school and become a manager at walmart so I can get my own place.

 

 

I think my mother in particular has something wrong with her she may

be bipolar. Now that I am older I defintely sense that something is

mentally wrong with her behavior. I recently started a new job and

showed my mother my paycheck, it appears that my paycheck should be

more than what it is...fine I'll take care of it when I get around to

it. No, my mother calls me up on my cell phone discussing my hours

and how many days I went to work that week, and asks me if I will

talk to my boss. I said, "yeah". I know why my hours are a bit short,

but when I get a chance I'll still talk to my boss about it.

 

This morning before I even got a chance to get my day started she

starts again stressing me out about the paycheck...asking me if I

called the woman. I lied to her and said yeah. Mainly because my

mother goes into these emotional rants and rages about things that

don't concern her. She acts as if MY LIFE is HERS.

 

She asks me what the woman said and I remained silent. I didn't want

to tell her that I haven't called her yet. She realizes that I asn't

telling the truth and snatches the keys off of my dresser and takes

the keys to the house away from me, saying I don't deserve a key to

the house. I fight with her to get them back and she says that if I

scartch her she will beat the hell out of me. She goes into these

crazy rages.

 

Eventually she gives me the keys back after she calms down.

 

I am so sick of this, I am getting closer and closer to entering

nursing school and the program is a year. I PRAY that I do well

because I need to get out of this environment so badly.

 

the funny thing is, is that as much as my mother sometimes tells me that i need to be more independent, she will turn around and say that she doesn't want me to leave. I truly think she gets gratification out of chastising me and putting me down all the time like I am a child.

[KaylaJoy]

Sweetheart, at 23 years old, you have to do whatever you have to do to have peace in your life. Life is too short to go thru all that drama when you don't have to. If having peace in your life means living in a one room apartment and eating beans and rice and rice and beans, by all means, do whatever it takes to have peace in your life!!

[Whiskers]

Have you considered renting a room with some students when you go to nursing school? It's entirely possible that when you get there, there will be others who have already left home and are doing just that and are on your course. It would get you away from your parents, and you could keep as much distance as you want with all the freedom you clearly don't have.

I know it costs money but if you are sharing with others, the costs are dramatically reduced and it can't be worse than living at home with interfering and intrusive parents. You really are old enough to do just about anything you like and shouldn't suffer the indignity of having them question your every move.

XXXX

[Whiskers]

KaylaJoy,

 

Amen to that!

[Catdancer]

I think at some point we all wish that we had different lives. I had an f'ed up childhood, but in my teen years it was good and I'm lucky to have such an awesome relationship with my mom. My father is another story. Ughhh!

 

Can you look outside the box and try to find a living alternative? Look for ads for a live in companion for an elderly person. Usually you can stay there for free and you can discuss your nursing school with them so that you can finish. Do you have any other relatives that you could stay with until you finish your training? What about moving in with a roomate? If something in your life makes you unhappy..fix it! It's your life. You're in control and you do not have to tolerate an uncomfortable situation.

[BronzedSkin123]

Right now I don't know anyone who I can room with. My friend at the moment lives at home with her parents and so far she plans on tolerating them until she graduates too. Not to mention, she has a boyfriend and whatever decision she makes it's going to involve him.

 

So far all the friends/acquainteances I have live at home with their parents and don't have plans on leaving until they finish trade school/college.

 

I'm trying to put up with this because the program is only 11 months..and nursing school is 5 days a week 8 hours a day..so I'll be away from them. but it 's like the closer i get to it, the harder it becomes for me.

 

My mother is literally driving me nuts. She went with me to talk to a counselor in nursing school yesterday. When we got in the car, she started grinding me about why I didn't see the flyers on the wall listed for employment. It really pissed her off. She said that I have been going up to that counselor for months and never saw the flyers, and that I had a one track mind because if she saw it so should I. She was literally arguing with me about that. And then she got mad because some people were talking to her about how a nursing school program opened up in a new building and she said why does everyone tell her things and not me, she kept nagging about why had no one told me that a new nursing school opened up..I don't see why this even matters regardless of whether a new building exists or not I am still gong to be attending nursing school......that's why I am starting to wonder if something is wrong with my mother mentally

[Excalibur]

It matters not who you were born as provided that you become who you were born to be. Aristotle

[jengh]

checkout link removed

sometimes going in blind is best anyways. I've lived with friends and I've lived with strangers. Those strangers have become my best friends.

 

But seriously, you need to get out of that environment. It's unhealthy and it will make it so much more difficult to get through school.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Yeah, I know what it's like to deal with a messed up family.

 

Move out if you can. It's a lot easier to be around them when you don't "have" to be.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Well, your mother may be messed up, but she does indeed raise some good points...if you are being cheated out of rightful hours and salary, why did you not immediately sort it out with your boss? It sounds like your mother's complaints about you have to do with lack of initiative in work-related matters. I don't think, from those examples, that you can say your mother is bi-polar. It sounds like she is just frustrated with you and would wish that you were more of a go-getter. At any rate, I think finding some roommates and moving out on your own would be a very good idea.

[crosstownTraffic]

Gosh, now you got me thinking maybe my own mom was bipolar, She would do the strangest things too. Living with her, was like drama incorporated at times. She also would grill me.

My cousin told me that his own sister, my aunt is bipolar, though she's never told us that, but her actions are equally as drastic and unstable. Does being bipolar run in the family?

 

I know what you are going through... so much of this rings a bell with me as well, I really don't think we have a very functional family growing up, but at least my dad was halfway normal.

"This morning before I even got a chance to get my day started she

starts again stressing me out about the paycheck...asking me if I

called the woman. I lied to her and said yeah. Mainly because my

mother goes into these emotional rants and rages about things that

don't concern her. She acts as if MY LIFE is HERS.

 

She asks me what the woman said and I remained silent. I didn't want

to tell her that I haven't called her yet. She realizes that I asn't

telling the truth and snatches the keys off of my dresser and takes

the keys to the house away from me, saying I don't deserve a key to

the house."

My mom would harangue me for countless hours about the stupidest of things, but it never seemed like she wanted me to be happy really at times.

It's very strange growing up with peopel who don't act normal, trust me, i know where you are coming from. Wouldn't you rather get out of the house and that environment though and be able to live your own life in peace?

 

I myself, couldn't wait to get out of the house. It was so nice living on my own and not having to answer to anyone about all my decisions. You're over 21. Try to find a roommate who's cool you can share a place with. Be selective about whom you move in with, make sure you get along, but trust me, I think you'll be happier once you do, even if it's hard to make ends meet for a while. Good luck to you bronzed.