How do I stop being used and just played games with?

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, I know how that is.

 

Finally an agree on that, LoL.

 

I wish some really cute girls could be desperate and become attracted to me, though.

 

It would be so much more fun that way.

 

So far, the women I like, don't seem to be attracted to me, yet I have tons of women I'm not attracted to that are attracted to me.

 

Does that mean it evens out?

 

A lot of people I know are like that, especially in my city. I know girls who don't get the guys they like but attract those they don't like.

 

Even members of my family, try to get people they are really attractive to, yet, they only seem to attract people they are not attracted to.

 

Why is life not where, who you are attracted to, is attracted to you, or at least more of the time?

 

It can't be just me, I know tons of people in the same situation.

[Luke Skywalker]

Finally an agree on that, LoL.

 

I wish some really cute girls could be desperate and become attracted to me, though.

 

Be careful what you wish for.

 

Then you would complain that they are stringing you along (i.e. because they are desperate and have no options and just using you) until they find someone else that they are attracted to, or you find out the hard way they did something behind your back. Then you may even complain that the desperate girl was using you as an emotional tampon because she's rebounding from a relationship that went bad, lost her virginity or had sex with someone else that dumped her, or whatever...... And you know what - you would be right - because then that would be playing games with you.

 

That's why it's best not to wish certain things to happen because they can come true, and if you think its bad now, imagine if someone you are attracted to takes you on, and you really start investing emotional energies thinking there is something, when in reality you are being strung along - you'll probably hate her guts afterwards with a passion for playing with you and scape-goat her for all your bad experiences with women.

 

Believe me it's better this way. I have the same experience you have, get desperate, go with girls I'm not attracted to, they feel it, and it falls apart afterwards anyway - but sometimes it's good for the ego to know someone wants a relationship with you anyway so I'd go after people I'm not attracted to if I'm desperate enough - if it weren't for my parents holding me back.

[ghost69]

you don't want desperate. desperate usually = nuts.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah you both are right.

 

Just don't get why for so many people, the people you are attracted to, don't seem attracted to you, yet the people you aren't attracted to are attracted to you.

 

I wish life could flip-flop that.

 

Seems like life would be a little easier.

 

But that's just my opinion.

[ghost69]

Yeah you both are right.

 

Just don't get why for so many people, the people you are attracted to, don't seem attracted to you, yet the people you aren't attracted to are attracted to you.

 

I wish life could flip-flop that.

 

Seems like life would be a little easier.

 

But that's just my opinion.

 

get used to it. it happens all the time. i don't care who you are or what you look like.

[amtjrtcet]

You both are right, ghost69 and May_It_Be.

 

Here is my question.

 

Why do so many young girls and guys, at least in my city, act like they have to be nice?

 

I mean, I've met some real nice girls, who act what some call "normal", I mean they are just nice by nature.

 

Although, I am amazed at the number of girls that I see now, that just seem to be forced to be nice.

 

I mean, you know how you swear someone is being nice but it's not natural?

 

Why are so many girls and guys like this? It doesn't seem like I meet that many young girls/guys that are nice naturally, it seems to be all forced now of days.

 

 

I'm nice to just about everyone until given a reason not to be. I've always been that way. I was friends with everybody in high school. I like to make conversation with just about anybody. I like to joke around and I know I can be quite the flirt. That's just my nature.

 

As for it being forced, like Bayta said it could just be how they were raised. I live in the South and trust me, that whole 'Southern Hospitality' is a load of crap. Its fake if you ask me, and I've lived in the south all my life. People here do raise their kids to act a certain way.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, it's just one of life's funny and funky things.

 

To me, it just sometimes bums me out, but I know people it actually gets them depressed, sad, etc.

 

I can't say it's a wonderful thing. Dunno how others feel about it.

 

Luckily, I get to get some ego back from it, because normally I find reasons why I wouldn't like the girls that I was attracted to who were not attracted to me.

 

I think, boy I musta not been thinking or something, I don't even like how she does this or that.

 

It's like I get my ego back, and I think, it doesn't even matter, I got a fun life anyway. LoL.

 

It's like when those 2 girls acted stupid with me, I said, well, if they act stupid, I wouldn't want them anyway. Then I thought that boy, I'm much better off anyway.

 

I even got a nice ego boost and confidence back, when I noticed, when I ignored her, she wasn't in such a happy and giggly mood anymore. It was like, I was saying "f*** you", you annoy me and laugh at me when I tried to attract you, now I guess I stole your happiness, so now we are both out of something.

 

LoL, I'm not mean or anything, it's just I get sick of when people "steal" things from me and act stupid and treat me like I'm a no one, so it's fun if I steal something from them, especially emotions like happiness.

 

Call me mean or something, but I feel it's justice.

 

I'm just sick of girls treating me like I'm just an idiot or garbage or something, so I love to just ignore many of them that treat me stupid. It happened in High School now in College, so it's like my secret way of saying, "F*** You! and the horse you rode in on." I'm a nice guy and if they can't treat me with respect, then screw them.

 

Ladies who are nice, thank you, I appreciate you, and always will, it's just the idiot ones that I can't stand and they I feel make it worse for the honest women.

 

But same with the guys, we have a lot of idiots to. They make us all look back. LoL.

 

Anyway, I love this place and glad I can have some fun and express some opinions.

[ghost69]

this should go for anybody that treats you poorly. not just attractive women you go for.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah that is true. I just hate it, when I try to go for an attraction women, and am nice and everything, and she just acts like a goof ball or something. It kinda hurts the old ego and confidence a tad, at least for a little while.

 

Guys and Gals I'm not attracted to, don't really seem to matter to my ego or confidence.

 

I just don't get why so many young people feel they can just rule anybody and everybody's feeling and just throw them away like a piece of s***.

 

Especially if it's someone you are attracted to. I can see a no, I'm not interested. But what's with, "I'm going to act interested then say eat s*** motherf***er! Plus I will laugh at them and giggle while they try to get me." LoL. I know it may not be that dramatic but it doesn't smell like roses, it smells more like, a sewer drain clogged up.

[ghost69]

this the attitude you need with the girls you fancy. omg, can't believe i said fancy. anyways, keep that attitude and girls will want you. it builds confidence thinking this way. as if nothing can touch you.

[RedPenguin]

this the attitude you need with the girls you fancy. omg, can't believe i said fancy. anyways, keep that attitude and girls will want you. it builds confidence thinking this way. as if nothing can touch you.

 

Yeah, I think I just need to develop it for girls I'm attracted to also, because that's what mainly affects me, but then again, I always find out afterwards I probably wouldn't have liked them to begin with.

 

I think I just force attraction because I want someone and don't want to be alone forever and say I never really had a partner at all, but now that I think about it, who gives a f***.

 

I know plenty of people who had a partner and just broke up and they are crushed today. Yet, I feel great.

 

Can I help it, if they girl I want, just isn't really around or at least I haven't been able to find her? Also, does one need a partner, just because society feels being single is bad?

 

Also, like I said before, I don't know if I want or can really have a girlfriend now. It's hard without a car or real transportation, money, college, etc. It's like I'm so busy with school and buses, I feel I could hardly handle an extra thing in my life. LoL. Maybe I could, but I would feel like I was not really spending time with her then.

[ghost69]

how my attitude goes when i approach a woman:

 

-strike up a conversation

-maybe comment on something she is wearing or her eyes

-try for the phone number (i don't waste too much time with talking)

-get shut down, brush it off, or get the number

-if shut down - no sweat

-get the number - awesome

 

life goes on.

[May_It_Be]

how my attitude goes when i approach a woman:

 

-strike up a conversation

-maybe comment on something she is wearing or her eyes

-try for the phone number (i don't waste too much time with talking)

-get shut down, brush it off, or get the number

-if shut down - no sweat

-get the number - awesome

 

life goes on.

 

Until she turns out to be a desperate, clingy, uptight psycho....

[ghost69]

Until she turns out to be a desperate, clingy, uptight psycho....

 

usually can't find that out by just getting the number. if i can, no number is needed. 'bathroom break.' then don't come back.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, I see.

 

I hope next semister will be much better for me, and I will hopefully meet, attractive women who don't act like idiots. .

 

ghost69, if you want, you can talk all the silly and stupid ones, I just don't want them.

 

May_It_Be, I know you're a girl, but if for some odd reason, you want them, you can have them. Maybe to take them to a boot camp or something.

 

I'll just have to wait and see what goes on. I'm tired of girls stiking me down before I even try. To me, that's just cruel and mean, but yet, I guess I do it, when I see a girl and figure I don't find her attractive to me. But yet, I don't refuse to talk to them and laugh and giggle at them.

[ghost69]

maybe they aren't giggling at you. i don't know. just ignore the snots and stick with the hots.

[May_It_Be]

usually can't find that out by just getting the number. if i can, no number is needed. 'bathroom break.' then don't come back.

 

I meant AFTER the first or second date, and AFTER the thing looks like it might develop into something more.

[Leonhart]

maybe they aren't giggling at you. i don't know. just ignore the snots and stick with the hots.

 

lol

 

That's actually not a bad phrase.

[jenny_mcs]

I'll just have to wait and see what goes on. I'm tired of girls stiking me down before I even try. To me, that's just cruel and mean, but yet, I guess I do it, when I see a girl and figure I don't find her attractive to me. But yet, I don't refuse to talk to them and laugh and giggle at them.

 

RedPenguin- you really need to stop taking everything so personally. I've read quite a few of your posts, and you seem to think that no matter how the people around you are acting - it is directed at you. Most people, for better or for worse, are wrapped up in their own world. Every smile, giggle, look, frown, scowl, glance is not being directed at you to make you feel a certain way.

 

Relax. Try striking up a casual conversation with a girl who looks friendly. It may take doing this a lot until you feel more comfortable, the converstion become more natural, and you meet someone you have a connection with.

 

But I promise you, the vast majority of people you come in contact with on a daily basis are not purposely ignoring at you, laughing at you, or staring at you.

[ghost69]

I meant AFTER the first or second date, and AFTER the thing looks like it might develop into something more.

 

i wouldn't go on a date with a girl if we had no connection upon our initial conversation before i get the number.

[RedPenguin]

RedPenguin- you really need to stop taking everything so personally. I've read quite a few of your posts, and you seem to think that no matter how the people around you are acting - it is directed at you. Most people, for better or for worse, are wrapped up in their own world. Every smile, giggle, look, frown, scowl, glance is not being directed at you to make you feel a certain way.

 

Relax. Try striking up a casual conversation with a girl who looks friendly. It may take doing this a lot until you feel more comfortable, the converstion become more natural, and you meet someone you have a connection with.

 

But I promise you, the vast majority of people you come in contact with on a daily basis are not purposely ignoring at you, laughing at you, or staring at you.

 

Yeah that's true, just sometimes, certain girls and guys, you can tell beyond any doubt that they are being stupid. Just ask ghost69 and what I explained about these two girls I went for earlier. Just a little bit of info and he knew right away, they were the wrong girls to go for. LoL. I was amazed at first, I thought I would be told I was wrong and to go for them or something.

[RedPenguin]

maybe they aren't giggling at you. i don't know. just ignore the snots and stick with the hots.

 

I believe you are the right one in this case, because I talked to them before and tried a move or two, and neither of them pay me any attention now nor care. Even after finding out I'm a very nice guy who anyone can talk to. They only talk to me one time and it's just for information.

 

So if that isn't enough to move on, I don't care, it feels like that's enough for me. LoL. So I'm done.

 

Just clarifying that even though everything isn't directed towards me, that still some sure seems that it is. Why ignore someone every day and act stupid around them, when they are very friendly to you?

 

And besides, I didn't really like them after I got to know them anyway. They act too stupid/silly in my opinion and I swear they are stuck-up or something by how they act by seeing them class after class. Everything appears to be them, they don't seem to care about others, but then, this whole class seems to be that way. I can't explain it, but I've seen their type before.

[ghost69]

I believe you are the right one in this case, because I talked to them before and tried a move or two, and neither of them pay me any attention now nor care. Even after finding out I'm a very nice guy who anyone can talk to. They only talk to me one time and it's just for information.

 

So if that isn't enough to move on, I don't care, it feels like that's enough for me. LoL. So I'm done.

 

Just clarifying that even though everything isn't directed towards me, that still some sure seems that it is. Why ignore someone every day and act stupid around them, when they are very friendly to you?

 

sounds like they knew you had some interest in them. they started being more aloof to try and stop giving you signals.

[RedPenguin]

sounds like they knew you had some interest in them. they started being more aloof to try and stop giving you signals.

 

Oh I see what you mean.

 

That makes perfect sense. Only issue is that made it somewhat clumsy because the one kept looking at me like I was going to disappear but maybe she just wanted to ward me off. I had to laugh, how the one always acted like, "I will have no part of him" and the other acted somewhat like, "I don't know, I don't want him but yet I feel sorry" or something. She just gave off huge mixed signals. At first it was like, let's go, then it was more like "Stop in the name of nothing! (instead of the law)."

 

But I'm happy, I just talked to this one girl and she talks to me really friendly. I'm just trying now to get more comfortable around girls. She has a boyfriend but I'm just trying to chill around women. So when I get a chance, I don't feels so darn nervous and afriad.

 

I figure, if I can't find girls who are single for now, might as well at least talk to a couple, possibly become friends, then I eventully gotta run in to maybe one of their friends who are single or something, to where eventually I can find a girl, and in the mean time I will be way less nervous.

[ghost69]

ALWAYS feel free to be you and say what is on your mind. if they don't like it, too bad. it's still you. then you can never feel fake. don't be nervous man.