Am I just over-reacting to something my friend said?

[bsp_kjm]

My female friend of 3 years had called me about two weeks ago (as she usually does every other day or so) and we were chatting about the normal things. Then out of the blue, she says to me (verbatim), "Don't take this up the butt, but if you weren't such a funny guy, I would have never began talking to you those couple years back. To be honest, you are really ugly." At first, I thought she was just kidding around and laughed, but she came back with, "I'm trying to be serious, because you are my friend. You are just really unattractive." I didn't really know what to say, so I just told her to shove off and I hung up.

 

I know I'm not that great looking and I have decent self-esteem...but damn it doesn't help to hear something like that from someone you consider a friend.

 

She's called me every day since (I have cut all contact with her), leaving me voice mails stating that I'm over-reacting and that she was just "being truthful" with me.

 

Am I over-reacting about what she said? Do I have a right to be hurt? What kind of friend says something like that?

[agent1607307371]

I think you have every right to be upset about that.

 

She was cruel and insensitive. There's "being truthful" and then there's being overly blunt and callous.

[lizer]

holy crap! no you are not over reacting! what a nasty thing to say to anyone! more less someone you are friends with. that makes no sense at all how someone could say that so candidly and not think about how mean it is.

i can tell you that you are better looking than she is with a mouth like that.

she doesnt deserve friends if she treats them that way. and especially not you. do not answer her calls or any other forms of communication. she is horribly rotten. im still baffled how anyone could say that. and for what purpose? have you been coming onto her? maybe she felt the need to defend herself from you pursuing her. she is obviously so seriously lacking self esteem. rotten. rotten girl.

[Mavh25]

She sounds very over the top vicious, a friend just does'nt do that. You're doing good ignoring her. Do you really want someone like that around you? Just unnecessary and cruel.

[angelmaria]

I agree with the other people who posted...friends would never say anything to intentionally harm a friend. That is just rude and i can't believe someone would ever say such a thing! She may not find you attractive, but you may be someone else's Brad Pitt!

 

I can tell already that she is a horrible, ugly person...personality goes for a lot and she is just plain nasty...she will live a long and lonely life with that attitude...definitley not a good friend so try to shake it off and be glad you came to realize the real person she is!!!

[bsp_kjm]

have you been coming onto her? maybe she felt the need to defend herself from you pursuing her.

no, i have never "come onto" her. I haven't even seen her in person for at least 2 months. our usual phone conversations are just about our daily observations.

 

well im glad to read i am not over reacting... thank you all for your time

[Pocket Rocket]

You have every right to be upset with her, it deoesn't matter what you look like, unless she had some constructive criticism to share, she was wrong for saying that. It was pretty hurtful, and the fact that she isn't apologising and making it look like it's your problem not hers, doesn't look good either.

[DN]

I would scratch this girl off your Christmas card list. Permanently.

[sddeaston]

She is just one of those women who want to feel powerful or have power over someone or over situations. Ignore it and get a new friend to replace her. Jeez. What a stupid statement to make to a "friend".

 

I would have came back with, "I never would have talked to you a few years back if your body didn't make me forget how much you lack between the ears". ha, whether its true or not.

[mademoiselle]

Mate, that's not overreacting. I'm almost tempted to say that you're underraacting. I think that you should leave a message on her phone telling her that you want a break from her and her self-righteousness, and would appreciate if if she stopped calling you until you call her back. Tell her that just because you're good friends doesn't give her the right to tell you that you're unnattractive and then take up the position that you are the one overreacting. Even family shouldn't say that to each other unless they have constructive criticism to offer.

[bsp_kjm]

I would have came back with, "I never would have talked to you a few years back if your body didn't make me forget how much you lack between the ears". ha, whether its true or not.

lol she would have probably taken that as a compliment.

 

thank you all for your replies.

 

I believe I am going to tell her to stop contacting me and let her know how hurtful it was. Just gotta think of a good way

[crookster_man]

LOL! Is this person for real? Honestly, is this friend of yours prone to acts of stupidity? Because that was pretty weak.

 

Is this person a close good friend? Is she going to put out? If the answer is no to both questions I would do what you are doing. We are surrounded by retards all day. No point in letting them into your inner circle.

 

Wow, honestly! I hope there is more to the story then this because you really might want to take a look at your choice in friends!

[bsp_kjm]

she definitely doesn't look like Miss SC, but sounds just like her. seriously though, she isn't the brightest crayon in the box but she was fun to talk to.

[Altruist]

You're not overeacting at all. I would have dismissed it as a slip of the tongue but the fact that up to now she fshows no remorse and has the cheek to go on and say "I was being truthful" shows that she is probably heartless.

[bsp_kjm]

lil update for anyone interested... well she called me today a couple times and left a voicemail apologizing for what she said and that she didn't mean to hurt my feelings. She said it was "all in fun and games." I decided to finally pick up one of her calls and I sort of went off on her. I was already in a bad mood due to work, so it didn't help to be getting repeated calls from her. Anyways, I said some pretty harsh stuff to her (which isn't normally my character) and she got mad. She then apologized again and asked if we could talk on a regular basis again, and I just told her I'd rather not. She said she really cared about me as a friend but I just told her I had to go. End of call.

 

I feel bad ripping into her like that, but I just dont feel like her apology was sincere. I think she just did it to get the guilt off her shoulders...

[Lana0120]

You have a right to be hurt. It was a back-handed compliment - you have a great personality, but it's one that falls flat. Besides, what's ugly to one person, isn't necessarily ugly to another person. Friends are meant to build you up, be honest about unpleasant things (CONSTRUCTIVE things, e.g. you have spinach on your teeth) but a blanket statement like 'you're ugly' is appalling. She doesn't sound like a great friend at all. In conclusion, I think your response is justified. I don't think you'll ever feel the same way about this person again, so there's not much point in hanging out anymore. *hugs*

[Postive-Aura]

OMFG and ive read it all now , i would have smacked her right in the face or even better let myh evil side (hahahaha) hatch a plan that would leave her stranded in the forest without anything , take her on a hiking trip and donate her to the Lions sheeesh what a itch .