Why do most women lie about this?

[Fritz The Cat]

Their weight and height.

 

A few months ago, I met a woman for lunch after meeting on the Internet. She had sent me a couple of pic, one of her sitting on a motorcycle and the other a face shot. What I expected was not what I got. She was grossly over weight and didn't resemble her pic at all. If it was really her, the pic was many years old.

 

I can tell if a woman is over weight or not usually by stating my height and weight. If she responds back with hers, most of the time she's normally proportioned, if she doesn't or responds back with just her height, chances are she's over weight.

 

What exactly are these women trying at accomplish with this dishonesty? Do they really believe that when they meet someone in person that they have deceived that things will work out anyway because they have such a wonderful personality? And why is it that when you directly ask them their height and weight they either stop responding at all or get up on their soap box and rant about how shallow you are?

 

I'm 5'11" 177lbs. am I being shallow by wanting someone similarly proportioned?

[Ash]

I don't think most women lie. Some women likely do and it perhaps stems from low self esteem. Frankly, there's no real point lying in an online profile because the people you meet will know what's real and what's not.

 

You want what you want. There's no right or wrong in your desires, that's completely personal. If you are fairly rigid on what you're looking for then having that in your profile might make somebody not being truthful about their profile think twice before arranging to meet.

[Pegasus]

I think women lie about weight (making it less than what it is) while men lie about height (making it more than what it is). They lie for the same reason that men lie about height, they're embarrassed and want to make a good impression. But that kinda fell apart when you met the girl, I guess, didn't it?

 

I'm a guy and I don't lie about my hight. I don't have to - I'm 6'2" and I'm satisfied with that even if I'm a bit smaller than average. It's not good to make generalizations.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

to be honest their weight and height is none of your business........no one should be asking someoen how much they weight.....i would look at a woman kinda weird if she asked me how much i weight...and i never lied about mine, im 6'1 235 take it or leave it

[Batya33]

When I had an online profile I gave my height and weight and dress size. I added about 2-3 pounds to the weight just in case we met on one of my "heavier" days lol. I know that others might disagree, but I resented being asked for additional "full body' photos. I had three head and shoulders shots and one down to my waist. My height, weight showed that I was thin, I gave 4 photos and believed that to be enough. (and I said which ones were a few years old and which ones were very recent - I didn't "age" so it didn't matter - at least according to the men I met).

 

I figured since we were only meeting for an hour or less, big deal. My friend and his wife met through a dating site - neither had photos posted.

 

I met a few men who lied about weight by about 40 pounds. Many lied about height. The weight lie was annoying but not "the" dealbreaker. Height didn't bother me as long as it was only 2 inches or less. 6 inches became ridiculous.

[RayKay]

I never lied about my weight or height - and always posted recent pictures (including a tasteful one of my entire self) as I know many men online were suspicious as yes they had encountered women whose concept of "fit" or "average" was quite different than their own.

 

For the record, I met men whom lied to about their own weight/height or used old pictures - so it goes both ways.

 

Be honest, because they are going to find out sooner or later and better to "lose" a potential date because they are not physically attracted to your weight before you meet then them find out not only are they not physically attracted, but that you LIED about it.

[xmrth]

There's SO many people I know who use "MySpace" for example (I don't, but I have looked just to see who's on there) who do not look a thing like how they do in their pictures. There's this one girl in a class I have that looks TOTALLY different because of the angle she's using. Or some people only use face shots. One of my girlfriends, and I feel bad, used photoshop to take a nice chunk out of her waist and did a HORRIBLE job. I don't think anyone would photoshop their weight off because apparently it's not easy.

 

But yeah, so many girls I know will say they're about 2 inches higher than they really are (in comparison to me, they'll be like the exact same) or their WIEGHT, oooh my. So many girls will say they are my weight (without knowing my weight) when they are clearly clearly clearly 15-20 heavier.

 

They ARE just numbers, but... yeah, it matters. If someone's not your type who's either heavy or super skinny then that's okay. If someone's severely misrepresenting themselves then yeah it's going to cause a problem and it's okay.

 

I don't know why women lie about their weight so much or even their height because they aren't fooling anyone.

 

to be honest their weight and height is none of your business........no one should be asking someoen how much they weight.....i would look at a woman kinda weird if she asked me how much i weight...and i never lied about mine, im 6'1 235 take it or leave it

 

This isn't the point, though.

[love4life]

You know, my ex was much slimmer in his photos than in real life. I remember thinking, "He looks nothing like his photos" when I met him. I told him so a few months later and even now when he's back on that same dating site, he has the same pics up (from what I saw a few months ago). Guess he didn't learn...

[renaissancewoman101]

I never lie about my weight and height on any online ads, mainly because I know people are already going to be shocked/surprised about my height. In fact, I make sure to emphasize that I am ONLY 4'5" tall. That way people are not in for a rude awakening when they meet me for the first time.

 

I can't count how many times when people/guys meet me for the first time, they are blown away by how tiny I am. I've had guys tell me, "uh, I didn't think you were THAT small", and this is after me writing on the ad that I am ONLY 4'5" tall.

 

I think if you lie about your height and weight, it usually leads to a disappointing first meeting.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

then dont online date....either way its still none of your business. if she looks 300lb and says 120 then know shes full of falsehood

[Ash]

to be honest their weight and height is none of your business........no one should be asking someoen how much they weight.....i would look at a woman kinda weird if she asked me how much i weight...and i never lied about mine, im 6'1 235 take it or leave it

 

I think I'm fully within my rights to ask somebody how much they weight or how tall they are. They're fully within their rights to tell me to screw off if they don't want to say. But if they do say, or fill out a full profile then they ought to be honest if they ever intend to meet anybody.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

why dont you just guesstimate?

 

if her boobies sag and she has a gut no need to ask shes in the 200+ range.........

 

if her profile says 120 you know she isent telling the truth

[Batya33]

I think I'm fully within my rights to ask somebody how much they weight or how tall they are. They're fully within their rights to tell me to screw off if they don't want to say. But if they do say, or fill out a full profile then they ought to be honest if they ever intend to meet anybody.

 

I don't agree. If the profile is silent about that I think it's fine to decline to meet the person but rude to ask. Just like asking a woman her cup size. Ick. I also think it's fine to be clear in your profile that you want someone who is in shape and healthy. I avoided the profiles that requested "thin" women because even though I was thin I thought it was tacky to emphasize a certain body type (and I love to eat, used to have a mild eating disorder and I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who was concerned I would put on weight -- which I don't but I don't want to me monitored).

[Batya33]

If someone was introduced to me through a friend - a set up - for a blind date - I would find it rude to ask specifically how much I weigh - I think it's fine to ask the person setting you up to "describe" the person but big deal - it's a quick coffee date or drink date - and if a person is that picky about weight that they need the precise weight (as opposed to "I am thin" or "I am fit") then blind dates or on line dating is not for them - they should meet the person in person, preferably with a portable scale ;-)

[Ash]

I don't agree. If the profile is silent about that I think it's fine to decline to meet the person but rude to ask. Just like asking a woman her cup size. Ick. I also think it's fine to be clear in your profile that you want someone who is in shape and healthy. I avoided the profiles that requested "thin" women because even though I was thin I thought it was tacky to emphasize a certain body type (and I love to eat, used to have a mild eating disorder and I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who was concerned I would put on weight -- which I don't but I don't want to me monitored).

 

Well, online dating has a lot to do with evaluating somebody's character. If a person feels they are allowed to ask personal questions, not only does that tell the asker something based on the response, it also tells the person being asked something about who is doing the asking. You reference a specific example in your case which gives you a mechanism to avoid a certain type of person so in being allowed to ask you are already narrowing your selection criteria. You didn't want to meet the person asking so it has had a valuable result. And based on that view of things, again I think it's somewhat important that people are allowed to ask whatever the heck they want because it does help portray their character, it's not a one sided thing.

 

Personally I would NOT ask about a person's weight unless I had reason to suspect what was either reported on a profile or implied did not match the truth. So, I would reserve the right to ask but would not do so thus allowing the person on the other end to either offer up the data freely, or keep it to themselves. FWIW, I don't know and never did, the weight of my ex wife (who I was with for more than a decade) or my current partner who I've been with for several years.

[Batya33]

Yes I agree it shows a lot about a person's character in the questions they ask - so when I was asked specifically for a full body shot, or asked personal questions about my intimate life on a first call I knew this wouldn't be a person I would want to introduce to friends or family. I silently thanked the person for making it so easy to screen him out.

 

If I thought someone was lying about his weight in any significant way I wouldn't ask and I wouldn't meet - same with age (that was easy to find out though on the internet in most cases or I had several friends doing on line dating who I could check in with).

 

It's not really the weight differential - I dated and was very attracted to a very overweight man - it's the lie.

 

And - I don't know how much my bf weighs (I can guesstimate if I were asked) and I don't care as long as he is healthy and his physician thinks his weight is healthy.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think it is inappropriate to ask someone how much they weigh. When I used to have an online profile, I left that part blank or just put 80 pounds. For body type I put average or proportioned. I have a Marilyn Monroe figure as opposed to present day model figure. As far as the term "fit" well, plenty of people who would be considered, by today's standards as having a "hot" body are not necessarily fit...and people who are 10 -20 pounds overweight might be more "fit" than the person who has the "hot body". I think asking about weight is misleading because some people carry their weight better than others and don't look fat. I think if a woman said she was 150 pounds...most men would assume fat...so I think the men seem to want to see 125 pounds or less....but that doesn't take into account body type and shape. Quite frankly I am turned off by men who immediately ask how much you weigh and I wouldn't give them a second look.

 

It is interesting that many men think it is acceptable to ask about the woman's weight. I think a good counter to that would be for the woman to ask what size his penis is!!!

[Batya33]

I agree with you. I once saw an ad that asked for a woman who was under 5"4 and under 110 pounds. At that time, I was just under 110 pounds. There was no way I would want to meet a person like that.

[ghost69]

it was probably her pic. but she didn't look like that anymore. sick.

[JadedStar]

I have no idea why a man or a woman would be deceptive with pics or profile descriptions. If the goal is to meet and date someone i am not sure why they do this....what good is getting MORE first dates if they don't lead to second dates? I would rather have fewer first dates that would more than likely lead to second ones...

 

To answer your question I don't know why most do this and it is not a female thing. Men do it all the time as well...they post pics when they didn't have the paunch and more hair...

 

I think, however, that any of you who online date have to factor in that this will probably happen 20% of the time. Maybe even more, I am not sure. For some reason some people will just always do it.

[Merrick]

People probably tend to fib a little when they are not comfortable with themselves. On an online dating service i don't see how that could help anyways...once you make it to meeting the other person in real life, you will know if they are expecting something else. When you show up not how you described yourself, the relationship is already doomed b/c it started with lies. (And i am just saying 'you' b/c its easier to say...not 'you' personally)

 

Everyone shoudl be upfront, big/little, short/tall, there are people out there that prefer all shapes and sizes so being truthful will only bring the right people your way.

[JadedStar]

I guess my mindset would be different. I'd be more inclined to post the pics that were middle of the road so as to not have to deal with a disappointed date!

 

I think wowing their expectations OFFline is far more important than wow''ing them ONline. ONline you want to peak their interest but you'd want the real wow'ing to come from face to face meet up. That is IMPOSSIBLE to do if you shared a pic that was far more flattering or younger than the REAL you.

 

People really do hurt their chances and themselves with these pics of them that are not accurately showing the real them now.

[Fritz The Cat]

Another pet peeve of mine is women that post glamour shots taken at the local mall. I'm interested in seeing the real woman not one made up for a special occasion. I'm sure most men feel the same.

[JadedStar]

Another pet peeve of mine is women that post glamour shots taken at the local mall. I'm interested in seeing the real woman not one made up for a special occasion. I'm sure most men feel the same.

 

To be honest those glamour shots normally don't do the women justice. I have yet to see a glamour shot that really looked better than the woman in a more natural setting. They are so unnatural looking.

[Ash]

I have no idea why a man or a woman would be deceptive with pics or profile descriptions. If the goal is to meet and date someone i am not sure why they do this....what good is getting MORE first dates if they don't lead to second dates? I would rather have fewer first dates that would more than likely lead to second ones...

 

Because they figure if they get their foot in the door enough one of those times they'll get the door all the way open. And yes, that does in fact happen every once in a while although the person who accepts them for who they are rather than the person in their profile is often giving up something they wanted, so it really isn't all that fair.