Texas2004 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Here is the situation. I asked a girl out who I have known for a while (we have been on friend terms). Had a good time last Saturday night for dinner. She seemed receptive. Tuesday, we started texting, and I suggested we go for dinner and a movie (normal - guy asking for a 2nd date). Pretty innocuous right? Well, after that, no response on the text. Nothing. I asked her another question off topic later and she responded to that. Then today, we started chatting again friendly but she never brought up my date request. I am totally confused now. If she wasn't interested, couldn't she just say no, or I'm busy, or I just want to be friends, or I'm just not interested in going out again? Somebody told me that she might not want to seem to eager in responding to another date request. Basically, wait a while to keep me hanging and interested. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, because I think she would give me at least some response so I know one way or the other. Link to comment
BYOB Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 If she wasn't interested, couldn't she just say no?NO ...or I'm busy, or I just want to be friends, or I'm just not interested in going out again? YES but not IN THIS CASE. RARELY will women -people- DO SO. Somebody told me that she might not want to seem to eager in responding to another date request.WRONG Basically, wait a while to keep me hanging and interested.NO She thinks you're nice and she wants to talk to you again but doesn't feel the chemistry so she feels like she should avoid the question of a second date. Bleh...You know I hate to tell you this: (BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO FACE) a lost case before even trying to go further. (moreover, to face someone who doesn't feel like telling you straight up that he/she is not interested) Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Tuesday, we started texting, and I suggested we go for dinner and a movie (normal - guy asking for a 2nd date). Pretty innocuous right? Well, after that, no response on the text. Nothing. I asked her another question off topic later and she responded to that. Then today, we started chatting again friendly but she never brought up my date request. Texting. I hate texting. I know....I'm behind the times.... But is it possible she didn't get the text-asking her out for dinner and a movie- you sent? Link to comment
jengh Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Next time you speak with her (not text), I'd mention it again. Be light about it, "so, I was wondering what you thought about going out again this weekend?" There's no use in wondering. Just ask. Link to comment
lady00 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 It sounds like she's just not interested in dating further and just wants to be friends. Link to comment
Texas2004 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 I probably should have clarified something a bit from the start...it actually wasn't a total ignoring. She actually asked what movie it was that I wanted to see. I responded and after that nothing. So she did at least want to know what it was. Link to comment
BYOB Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Illusions She was curious but nothing more. Okay I'm seeing clearer in your game. You really want to date this girl but everything comes to the fact that it doesn't work but you're making so much effort to be with her that you still believe it possible that she will accept your offer. You're smarter than that I'm sure but you're making the math for both of you two. Try a different perspective. If she profoundly wanted to date you, she would have planned the date, time and even answered "great, I don't care, any movie will do". Illusions. My first goal is really to get you out of your dreams. Stop thinking about that girl at all, erase her of your life and as soon as you're capable to do that, ask her to a date... and if you're following me well enough, that means never ever date that girl. Stop dreaming. You don't need to dream. You don't need the love of a soulmate. Instead, go and find yourself some lovely friends. Oh, why not that girl you just talked about. Nice find. Link to comment
LL Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 She might just be scared of getting into it too quick. So the more casual you take the relationship/friendship, slowly getting to that next level, the better chance you may have. I know that I'm like her. If a guy moves too fast for me, I just shut down, and yes, don't reply to his texts. By her responding directly to the text asking for a second date would mean that she is committing to something. Yes, it's JUST a date, but it may be too much, too fast for her. So take it casual. Good luck! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 stop with the texting to ask people out. make it official call her up. no answer, leave a message. geez, you guys and your texting, emails, and IM i swear. quit being so weak and pick up the phone. Link to comment
RelaxByWater84 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 stop with the texting to ask people out. make it official call her up. no answer, leave a message. geez, you guys and your texting, emails, and IM i swear. quit being so weak and pick up the phone. I agree, I was once asked out by a guy texting me. I didn't go out with him. If a guy wants a date with me, he has to actually call me or ask me out in person. I want to see that he is making the effort to ask me. I know when my friends who are girls and I talk they will go out on one date and if they don't feel any chemistry they'll keep the guy around as a friend but nothing more. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 things you don't get from texting/emailing: voice, tone, directness, etc. things you get on the phone: all of the above thing you get in person: all of the above and body language and eye contact i usually ask a person out in person. i get their phone number and tell them i will give them a call sometime. Link to comment
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