GottaLetItBurn Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 I know a lot of women that think I'm hot. Hell even girls I'm friends with tell me, but I also know that there are certain girls that would think I'm ugly. I mean the girls that were that ridiculous A&F clothing, they are after other followers of that so called style that I would never have a part of. thereforeeee they think since I don't dress like that image it's not hot. Pretty is in the eye of the beholder. I don't think this guy would go out with you for so long if you didn't turn him on because 2 years is such a long time. He is just telling you that so you feel less confident and he can convince himself your not worth chasing. I think he "protests" too much if you know what I'm talking about. Part of getting over someone sometimes is convincing yourself they were not as good looking and that you can get better. It's a defense mechanism. Try to get it out of your head, I know it's hard hearing that and it hurts, but he couldn't of meant that. Link to comment
foreverlost Posted June 1, 2008 Author Share Posted June 1, 2008 I think he was drunk... also, after tellling me all of that he txted me saying that we can fool around the next day.... excuse me? I think NEVER. he also drunk called me after his night out... I never knew I hurt him or had that big of an effect on him. Link to comment
Pocket Rocket Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I think he was drunk... also, after tellling me all of that he txted me saying that we can fool around the next day.... excuse me? I think NEVER. he also drunk called me after his night out... I never knew I hurt him or had that big of an effect on him. Seriously, if he calls again, hang up before he has a chance to say anything. If he starts becoming persistent with calls, don't be afraid to block his number. If he physically shows up, get a restraining order. If he texts, don't even bother opening the message, delete it before you read it. Don't give him the satisfaction of having wasted even one second of your attention on him. Your ex is an idiot. Oh and the glasses idea thejigsup posted about - fantastic, you might want to use it Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Oh hunny... that was so nasty! What an immature, awful thing to say to someone! He is definitely trying to hurt you...of course it is completely false! That is verbal abuse...don't allow him access to you anymore! Go NC right away! ((hugs)) Link to comment
foreverlost Posted June 2, 2008 Author Share Posted June 2, 2008 I am thinknig about doing tha tglasses thing on his birthday... what do you think? haha Link to comment
jiangkejia Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 A person says something like this is a primary school student, i think you remember how you yelled at the boy sitting next to you when you were 6 hate you!! You are ugly!!" Link to comment
JadedStar Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Sounds like he's trying to tear you down so he can build himself up. Don't put any worth in his words, you know better. This is exactly what is going on. What a vengeful man. Try to move on without giving him an ounce of your time. I am very leary of people who can say such hurtful things when angry. That is over the top. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 He may have all the parts of a man but he is not a real man. Consider yourself lucky he is out of your life. Abuse is abuse whether words or fists and no one has to put up with it ever. Insecure little people put down others to make themselves or their lives seem better but it doesn't work. Consider the source and do not talk to him ever again. lost Link to comment
tushboy Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Not tryin to defend him....but people say all sorts of things after break up..I have said the worst things to my Ex, in that flurry of moment, called him names, but they know you don't mean it....It doesnt justify the act, but don't read too much into it...when some one is hurt and don't see you on the same level as they are, they try to hurt you by using all kinds of tactics...and this was just one of it. Link to comment
Pocket Rocket Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Not tryin to defend him....but people say all sorts of things after break up..I have said the worst things to my Ex, in that flurry of moment, called him names, but they know you don't mean it....It doesnt justify the act, but don't read too much into it...when some one is hurt and don't see you on the same level as they are, they try to hurt you by using all kinds of tactics...and this was just one of it. Have you apologised to your ex for doing that? You say "they know you don't mean it" but has he told you how he felt about your reaction? Look at the reaction of the OP, it can be bewildering and soul destroying to do something like that to a person, especially if they already have self esteem issues. It is even worse in this case as the OP is the dumpee, not the dumper. I understand you are not trying to defend him, but what you mentioned was a 'reason' and not a justification. However, along the lines of what you have posted, it is true. He must be feeling pretty awful about himself to be so rash and cruel. On the basis of that, I think in the long run it would be best for foreverlost to forgive and forget - but never waste a minute more of her time on this guy. Don't stay angry and hurt forever, set yourself free eventually Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 woah dont listen to a word of it! What a disgusting thing to say! I can guarantee that the only reason he said that was to hurt you and to provoke a reaction. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you are ugly, noone is ugly! Link to comment
foreverlost Posted June 2, 2008 Author Share Posted June 2, 2008 On the basis of that, I think in the long run it would be best for foreverlost to forgive and forget - but never waste a minute more of her time on this guy. Don't stay angry and hurt forever, set yourself free eventually I am not angry... I am just a bit upset. I never expected him to say that. he is nearly in his 30's! I am going to move on now and not contact him. Also, I will never forgive him until he comes to me and apologizes... which he NEVER will. Link to comment
Pocket Rocket Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Also, I will never forgive him until he comes to me and apologizes... which he NEVER will. That's anger anger isn't necessarily a bad thing, eventually as you go through the feelings of having broken up, anger is one of the things that crops up, and that's healthy. What is unhealthy is letting your anger get the better of you and becoming aggressive. Conversely, not getting angry enough is also unhealthy, that is having no indignation over what someone has done to you because of low self esteem. What I was trying to say is that -eventually- you may forgive him but NOT for his sake, but for yours. The kind of unhealthy anger I was trying to mention is the kind which holds a grudge and festers, and sometimes screams for revenge, or lasts for years. I am not saying you will go through that, but if you do, watch out, it bites. And as I said before, his behaviour may have had reasons, but never any justification (nothing can justify lashing out at someone like that). You have to honour yourself by not letting the wound sink too deep. It's okay to feel upset, feel the hurt when you hurt, don't ignore it. But do remember to build up some of the self esteem you may have lost in the transaction. You are FABULOUS, anyone who says otherwise is in denial Link to comment
Theo Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 People only call someone ugly to hurt them. Nobody is really cruel enough to call an actual ugly person ugly. (my faith in humans persists) Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 People only call someone ugly to hurt them. Nobody is really cruel enough to call an actual ugly person ugly. (my faith in humans persists) Yes, some girls are cruel and mean. I have been told to my face before by a girl saying to me your ugly! Link to comment
foreverlost Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 after all that he has told me, I feel like calling him now... why? I haven't a clue. Link to comment
foreverlost Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 Is it too much to ask for if I really want him to apologize for saying all of that to me? Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Is it too much to ask for if I really want him to apologize for saying all of that to me? Do you really think he will apologize? Do you really think he feels badly about what he said? I ask because my feeling is that the answer to both of these questions is NO, and you'll simply be setting yourself up for more heartbreak if you contact him for any reason. Personally, I think you're better off just leaving it as it is; he has proven he has NO class whatsoever in saying what he said to you. In seeking an apology from him, you'll be letting him know how much his thoughtless nastiness got to you. It's better, in my opinion, that you not even dignify his nasty comments with a response. I'm reading a great book right now about letting go (I think I'll make a post about it later), and one of the questions the author asks the reader to consider is: Why do we seek approval from those who do not even approve of themselves? I know you're not seeking his *approval* per se, but there IS something you are seeking from him, something he isn't a decent enough human being to give you. The guy obviously has some serious issues if he would say what he said to you, so why seek ANYTHING, even an apology, from such a messed up person? Not even bothering to acknowledge his nastiness will say far more than calling him on it ever could. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.