Is this the right conv or a bad conv to speak to a girl or 2 girls?

[RedPenguin]

As I have stated before, I have two girls, that I am going to talk to in my class on Tuesday about 15 minutes before class.

 

I figured I would start out easily like, "Do you know if the teacher said this was due today or Thursday?" Then I figured, I would be like, it only needed this and that right?

 

Then I figured I would just ask them if they both go to my college or if they are students from another college.

 

Then I figured I would ask them if they like this class or if they don't, then be like, I had a friend who hated this class.

 

Then I figured, I could be like, "You both seem like really nice girls, would you mind exchanging emails or IM screennames?"

 

I thought against phone, because the phone is my house, is constantly used by the person I'm living with, and it's so busy, I could barely use it to even call them.

 

I figured this conversation would be good, I just didn't want to look desperate or ask for their info way too fast and mess it up, LoL.

[JeckyllNHyde]

The convo ideas are good, but you seem to be planning things a bit TOO much.

I know your nervous about not being able to continue a convo but this isn't a class presentation where you need to remember all the lines. These are just 2 girls your speaking to... Have a bit more confidence in yourself and trust your abilities to hold up a convo.

Your basically planning convo's with girls 3 days ahead just to get their e-mails. In a way I am tempted to say it is ok to do it since you are nervous and all, but onthe other I think it really shouldn't be planned.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah that's what I figured. You are right.

[JeckyllNHyde]

 

Yea cuz like you seeem to have alot to say on here so I am sure in person you DO have it in you to hold conversations up and just be your natural old self. By planning it sort of takes too much time and effort for no reason and then what if you forget you lines? Haha.

 

Best of luck..

 

Oh and I too was in your situation though, of trying to plan a convo. I had a meeting with a guy I had been chatting to but then came the time to meet face to face. This was just day before yesterday actually. And the night before, I was sooooooooo nervous, and I kept trying to picture the scenario and especially tried to think of stuff to talk about with him. I was afraid I might sort of freeze up or just have nothing to say.

But then we met, and on that day it was all so hectic and I was late so I had no time to plan anything. But it all turned out better then good. I just underestimated myself and my abilities to hold up conversations with so many other people. It happens sometimes... We just picture the worst.

[RedPenguin]

That's what I thought, don't ask them for their emails at first.

 

I wanted to just ask them later on, even though it's nervous to keep starting a convo.

 

I think though once I start the first conv, all will be good. I think I will no longer be nervous to talk to them, especially if they are really nice and willing to talk to me.

 

I think the way she looks at me, she is wanting me to talk to her. I mean, I can't say for certain, but something in my gut, just says, she wants me to talk to her. (The one girl, that I feel I am attracted to more).

 

I wonder if she gets much attention, because in class, her and her friend always appear so shy and almost always only talk with each other, and hardly ever talk in class, and when the one in class did talk, one guy looked back at her, saying, "You actually talk", someone who knows them.

 

EDIT: Only thing that gets me, is I don't know what I will really talk to them about next class or whatever, I mean, so far this is really the only real thing there is to talk about.

[Lana0120]

I agree. Not bad ideas, but too much planning. It's fine to have a phrase to start things off, but then you should play it by ear, otherwise it will sound like you practiced it and won't sound entirely genuine.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, I think I just need to get out of my High School thinking, that anyone I talk to will not like me, which for dumb reasons, was mainly true in High School.

 

Should I just continue to talk to them for a while then eventually before the end of class, get their contact info, so that it's not like my other classes, where I never see them again?

[Raiden]

I agree with everyone else. Red, you're putting waaaaaay too much planning into this.

 

I think it's good to have some idea about what to talk about before the event/day, Lord knows I should probably think about this more myself, but don't go mapping it out like a strategic military operation

[RedPenguin]

HeHe, yeah, I know what you mean. I guess most things, I'm used to planning out, so that's probably why.

 

I never actually talked to a girl, without her asking me something first anything or initiating the conversation.

 

I think all will go well though. I don't know how the one girl will act, but I believe the one I really am attracted to will be fine with me talking to her.

 

The one, I can't explain it, and I know I can't judge without knowing her, but it's like she gives off signals, like she doesn't really care for me, but her friend seems to give the opposite signals that she is more attracted to me and more willing to give me a chance.

 

I think I got the feeling, because many times when I look at the girl I like more, she actually smiles and things like that, but the other never does anything, just gives a face of like no expression at all. LoL.

[RedPenguin]

See what I think it is, is, that I don't really want it completely planned out, but for me, preparing myself to speak or start a conversation, especially with someone/someones that I am attracted to, really helps.

 

I know it's just asking basic and simple questions, but it still means something to me.

 

It's like I'm telling myself, Adam, I don't give a s***, what your OCD is telling you, your fears, your anxiety, or anything else is saying, you WILL talk to those girls. Adam, I don't care if you just ask her something as simple as, do they like the class or not, you WILL talk to them.

 

It really helps me, even if it may sound somewhat silly, LoL.

 

EDIT: You know, I think that if I can remain as relaxed as I am now, I think I will have no problems taking to them.

 

Why is it, that part of your brain, the common sense one, says, "Don't worry, nothing bad will happen. Chance are with the way these girls have been behaving and what you've witnessed so far, they will be very nice to you." then you have that part that says, "They will hate you, they will be nice to everyone else but you, they already hate you and can't stand you."

 

It's like many times, which I can't, since it's not a person, I wish I could just shoot the negative guy. LoL.

 

EDIT 2: A starting conversation, doesn't really have to be any special length right? I mean, it's like we have to talk for 60+ minutes right? LoL. My first conversation may only be like 5 minutes or something LoL.

[Phaser]

Agree with what everyone says.

Don't plan what you say, but rather what you will talk about.

 

Also yes asking for their email is too soon in the convo.

At the end of the class ask them.

[Leonhart]

The convo ideas are good, but you seem to be planning things a bit TOO much.

I know your nervous about not being able to continue a convo but this isn't a class presentation where you need to remember all the lines. These are just 2 girls your speaking to... Have a bit more confidence in yourself and trust your abilities to hold up a convo.

Your basically planning convo's with girls 3 days ahead just to get their e-mails. In a way I am tempted to say it is ok to do it since you are nervous and all, but onthe other I think it really shouldn't be planned.

 

I agree.

 

It's nice to have a rough idea of what you're going to say, but I think you're planning ahead a little too much. There's nothing wrong with asking for their emails (or numbers) right away, if you're establishing good rapport, but ease up on the word-for-word script.

 

You're a 'J' type... on the Myers Briggs, aren't you? lol (J types plan a lot before they do anything, BTW.)

[RedPenguin]

Agree with what everyone says.

Don't plan what you say, but rather what you will talk about.

 

Also yes asking for their email is too soon in the convo.

At the end of the class ask them.

 

Just so I completely understand what you mean,

 

The end of that class or the end end of class?

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

why do you need too plan a convo?

 

just walk up say hello and talk about whatever is going on...........no planning required........

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, that's what I figured and see now, it's just before my mind was so nervous, but now I am way less nervous about it.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

Yeah, that's what I figured and see now, it's just before my mind was so nervous, but now I am way less nervous about it.

 

well great for you

 

we have fresh baked lemonade and freshly squeezed cookies for you and your less nervousness

 

 

 

(they need too improve the smily limit)

[RedPenguin]

HaHa with the smiley limit.

 

I know the one girl will be able to talk to, is very nice and acts really nice when she says something to me, so that makes me even less nervous.

 

The other girl, since they are both really close friends is probably nice too, but I don't know for a fact.

[boo121]

I used to do this a lot. I went through a stage where i would try to plan out conversations with this 1 girl who i had a oneitis with. It sabotaged me in a way, because i would never approach her. So i thought, who cares what she thinks, I'm going to say something that could completely ruin my chances with her and walk away and not care about it. I think i said something like "hey baby, why don't you and me get down and dirty" She laughed her ass off and left. Don't think i saw her again lol, but i don't care. It helped me get over this (she is the one and only) mentality that was screwing up my chances with girls.

 

You could try this... or ask them those questions u came up with in ur original post. Just go for it, if you don't get the response you're looking for who cares... you are still doing your own thing.

[RedPenguin]

HaHa, I don't want to scare her away, I want to at least be friends, cause I am attracted to her, but since I never went for a girl before, I don't know for a fact if it's girlfriend attraction or just friend attraction. I do believe I do want to get to know her more before we would ever become boyfriend and girlfriend if she did want that.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, I can't wait until the first convo.

 

I just hope all is setup right. The parts that I can't plan. Like if they get there early and we can talk, cause obvious we can't talk during class and be rude, LoL.

 

I'm fairly sure they will, out of many classes, they've only been not-early one time.

[ghost69]

don't ask if they are from another college. not many people do go to multiple colleges and just seems like an odd question to me.

 

i'd just say 'so you guys taking a lot of classes here?'

 

let them respond blah blah

 

'yeah, i'm studying for ____. you?'

 

let them respond blah blah

 

and don't go overboard with trying to make them laugh. let them respond to your questions and responses. it is a conversation, not a script for a musical.