annie24 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 the thing that makes a person qualified to give advice is the fact that they were asked. Link to comment
shikashika Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 the thing that makes a person qualified to give advice is the fact that they were asked. Exactly! Don't ask if you don't want responses. Link to comment
kevinm Posted April 27, 2008 Author Share Posted April 27, 2008 Yeah, I think I'm going to delete this whole thread. You guys are all terrible at giving advice. Just teasing -Kevin Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 I think one must be careful not to discount advice given by people who haven't experienced certain things. Sure there are clueless people who have lived a charmed life and don't understand..but you don't necessarily have to experience something to understand it..you could acquire wisdom just by being around people who have experienced these things....and that wisdom can be far more valuable than from someone who experienced something and continues to make the same mistakes. Link to comment
shikashika Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 I think one must be careful not to discount advice given by people who haven't experienced certain things. Sure there are clueless people who have lived a charmed life and don't understand..but you don't necessarily have to experience something to understand it..you could acquire wisdom just by being around people who have experienced these things....and that wisdom can be far more valuable than from someone who experienced something and continues to make the same mistakes. I agree, the more perspectives the better. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Easy way to sum all this up. "Those who can do. Those who can't teach." Old saying but still fits.Also a lot of posts are from younger people that have not had the years to learn from the mistakes most of us have made, so we share our lessions with them so in return they might not have to learn the hard way as we did. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 i disagree - i think often times it's harder to teach than to do it yourself. you have to have a deeper knowledge of something to be able to teach it than to just do it. Link to comment
shikashika Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Easy way to sum all this up. "Those who can do. Those who can't teach." Old saying but still fits.Also a lot of posts are from younger people that have not had the years to learn from the mistakes most of us have made, so we share our lessions with them so in return they might not have to learn the hard way as we did. in some circumstances, yes, but if you didn't have teachers, no one would ever learn how to 'do' Link to comment
just M.E. Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 I agree with annie, teaching is much harder than doing, if you are a good teacher Distilling your knowledge so another can absorb what you know can be very difficult. Link to comment
Boughs Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 But we have to consider the type of people coming to the site for advice. It takes a certain amount of loss to come to a site like this. I look at this site as more of a "let me get this off my chest and see if others agree/disagree"... less of a "I need an answer to my problem" Link to comment
musicguy Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Through every failed relationship, we learn something new, about us, about how to approach the next relationship, what not to do. Of course all of us on here are qualified to dish out advice, we all have experiences that we go through everyday, whether it has to do with relationships or life. Somehow each one of our experiences is similar to another persons on here and can say "Hey, I've been through that before" When it comes to advice, it's a "take it or leave it" kinda thing. No one HAS to take my advice and can do what they want with it. If it helps that person out, then that's great, if it doesn't, then that's fine too. I don't expect anyone on here to have the perfect advice for any situation that I'm in. Since I've been on this site, there have been some people who have given me great advice and others who haven't. Have I been offended about a persons advice, sure I have and I've lashed out, but in the end it's ultimately my decision on whether it was helpful to me or not Link to comment
Pegasus Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 What I question is the sincerity which all posters approach other problems. There seem to be some posters just wanting to stand on their soap box and dish out advice. "I am right and you are wrong" type of posters. Does anyone else feel the same? Kevin, when you ask a question you will probably get an advice from people in various situations but you're the one who choses which to use. In my case I take advices from people who HAVE what I WANT to have. That is what makes sense to me. I mean, I wouldn't take a dating advice from myself ;-) because I went players route for last year so my advices about anything long term are totally useless. After a while being here you get who is "where" in their life so choosing an advice is not that hard. Remember - advices from people who have what you want to have. P. Link to comment
Superfreak Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Sometimes it might help a little, sometime it might hurt a little, one things for sure, if it's a serious marriage problem you really should be going to a trained counsellor rather then a bunch of wacky internet types. I've seen some pretty awful advice being given here but I've seen good advice as well. I think it works as long as you don't take everything you read as the gospel truth, i.e just because one poster says "no I don't think she likes you" don't use that as justification to not ask her out and find out yourself. Link to comment
heavenearth Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I'm thinking this morning, that maybe we shouldn't be giving each other advice. I realize that drawing from others experience is wise, but so many here are messed up emotions, have failed relationships, etc. Are we qualified to give each other advice? Sure sure, there are some topics I feel confident in giving advice as I've been through those situations. And I realize that we are like pieces of the puzzle of life, putting together everyones pieces to help develop a whole picture. What I question is the sincerity which all posters approach other problems. There seem to be some posters just wanting to stand on their soap box and dish out advice. "I am right and you are wrong" type of posters. Does anyone else feel the same? -Kevin If you want to learn how to take a punch, would you rather learn it from someone who never got hit or someone who's been hit before? Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I'm thinking this morning, that maybe we shouldn't be giving each other advice. I realize that drawing from others experience is wise, but so many here are messed up emotions, have failed relationships, etc. Are we qualified to give each other advice? Sure sure, there are some topics I feel confident in giving advice as I've been through those situations. And I realize that we are like pieces of the puzzle of life, putting together everyones pieces to help develop a whole picture. What I question is the sincerity which all posters approach other problems. There seem to be some posters just wanting to stand on their soap box and dish out advice. "I am right and you are wrong" type of posters. Does anyone else feel the same? -Kevin you have to sift out the insightful posters from the ones on the edge of disaster...I think I know the difference Link to comment
Brightest Dark Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Or, they start a thread, when they don't like what they read, or don't like the responses, they delete the thread Why post if you're not prepared for all types of responses. The ones that get deleted proabbly hit to close to home and the poster doesn't want to admit they are true. I can't speak for everyone else on here who deletes threads but the only reason I delete mine is because I personally prefer the world not to know about my personal life. You never know who could be reading this board and I'm a private person - so if I do post a thread and then get some replies, if I've then come to a conclusion based on the replies, or some outside influence, then I'd rather delete it. Link to comment
heavenearth Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 What I love about ENA is the guys and gals here don't sugarcoat you anything just to feed you poison. That's the biggest difference I've found, sometimes. Choose to receive it anyway you prefer. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 kevin, everyone goes through failure. so everyone's advice is relevant. if you don't like it, don't ask i guess. guess we are all losers. i give advice to help. you are supposed to take it however you want. maybe you aren't applying our advice, opinions, experiences in the right way. Link to comment
AuthenticAuthor Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I sometimes wonder if my advice isn't that valuable to those who are interested in finding a relationship; I tend to gear my advice for those who seek to be true to themselves. Since I have no experience in serious relationships, and hardly any experience with dating, much of the wisdom I have comes from what I learned NOT to do in social settings. So, in a way I am not qualified to give advice for relationship-seekers, yet I am qualified to give advice to those seeking to be happy. I think the same can be said for a lot of people here. Link to comment
boo121 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I like to think I'm good at giving out advice to people who are on the first 3 or 4 dates with a girl, because ive cocked it up a lot in the past lol. And have some experience with it. But as far as being a relationship coach? im not one of those, so i think its good to give out advice on topics you are confident with. Link to comment
Killasasparilla Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I'm thinking this morning, that maybe we shouldn't be giving each other advice. I realize that drawing from others experience is wise, but so many here are messed up emotions, have failed relationships, etc. Are we qualified to give each other advice? Sure sure, there are some topics I feel confident in giving advice as I've been through those situations. And I realize that we are like pieces of the puzzle of life, putting together everyones pieces to help develop a whole picture. What I question is the sincerity which all posters approach other problems. There seem to be some posters just wanting to stand on their soap box and dish out advice. "I am right and you are wrong" type of posters. Does anyone else feel the same? -Kevin If you think that people in the real world are any different, you're completely wrong. We are all actual people. Were as qualified to give and take advice as your real friends are. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.