Fake diamond engagement ring

[DN]

Well Wikipedia seems to be arguing against itself here:

 

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Although the establishment of the diamond engagement ring as a standard in Western culture has been attributed to one of the most successful link removed campaigns in history, by the world's leading diamond producer link removed, in the 1940slink removed, they were already popular and diamond engagement rings were featured in many novels from the turn of the 20th century and earlier.

My parents were married during WWII as were my aunts and uncles (or before) - I am fairly sure most, if not all, of the brides had diamonds in their engagement rings . My mothers was diamonds and sapphires.

[servedcold]

I live in a traditional area where expensive engagement rings are pretty much mandatory, despite the fact that it's a fake tradition born out of clever marketing. Wish I could meet a woman like OP's fiance. Have had no luck whatsoever. I actually find the concept behind an expensive diamond ring obnoxious, like taking four head of cattle to her father to buy her away. Just another double standard many women are willing to keep at the expense of true equality. So relieved to see the enlightened attitudes of women in this thread, means there is hope this marketing born tradition will fade out eventually.

[RayKay]

It is really important here I think to distinguish between the DIAMOND engagement ring and other rings that were meant as tokens of engagement or to have people wait longer until marriage (as was done by the Pope).

 

I think this is where we are getting confused or speaking different languages!

 

Well I don't think anyone is denying they (rings) were around or diamonds for that matter, I think it is about the mass-market consumerism they did not have. It's only in recent culture the DIAMOND engagement ring has become THE engagement ring - it used to be plain bands, or other jewels if afforded - only the wealthy had diamonds.

 

And being featured in "novels" from the turn of 20th the century and earlier does not really indicate how many actually had access to them or felt they were "required" (because in many cultures they still aren't viewed this way). Novels feature lots of things that the "normal" people don't do or have access too because it is part of selling the fantasy

 

The point is they may have been around, and for some segments been "popular" or customary, but it does not mean that there was access or necessity to a great majority of the population until it began to be so promoted. It is interesting that the diamond engagement ring for females seems to hold more popularity WHERE Debeers would of been doing its marketing whereas in other countries where they did not target simple bands still hold sway, if there are bands at all...or each person in the couple wears a band - not just her.

 

 

I have family whom got married during the World Wars too (though these are grandparents, great grandparents and so forth rather than aunts and uncles!) and many did not have rings at the time simply because of 1) not being able to afford them 2) often there was a rush to get married before they went off to war and there was not much "point" in it 3) plain old resources and the mentality of conserving...it was hard enough to make a wedding dress never mind worry about getting a ring!

 

My point is...I would get married with or without a ring. I don't need to rely on some "mandatory" waiting period from the 1200s (particularly a religious one that to me is not a presense in my own life) to mean I "must" have one. Yes a ring is pretty and culturally it seems to hold some great "power" to have other women "ooh and ahh" over it and men realize you are "taken". And yes for some it is also traditional and symbolic and important. I don't deny that. I would not turn one down however as that would be turning down the proposal itself, and if I were to have one I would rather not have a diamond, or if a diamond I would rather have a "fake" (though longer lasting then cubic zirconia...ha...moissanite is really pretty (don't think the spelling is right there though!) one or man-made one.

 

Don't get me wrong, I love jewelery (though I rarely wear it except the necklace he gave me and my "never take them out" earrings); I would treasure a ring and wear it absolutely however I don't think it is "mandatory" in any shape or form. It would just be "bonus" to it.

 

To me it is far more important that he ask the question; then it come with a ring. Then we can both pick out some really nice wedding bands that suit us both and buy them for one another.

 

I would be quite upset if he spent thousands of money on something because he felt he "had too".

[DN]

It seemed that people were saying that it was only in the latter half of the last century that diamonds were used as engagement rings and that simply isn't true. They have been for centuries for those who could afford them - and as they became more affordable more people used them. It is true that de Beers hyped them and people fell for the hype but that is no different than they hyping (and falling for the hype) of designer jeans. They are no better than ordinary jeans - but they have a label that enables people to show off.

 

Some people have a need to demonstrate status - or the status of the person they become engaged to. And weddings and attendant rituals have become more and more about showing off wealth and status rather than what used to be for most people a simple ceremony celebrating two people's love for each other. So they want expensive engagement rings and diamonds are seen as expensive. They want a large wedding with all the trimmings that money can buy - sometimes spending thousands of dollars that they can ill-afford and would be better off using to buy a house in which to live with their new partner rather than going into debt for a transitory party.

 

Added to this is the controversy over the diamond cartel. I suppose it is a good thing that wedding dresses aren't made from baby seal fur.

 

Hype only works on people who want whatever it is that is being hyped.

[pos69sum]

This is a follow up:

 

So we got the ring, it does indeed look real and it fooled everybody. We went to so many holiday parties and everyone's always impressed by the ring. We announced our engagement and are planning on a June wedding.

 

But one thing happened that really made me feel bad, I guess I knew this would happen. She has to clean it every day or else it gets smudged/dirty. She has to scrub it with a toothbrush in the morning because it gets dirty throughout the day as she works as a teacher. My mom was fooled at first but when she saw the ring the other day when it was dirty she caught on to the secret. If it is a real diamond the ring is shiny even if it is dirty, she said. I guess it doesn't matter, but this made me feel really bad. I felt bad that now my mom thinks that I couldn't afford her a real ring, and that she has to make do with a fake one. This is not true, but that is what people assume. I feel like this is all due to my gf being so impatient to get married, even though it's really sweet of her to want to be married to me so much.

 

I have mixed feelings. I feel like we should've waited til we had a real ring, but on the other hand I am still very grateful that we are getting married in June. I'm still very much in love with her and cannot wait to get married.

[Mythical_Suicide]

In my experience, even a "real" diamond ring gets dirty and smudged and doesn't "shine" and you do have to keep them clean often, that is with all jewelry. That is great that your love and commitment is based just on that, the love you have for each other rather than the cost of the ring you bought her. Who cares what others think? You two are in love and happy, that is all that matters!! Congrats on the engagement

[Natty7]

She sounds smart! I would never expect my guy to spend TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS on a RING! A RING! So much more can be done with that money to further your lives, your future and your children (think how expensive their schooling will be).

 

I would never insult someone because they had a fake ring. Come on. What kind of person would? So shallow of a person that they deserve to be snubbed by you directly after the remark.

 

I think your girl has a great guy as well! Some men would just jump at the idea of saving, but you are concerned about how she will be treated and that she does deserve the best. That is so incredibly thoughtful and sweet.

 

YOU BOTH SEEM VERY LUCKY... AND WHO KNOWS~ MAYBE ON YOUR 30TH ANNIVERSARY YOU WILL HAVE SOME EXTRA MONEY THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO UPGRADE HER~

[pos69sum]

In my experience, even a "real" diamond ring gets dirty and smudged and doesn't "shine" and you do have to keep them clean often, that is with all jewelry. That is great that your love and commitment is based just on that, the love you have for each other rather than the cost of the ring you bought her. Who cares what others think? You two are in love and happy, that is all that matters!! Congrats on the engagement

 

Thanks for the support - but if that is the case then why would my mom say 'even if it is dirty it will still shine'? This is a wealthy woman with a 2 karat ring of her own, she knows jewelry. I'm sorry, I'm really down about this right now. I feel like telling my fiance 'I told you so we should have waited' - even though I'm still very much in love with her and want to get married.

 

It kills me that anyone would think that I could not afford her a real ring, which is totally not true. She was just in a hurry to get married to me. But like I said, we're getting married, I'm overjoyed about that. So in the end this will not change how I feel about her, in fact it makes me love her more.

[hueman84]

wow man, you sure have a keeper on your hands there. I wish the two of you the best of luck.

 

My ex wanted me to spend 15k+ on a engagement ring on her, we talked about marriage alot since we were together for 3.5 years...lets just say I am glad she is my ex now lol.

[Hayles]

How gorgeous are you - wanting to provide her with something so amazing... Truth be told though, I have recently been researching diamonds and simulants - and as a woman - I will never buy real diamonds again... there is so much stigma about the slave and child labour and how heavily over[riced they are - an appraiser wrote that most couple pay 40% too more than diamonds are actually worth!!!!

Keep your money and spend it on your future with her - she will appreciate that more than some stone on her finger - simulants are gorgeous, and you can't measure love by money anyway... the fact that you want to spend the rest of your days with her by far outweighs the size and cost of the ring you give her to formalise it!!!

Good luck!

[Mythical_Suicide]

Thanks for the support - but if that is the case then why would my mom say 'even if it is dirty it will still shine'? This is a wealthy woman with a 2 karat ring of her own, she knows jewelry. I'm sorry, I'm really down about this right now. I feel like telling my fiance 'I told you so we should have waited' - even though I'm still very much in love with her and want to get married.

 

It kills me that anyone would think that I could not afford her a real ring, which is totally not true. She was just in a hurry to get married to me. But like I said, we're getting married, I'm overjoyed about that. So in the end this will not change how I feel about her, in fact it makes me love her more.

 

 

I know it's hard but please don't let this get in the way of your love for each other. At the end of the day, it's the love thats there that matters the most not how much you spent on the ring. If she is happy with it, that should be the only person you need to worry about pleasing at this point not your mother, not your friends NOONE but you and your fiance. Obviously her love isn't about money or having the most expensive ring but about spending her life with you and that is the only thing that matters.

 

As for the "real" diamonds shining, yea, if you keep them clean all the time. I Have a "real" diamond ring and I am constantly having to clean it, it gets rather annoying actually especially considering the amount of money that was spent on it. On the other hand, I also have a couple of diamonique rings and really can't tell a difference with the upkeep and cleaning of them.

[mandellin]

I would never want my man to spend 10,000 on a ring! That is money that we could put in a savings account or use to take an exotic trip together or just arrange it for cash for when we decided to do something special like that or for down the road when we might start a family....I would be appaled if he spent THAT much on a ring.

 

With that being said - I would rather have something that was good quality gold not because of cost but because a ring is something very sentimenal and a good quality gold will just last longer....though really even I guess something like titanium might work. You do want to cut corners but you don't want to sacrifice quality because a ring is very sentimental.

 

I won't be upset at any ring my man gets me,really. It is just a symbol but I do hope that he thinks enough of me to make it special and something I would really like. I wouldn't even care if it was the traditional diamond. I would actually prefer something a little different...but whatever he gets me will be fine (unless it is yellow gold because I hate yellow gold). It is really about knowing your woman and her style.

 

There are some man made diamonds out there that are UNbelievable!

[ilwam]

Moissanite is very close to a diamond. I have "diamond" earrings, you'd never be able to tell the difference.

 

My mom has a 2k diamond solitaire wedding ring, and my sisters and I found out only after she died that it was a fake hehe... me and my sister would still like it to be passed to one of us when we get married!

 

Having said all that, I think a store called Brilliant Earth sells only rocks which were ethically obtained.

 

GL!

[luv2bfit]

Rings are a symbol of commitment.. I think they are VERY important and should be chosen carefully. I don't think they have to be diamond, real, gold, etc. But what they should be is best suited for the person/couple wearing them. Diamond rings are traditional sure, but I know most men still ask if she likes princess cut, round, white gold or yellow gold... Just as I think those against diamonds, should find out if they prefer a different gem (maybe a birthstone) or just a gold band alone with no stone. Anything goes, just find out what the woman likes and I'm sure you can easily find something within a budget that is reasonable and affordable. That's the wonderful thing about rings, they can fit in any budget and look any way you like. When my bf asked me what I like, white gold with a single princess cut diamond is what I like.... The rest is up to him, you can spend anywhere from $800-10,000 to find what I like

 

 

Look how pretty something like this would be for her? Not sure what style she likes.. but this is just a white gold 14k band.. with a design.. It's only $625

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[lavenderdove]

People, this thread is over 3 years old.... OP long gone.

[annie24]

but the thread lives on!!!

[jengh]

I haven't read all 7 pages so it might be mentioned... but check out diamondnexuslabs... they have man made diamonds which look 100% real. My good friend's ring is "fake". It's still technically a diamond but it cost only several hundred (and it's 2.5 carats)... I tried it on the other night...

 

The picture is dark, but you get the idea.

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What she did was get the center stone from diamondnexus and then got the setting from Jared, which had a couple of smaller diamonds to off-set it. I think, in total, it cost $1000. But, diamondnexus itself has stones in the setting already. That's what I want. I don't support the whole mined diamond industry anyways and it will be wayyy cheaper.

[jengh]

Oh hell... I fail..

 

Well, for any guys out there... maybe they'll get some use out of it.

[SapphireNoir10]

I dont see the issue with having a small diamond. You can get special 'ethical' diamonds where they guarantee that it was ethically sourced. Thats what mine is.

 

I think your gf sounds lovely, not wanting loads of money spent on it. Its so sensible.

 

And she is saying she doesnt want a diamond.

[SapphireNoir10]

Oops I only just saw how old this is!

[givinggirl]

I'm with your girl and don't really care how much the ring costs. I'm not marrying a guy to get a ring. My friend spent $15K on a ring for a girl that he never even spoke nicely about and now he's stuck with a ring that he won't get the value for. It's a waste of money, IMO. Spend the money where it matters. You can buy her a real ring later if you still feel bad after 5-10 years of marriage.