my partners, partners, um… sex buddy/FWB

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Actually, Nova, you don't have it right... Go back and read the original post.

 

Rose is worried that a guy INSIDE her poly circle (and one of her lovers) is having sex with a woman INSIDE the poly circle (who is best friends with ROSE) but not telling his girlfriend who is OUTSIDE the poly circle that he is cheating.

 

So yes, it is complicated, as poly relationships tend to become, very complicated. It works fine until someone breaks outside the circle, or the dynamics change inside the circle, or someone inside the circle decides to play by their own rules, as Rose is discovering. Poly relationships by default are complicated because of the number of people involved in one-to-many relationships.

 

I think when things become this complicated, 'rules' are hard to apply unless they are written down somewhere and everyone agrees.

[novaseeker]

I did read the OP. It says this:

 

My boyfriend’s girlfriend (and my very good friend) is seeing someone a few times a year, at burning man mostly but the last few times she saw him he was cheating on his girlfriend to be with her.

So the OP has a BF. That BF has (another) GF who is also the best friend of the OP. That best friend is seeing someone she met at burning man who is cheating on his GF to be with her. That's what I diagrammed.

 

It's not a guy from inside the circle having sex with the OP's best friend -- its the OP's best friend (and another lover of her BF) who is seeing this guy she met at burning man who is cheating on his GF to see her.

 

At least that's the way I read the OP? Rose, do we understand what you're asking?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

LoL!! If you had to diagram it, it proves by default it is complicated.... No easy rules to play by in the poly world.

[novaseeker]

Hehe.

 

I got used to thinking this way when I was close to my poly friend -- thinking about concentric rings of relationships and diagramming them in my head (her GF, her lover, her other lover, etc). It's probably pretty confusing at first. It gets really confusing when you start stretching out everyone's multiple partners, though!

[rosephase]

I did read the OP. It says this:

 

So the OP has a BF. That BF has (another) GF who is also the best friend of the OP. That best friend is seeing someone she met at burning man who is cheating on his GF to be with her. That's what I diagrammed.

 

It's not a guy from inside the circle having sex with the OP's best friend -- its the OP's best friend (and another lover of her BF) who is seeing this guy she met at burning man who is cheating on his GF to see her.

 

At least that's the way I read the OP? Rose, do we understand what you're asking?

 

You are dead on, but even my head is spinning after all of that. Thank you for taking the time.