GrowingUp Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 OMG MY BRAIN HURTS. I don't know what I'm doing to myself. I suck at this relationship thing Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 You are thinking WAYYYYY too much into this. You two were b-r-o-k-e-n up. It doesn't matter what he said, what he did or what he said he was going to do. No, it's not lying. I don't understand what you are confused about. You are just thinking way too much and you're driving yourself nuts and you are getting no where. Link to comment
DN Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Look - I strongly suggest you stop justifying this suspicion about what he did when you were broken up. It is totally irrelevant and distracting you from the main issue. You seem absolutely determined to find any reason to distrust him and I am as sure as I can be that you are making a huge error that is going to cause you endless misery. Stop doing that. Either that or break up with him and never, ever get into another relationship. Because if you do, you will repeat the same mistake and make yet another man miserable and unhappy with zero justification. I think you are being very unfair to your boyfriend to inflict this on him. If he leaves you because of it I would understand why he did. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Either that or break up with him and never, ever get into another relationship. Because if you do you will repeat the same mistake and make yet another man miserable and unhappy with zero justification. I think you are being very unfair to your boyfriend to inflict this on him. If he leaves you because of it I would understand why he did. very well said, DN. Link to comment
GrowingUp Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 To this day I ask him to just tell me if he messed around when we were broken up and he still says no. Its eating me alive on the insides to not know... really know. I don't know why its bothering me so damn much. I know I am ridiculous right? Link to comment
DN Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Yes. One day he will tell you 'yes' just to get you off his back. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I am sorry but yes, you are very ridiculous. Why not just take his word for it that he didn't get with any other girls? Even if he did ... it wouldn't matter ... because you two were not together!!! Link to comment
DN Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Tell me what you though of your previous boyfriends who cheated on you? What did you think of their morals and characters? Link to comment
GrowingUp Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 They acted very selfish and just dirty, their personalities were like a "player" you know. They had that bad attitude and just seemed shady I don't know why I was attracted to them to be honest Link to comment
DN Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 They acted very selfish and just dirty, their personalities were like a "player" you know. They had that bad attitude and just seemed shady I don't know why I was attracted to them to be honest Horrible people then. That is what you are accusing your boyfriend of being. Exactly that. Link to comment
GrowingUp Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 you know what? you're right! Can't deny it. I want to be normal for a change you guys. I want to be happy and secure in my relationship but I seem like I cant sometimes. Link to comment
DN Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 When you get burned it is reasonable to be wary of fire. But that should not mean that you are so scared of it that you never feel it's warmth again. You are a little more cautious until you regain confidence in yourself and your ability to handle it. Link to comment
GrowingUp Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 thanks for the advice, I will make sure to keep both of your views in mind when I have these negative thoughts Link to comment
GrowingUp Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 My mom tells me that every man cheats so that also could be why I have doubts. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 No, not every man cheats. That's a bunch of horse doo-doo! Women cheat too. Men cheat. Women cheat. Does that mean they all do? Come on, get real. Link to comment
GrowingUp Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 I know I just hear about alot of girls getting cheated on and everyone getting divorced because of it and then I assume that its bound to happen to me because I am just a regular girl just like them. Link to comment
DN Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I have been married 33 years and never cheated. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I know I just hear about alot of girls getting cheated on and everyone getting divorced because of it and then I assume that its bound to happen to me because I am just a regular girl just like them. your mindset is all wrong. so just because it happens to other people who have to act like a needy, naggy obsessive girlfriend...which could lead your boyfriend to cheating. rather then being that fun, easy-going girlfriend? seriously. Link to comment
GrowingUp Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 I have been married 33 years and never cheated. that is so cool barbielovesmac I agree, its like who wants to be around a damn wet blanket all day blah I need to change this bad habit ASAP ugh Link to comment
Darkness_Falls Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Hi GrowingUp. I have been in your position before and I know what it's like. You will ask your man one thing and he gives you an answer yet you feel compelled to ask him it over and over again in case he was lying. You never feel satisfied when he has given you the answer because you feel that it wasn't the right answer, that he must have cheated on you or got with other girls. I'm trying to listen to my bf more when I ask him a question and I'm trying to not question him over and over again. Because if they were doing that to us, how annoying would it be? What we have to do is ask our boyfriends the question just once and accept the answer. If we want to ask again, we just ask it in our head and remind ourselves of what the answer was. Then we go get some ice cream and sit and watch a movie to take our mind of things. I don't think your bf needed to tell you what sites he had signed up to. I sign up to various sites and I don't mention to my boyfriend unless I think it will be of some interest to him, he does the same. It just doesn't matter in the long run. He probably signed up to chat to old mates. And the dating site, well he maybe didn't want to hurt you by telling you. I would say not to snoop because if you snoop, you will always find something you feel you don't like. Makes life easier not to snoop. Trust him. He hasn't done anything to take your trust of him away, he's a top class boyfriend. Keep telling yourself that. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I know I just hear about alot of girls getting cheated on and everyone getting divorced because of it and then I assume that its bound to happen to me because I am just a regular girl just like them. that's because the bad overshadows the good. you don't remember how many times your little puppy was good. what sticks out was the time he crapped in your bed, peed on the carpet, and ate your shoes. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Are you still all bent ap about this? Link to comment
GrowingUp Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 Not as much as yesterday thats for sure. I calmed down a bit. I still feel a little weird inside but I am hoping that it calms down soon. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 You get yourself all worked up over nothing. It's obvious that you let your emotions get the best of you. You really need to work on changing yourself if you want to have a REAL future with your boyfriend. Like we've already said before the problem isn't him, it's you. Stop blaming him for YOUR insecurities. Stop blaming him for what OTHERS have done to you. It's not fair to him and I wouldn't be surprised if and when he decides to run for the hills. It's like the ball is in your court here. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.