blink_guy Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 my girlfriend and i are doing fantastic. and we did talk about this without anyone getting mad and all that too. because we are both always willing to say sorry and just go the other persons way. but here is the story. my girlfriend for the first time hung out with another guy. by themselves. but ths time it was a babysitting thing where they both baby sit for the same ppl. but that night she said that his dads about to die and that shes the only person she knows so she might be hanging out with him more often. now i sort of have a problem with this at the same time i dont. i trust her completely so in that respect i think its fine that they hang out. but then i also just dont like the fact that her and and another guy are hanging out by themselves. what is everyones opinion on this? ofcourse i told her its ok because she does have the right to hang out with who ever. but is it fair for me to feel this way? or am i being out of line? Link to comment
lana111 Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 its tough. i know that you trust her 100% but you dont trust him. i would alert her of the uncomfortable feelings that you have thinking about the two of them hanging out alone. see what she says. hopefully she will be accomodating and not spend alone time with him and keep their conversation to the phone...? Link to comment
Darkness_Falls Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I don't see that much problem with your gf hanging out with one of her guy friends by herself... personally I do that at times, I hang out with my guy mates or go to clubs with guy friends and my bf doesn't have problem with it. Normally my bf is there at the clubs but sometimes he isn't. I can however understand where you are coming from. If my bf was to hang out with a girl, I feel more comfortable if I have met her. But I do trust my bf wouldn't do anything. If you do feel uncomfortable with it just tell her and see what she says, maybe you just need some reassurance from her about it. But at the end of the day just remember that you and your girlfriend are doing great and in a fantastic relationship, you said that yourself. I'm sure you are probably worrying over nothing, but just have a chat with her, I'm sure she will be able to help you Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 When I had a bf, I would hang out with my best guy friend alone a lot of times, mainly because I didn't see my bf everyday. He never had issues with it, and if he did, I would NOT have been happy about it. Stop being so insecure!! Have some trust in your gf. Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I don't think there is a problem. You haven't mentioned anything that would lead me to believe she is untrustworthy. I don't thinnk you should say anything. Actually, I think its healthy for all people to have male and female friends, even when they are in a relationship. I find... generally speaking... more of a problem when people don't have many other male and female friends of the opposite sex (when they are all straight) .... those people are usually thinking of men or women more in a romantic setting than just friends. has she done anything or said anything to make you feel nervous about this? Link to comment
rs.dallaire Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 How did she meet the guy? Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I have male friends and we do sometimes hang out alone. Nothing happens, actually it strenghtens my feelings for my bf b/c I am away from him and hanging out with other people/friends. And also b/c by hanging out with other (guy) friends, I have my own life too. And that's healthy for a relationship. I was going to say as long as she isn't attracted to him it's ok. But then I remember, there is a thread on here, and someone said: "you can be attracted to someone yet never act on it" which is very true. Have trust in your relationship and your gf. Otherwise what's the point of being in a relationship right? Link to comment
blink_guy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 its not that i dont trust her. what really bothers me is that she will hang out with him even though she knows i have a small problem with it. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Yes but do you want someone who changes what she does because you have a "small problem" with it? It's about compromise and picking your battles. You might want to reconsider picking a battle over a "small problem" Link to comment
blink_guy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 well when we talked about it i said although it makes me a lil uneasy i am fine with it. i guess im just gona have to suck it up Link to comment
Pegasus Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Beware of new guy friends of your girlfriend. Be alerted! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 all of my exs have had guys around. guys that she hung out with alone too. i trusted all of my exs. if not, i wouldn't have dated them. but if she met a new guy and started to hang with him. no way. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 What is it with meeting new guys and hanging out with them that has people all in a dither??? Sometimes you can meet new guys in your classes (like doing group work) and hang out. It don't mean the girl wants them either. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 What is it with meeting new guys and hanging out with them that has people all in a dither??? Sometimes you can meet new guys in your classes (like doing group work) and hang out. It don't mean the girl wants them either. that's completely different than meeting a new guy and going and having drinks all night or something as 'friends'. what does the new guy have that your bf doesn't? Link to comment
LostNLuv Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Rule Number 1. Your girlfriend has no need to hang out with other guys...period. If she wants companionship she's got you. If she wants to hang out and go shopping she's got her girlfriends. Youre girlfriend may be doing nothing wrong, but I guarantee this guy is going to try driving a wedge in between you and her so that he can have her. Tell her that if she absolutely positively has to have this guy as her new friend that you want no part of it. Trust me. You're going to have problems if you don't. He's going to start putting things into her head about you and trying to break you guys up. She's going to run to him with every problem you two have and he's going to encourage her to break up with you and be with him every single chance he gets. Put a stop to it or break up with her now and save yourself the trouble. Link to comment
boo121 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 let her hang out with him. Don't mention that it's making you feel uncomforatble. Be indifferent. This is a good opportunity to let her miss you. When people spend too much time together they usually become friends not lovers - keep that in mind. Link to comment
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