How do I stop being used and just played games with?

[RedPenguin]

You are right, that makes complete sense.

 

I feel I need to just trust my gut and instinct.

 

If it feels I'm not getting anywhere at all with a girl, then I need to rethink what's going on.

 

When I don't think and trust me gut is when I get in trouble or silly things.

 

I used to think by not going against my gut would be me seeking in to nervousness but actually my gut was usually telling me the correct things.

[ghost69]

You are right, that makes complete sense.

 

I feel I need to just trust my gut and instinct.

 

If it feels I'm not getting anywhere at all with a girl, then I need to rethink what's going on.

 

When I don't think and trust me gut is when I get in trouble or silly things.

 

I used to think by not going against my gut would be me seeking in to nervousness but actually my gut was usually telling me the correct things.

 

your gut is usually right. look at horrible food you would never eat. your gut tells you then. or is that your stomach? either way, it's a hurt in your belly that is like oooh.

[May_It_Be]

i wouldn't go on a date with a girl if we had no connection upon our initial conversation before i get the number.

 

I think you're not getting what I'm putting out here. I was joking that all signs might look great at the initial conversation, number exchange, and first few dates, but then, suddenly, the person might go psycho on you. They make movies about that.

 

My comment was meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Guess my sense of humor (or style of delivery) needs some improvement. LOL.

[ghost69]

I think you're not getting what I'm putting out here. I was joking that all signs might look great at the initial conversation, number exchange, and first few dates, but then, suddenly, the person might go psycho on you. They make movies about that.

 

My comment was meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Guess my sense of humor (or style of delivery) needs some improvement. LOL.

 

u drunk? i quoted RP for that response, not you. lol

[May_It_Be]

u drunk? i quoted RP for that response, not you. lol

 

LOL, no, but I kind of wish I was. No, like I said in a previous post, here, at the office, I don't have time to read through all the posts in the thread, so I often post responses before I actually get fully into the conversation.

 

Otherwise I wouldn't have time to participate at all, which would probably be a blessing for all concerned, huh? :splat:

[ghost69]

LOL, no, but I kind of wish I was. No, like I said in a previous post, here, at the office, I don't have time to read through all the posts in the thread, so I often post responses before I actually get fully into the conversation.

 

Otherwise I wouldn't have time to participate at all, which would probably be a blessing for all concerned, huh?

 

lol, ding ding. jk

[May_It_Be]

lol, ding ding. jk

 

Heh heh, I know, the world would be a much better, safer, saner environment without the dulcet (dim-witted?) murmurings of the one called May, most honored, most esteemed though she may be.

 

 

[RedPenguin]

Well all that I know is that I just like talking to women and relaxing, not worrying if they will like me or not, and if they like me and want to get to know me more then good, if not, oh well.

 

It's too stressful to find a girl that likes you and that you like.

 

I feel it's better if I just talk to some girls and get comfortable and just not care.

 

Besides, I had so much insanity with various girls, just talking to "normal" and "mature" ones would be so much easier, even if they are already taken, just to b friendly.

 

To tell you the truth, girls that have boyfriends to me always seem to be way nicer and friendlier and seem to give a s*** about how I feel and being nice to me.

 

So not to say young single women are mean, but for me, non-single around 18 seem to be way nice and friendly to talk to and don't give me nearly as many problems.

 

Maybe since they are so nice is why they are all taken, LoL.

[ghost69]

when you are interacting with a girl and she is taken of course they are usually friendly. they aren't trying to hook up. usually the single girls act rude or mean to guys they don't like or find attractive. why? they don't want to put the 'ask me out' vibe out there.

[RedPenguin]

I must not be well liked then, there are a ton of girls who are rude to me. LoL.

 

Yet some are extremely nice to me and are single but it's rare for me anyway.

 

How can I be a good guy, yet have so many rudes and girls not like me? That's kinda odd.

 

Maybe they just can't see that I'm not a bad catch. Maybe they only judge me on my appearance and that's it. Who knows.

[ghost69]

I must not be well liked then, there are a ton of girls who are rude to me. LoL.

 

Yet some are extremely nice to me and are single but it's rare for me anyway.

 

How can I be a good guy, yet have so many rudes and girls not like me? That's kinda odd.

 

Maybe they just can't see that I'm not a bad catch. Maybe they only judge me on my appearance and that's it. Who knows.

 

a lot of women are quick to judge. and in your age range it is usually on looks.

[RedPenguin]

a lot of women are quick to judge. and in your age range it is usually on looks.

 

You know, I bet you are spot dead on!

 

You know, the guys who are more quiet yet mature and are fairly good looking, yet maybe not what people would call Brad Pitts or anything, are always the ones ignored.

 

I mean, others like me, I find to be the coolest dudes. I mean, they are wonderful to hang out with, yet, we don't seem to have women going nuts over us.

 

I don't feel we are not dating material at all or anything like that.

 

I think that's why guys like me and others I like seem to have more chances of getting depressed, especially due to being ignored a lot. I feel that's why so many guys who are like me are so shut off from the world, because I think the world actually does a lot of shutting them off.

 

Why are we, not the nice doormat guys, so "undesirable?". We are not ugly or anything, we are like I said, I feel cool cats. Yet we are nothing anyone wants? Ok, if that makes sense, please let me go get my eyes pierced to get better vision. That makes about the same amount of sense to me.

 

Also, why do so many women complain that guys make their lives so hard? Apparently, it's looking like a guys life with women isn't that great either. I mean look at what us young guys have to deal with. Being judged right away, being judged on our looks, possibly getting women who cheat, get women who treat us like s***, and so much more. So why do women act "perfect"? I don't get it. I mean mainly young women. I never have issues with 30+ women.

[ghost69]

women 19-25 want the 'mtv' relationship. they want the glitz and the glamor of having the hottest guy on their arm. like there is glitz and glamor in that though. pfft. don't be so worried RP. when you get to drinking age, you will find it really easy to talk to girls.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

i..........need............10........charecters

[RedPenguin]

Then why is it, when I do let myself shine all the time, I still get shut off. LoL.

 

I seem to only get treated nice by women who are taken already.

 

The women who are single seem to act like, "who the f*** are you?"

 

LoL.

 

Like for example, these 2 girls, I just recently had a thing for.

 

It started and ended like so many other girls I tried to flirt with.

 

I talk to the girls, do something nice, then later on, they just never talk to me, and ignore me. Also, they were not shy, because the one, can talk easily as he** to other people in the room, without any problems.

 

Yet girls with boyfriends, act extremely nice to me, smile at me, etc.

 

Why don't the single girls smile at me instead, to make life a tad bit easier? LoL.

[May_It_Be]

women 19-25 want the 'mtv' relationship. they want the glitz and the glamor of having the hottest guy on their arm. like there is glitz and glamor in that though. pfft. don't be so worried RP. when you get to drinking age, you will find it really easy to talk to girls.

 

Tell me about it ... once I discovered the social lubricant that is alcohol, it changed my perspective on a LOT of things.

 

Some good, most bad, though. LOL.

[RedPenguin]

women 19-25 want the 'mtv' relationship. they want the glitz and the glamor of having the hottest guy on their arm. like there is glitz and glamor in that though. pfft. don't be so worried RP. when you get to drinking age, you will find it really easy to talk to girls.

 

I find it that life seems to more evolve around this.

 

The more "hott" guys are more taken then the other guys.

 

I'm friendly and smile at girls I find attractive, yet they either ignore me or just look at me like, "who in the f*** are you?" LoL.

 

If it doesn't matter about looks like the other poster said, why do I get ignored when I smile, as if I'm not worth smiling back at?

[ghost69]

I find it that life seems to more evolve around this.

 

The more "hott" guys are more taken then the other guys.

 

I'm friendly and smile at girls I find attractive, yet they either ignore me or just look at me like, "who in the f*** are you?" LoL.

 

If it doesn't matter about looks like the other poster said, why do I get ignored when I smile, as if I'm not worth smiling back at?

 

who knows. asparagus between the teeth, booger hangin, you aren't their physical type, etc. anything. forget those girls man.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

Then why is it, when I do let myself shine all the time, I still get shut off. LoL.

 

I seem to only get treated nice by women who are taken already.

 

The women who are single seem to act like, "who the f*** are you?"

 

LoL.

 

Like for example, these 2 girls, I just recently had a thing for.

 

It started and ended like so many other girls I tried to flirt with.

 

I talk to the girls, do something nice, then later on, they just never talk to me, and ignore me. Also, they were not shy, because the one, can talk easily as he** to other people in the room, without any problems.

 

Yet girls with boyfriends, act extremely nice to me, smile at me, etc.

 

Why don't the single girls smile at me instead, to make life a tad bit easier? LoL.

 

 

not too be mean but maybe its just you. maybe you are the one with the issues.

 

stop and look at yourself.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, maybe you are both right.

 

I just don't like college girls as much as I used to. It seems like many young girls either want the felon type of guys or guys that are "hott".

 

 

If I do have the problems, I must have a lot. I got less shy, friendlier, nicer, I smile at girls now, look at them in a flirty way, but still I get no where.

 

So does getting women just require a lot of work or something and doesn't come easy?

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

Yeah, maybe you are both right.

 

I just don't like college girls as much as I used to. It seems like many young girls either want the felon type of guys or guys that are "hott".

 

 

If I do have the problems, I must have a lot. I got less shy, friendlier, nicer, I smile at girls now, look at them in a flirty way, but still I get no where.

 

So does getting women just require a lot of work or something and doesn't come easy?

 

why dont you just focus on being their friend. thats it. focus on that and everything else will sqaure away. and even if you dont get her being friends with girls is fine. hell i love it. wasent nothing better than have a hot latin girl waving at you and you can talk too her. did me just fine.

[ghost69]

Yeah, maybe you are both right.

 

I just don't like college girls as much as I used to. It seems like many young girls either want the felon type of guys or guys that are "hott".

 

 

If I do have the problems, I must have a lot. I got less shy, friendlier, nicer, I smile at girls now, look at them in a flirty way, but still I get no where.

 

So does getting women just require a lot of work or something and doesn't come easy?

 

i wish i could tell you it was easy. it is much easier for me now than when i was your age. it takes practice to talk to women. some it comes natural. some like you, some don't. but you can only analyze so much. you need to get out there and try. take rejection as an opportunity to get better and not to put you down.

 

and don't worry about not having a gf or dating someone. then the real works is needed.

[Robinson]

Do I have to stop being nice or something I mean, I like being nice and friendly, but I can't stand being used and played games with, like girls acting like they like me, when they really don't. Seriously, I've only met one girl, my age that actually appreciated me, even though she had a bf.

 

If you say you are nice you are probably TOO nice, to a point it gets on their nerves and/or doesn't present you as the male stereotype they expect, specially at those ages.

 

No matter what girls say (cause we are talking about girls and not full made women, at that age) you'll get results if you act in a mix, between nice and hard to take. You can not be nice all the time. Sometimes you have to show YOU are also your own priority, and that you take no bs from them. This atitude will probably just make them even more interested, when they already are.

 

Imagine this: one day you are a sweet caring guy, showing full interest on her and helping her. The next day, WITH reason for such (you normally don't have to wait long, you just have to be aware and alert to those signs of her jumping on your back taking you for the nice type), you are colder and more distant, or you are simply into something else and not 100% available for her needs. Chances are the "girl" (once again, important detail) will be puzzled by this and miss the caring guy. If you are tender every day, you are not special. Only things that don't happen everytime are special, and that goes for everything in life I believe.

 

PS - don't take me as the wise guy lecturing you, a few years ago I was EXACLY like you describe yourself.

[RedPenguin]

Young girls are funny, in High School, they treated me like trash, yet, now many I run in to now, treat me extremely nice, like I was always their friend or something.

 

Why do people treat you like garbage one minute then the next, like you are so great?

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

Young girls are funny, in High School, they treated me like trash, yet, now many I run in to now, treat me extremely nice, like I was always their friend or something.

 

Why do people treat you like garbage one minute then the next, like you are so great?

 

high school is about reputation

 

 

once they get in the real world i.e college, they change beacuse a rep means nothing.

 

and your thinking too much about things that dont matter.