Leaving my Narcissist/Borderline husband

[JSF58]

I was married 25 years to a man who has a personality disorder, only I didn't find out until six months after I filed for divorce. As it turns out, he was diagnosed with it 11 years before!! He kept it from me and everyone else! The worst thing is, in all those years, he was running me down behind my back to our children. Parental Alienation is his favourite game. Our children are all grown, but he continues to badmouth me, giving them a choice of who to love! He makes their lives miserable if they show any affection towards me. He is a selfish and abusive man. He made my life hell.

 

He was not only emotionally abusive, but he was physically abusive as well. He hit me in my sleep, twice, giving me a black eye both times. I too saw many red flags along the way beginning within the first couple of months of our marriage. I should have left him and saved my children the pain of having a twisted father, but I thought things would get better. When I began to question his motives, the abuse became intolerable. I left him and we have been divorced for over 7 years. He is STILL to this day a hateful, horrible creature. He cannot sustain any relationships as he is a control freak (but denies this!). I remarried 5 years ago and my new husband is wonderful, kind and generous. My ex has threatened us on several occasions (he is a very jealous person). We hired a lawyer, took him to court over the harassment and won.

 

Those of you reading this, DO NOT STAY in a relationship with someone who treats you like crap! Do not make the mistake I did and hope and pray everything will work out and he'll be nice again. It will never happen. RUN!!

[CallingAllAngels]

Great post. Sorry you had to go through that. And welcome to ENA.

[QueenieLady]

Narcissist are some of the most frightening people you could ever deal with. Once they have a grasp on you, it's very hard to break free.

 

Oh my gosh sounds just like my ex husband, i'm in the process of trying to break free from being his primary source and what a 'mare it is

[mgirl]

Omg, Mel, it sounds like you have been through hell.

 

If you don't mind me asking, are you perceived as a confident, outgoing and generous person? My theory is that this is what narcissists are attracted to.

 

The rescheduling, blame game and "measuring up" bit sound so much like my ex, although my ex was a milder version. There was a little voice inside my head saying that something was wrong, and i too was swept off my feet. I was literally offended when it was suggested i "take my top off" because she wanted to be more "intimate" with me. Lol. I was repulsed, it made me feel violated. She also used to reschedule with no regard for my time and when it came to conflict, it was all about her her her, her feelings and how hurt SHE was! She used to refer to her friends and family all the time, saying how she wants to be "treated as gold".

 

Omfg, i literally felt ill reading your posts, realizing here are those people out there.

 

If you don't mind me asking, what do you think are the other symptoms of a narcissist?

 

Thank goodness you got out.