annie24 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 well, maybe in her mind, these guys only want to be friends, but I think everyone else knows, that a guy doesn't approach a woman in a bar and asks her for her number so that they can watch the superbowl together. is she clear about her intentions - like, "sure, we can meet and have lunch sometime, but i want you to know that i have a very serious boyfriend and I love him to pieces and would never leave him." i have a feeling like she may not "mention" the boyfriend. Link to comment
i_love_chocolate Posted June 6, 2007 Author Share Posted June 6, 2007 Yeah she tells them that she has a bf and they say it's ok but I don't buy it. But her argument is, which is hard to fight, is that even if those guys want to get into her pants she won't let them. How can I argue this? I mean, even guys she meets through friends or at school or anywhere want to get into her pants (she's very hot so I know that). So if my argument is "those guys just want to get into your pants" she would respond by saying "well you also tell me that all single guys want to get into my pants so why does it matter where I meet them?" Now how can I respond to that? Link to comment
i_love_chocolate Posted June 6, 2007 Author Share Posted June 6, 2007 Zack, The reason why she still wants to follow through is to be "friends" and she doesn't care if their intention is more since she won't allow it. Hard to fight this one. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 Yeah she tells them that she has a bf and they say it's ok but I don't buy it. But her argument is, which is hard to fight, is that even if those guys want to get into her pants she won't let them. How can I argue this? I mean, even guys she meets through friends or at school or anywhere want to get into her pants (she's very hot so I know that). So if my argument is "those guys just want to get into your pants" she would respond by saying "well you also tell me that all single guys want to get into my pants so why does it matter where I meet them?" Now how can I respond to that? lol, maybe you should start dating an unattractive woman? i guess it comes down to trust. if you don't trust her, then you shouldn't be with her. Link to comment
i_love_chocolate Posted June 6, 2007 Author Share Posted June 6, 2007 Yes I do trust her and I know she won't fool around with these guys but it still bothers me. Don't ask me why coz that's what I'm trying to ask you Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 well, I don't know - i guess you have to go with your gut feel. i dated a guy once who just didn't know (or didn't want to) tell other women who were coming onto him to go away. I finally got sick of that and broke up with him. just my viewpoint. I could never handle dating brad pitt or george clooney or their equivalents just because I would get so sick of women throwing themselves at them ALL THE TIME. ug. it's times like that that the dork with the acne problem starts to look pretty darned good! Link to comment
i_love_chocolate Posted June 6, 2007 Author Share Posted June 6, 2007 Yeah it's pretty hard dating a good looking person. Every time I go out with her, guys AND girls check her out. It doesn't bother me because I know I would check her out if I saw her in the street. I just don't feel comfortable when she is friendly with single guys who she knows (or if not, I tell her) that they're trying to be more than friends with her. I just hate having those guys hanging around her. You know what I mean? Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 well, you know, you can't control other people's looking and checking out your gf, you can only control your own emotions. how is the relationship otherwise? Link to comment
i_love_chocolate Posted June 6, 2007 Author Share Posted June 6, 2007 I'm not worried about ppl checking her out. I really don't. I just said that to let you know that she's hot and no single guy would only wanna be friends. Our relationship is very very very complicated. I don't wanna open that subject here because it would change the subject but you should rest assured that she loves me to death. My question was when is it ok for your gf to give our her phone number or hang out with guys? Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 ah, I understand what you are saying. do you understand why I asked you that question? Link to comment
TANKGRL Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 First off I couldn't ever do this to my boyfriend, I think it's cheating and very, very disrespectful!! If he did it to me I'd smack him lol. Plus we are never separated, we never go out without each other. It's just the way we are and we like it Link to comment
Siriana Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 Her behaviour is innapropriate. Don't buy that crap she's doing. I desperately want a chocolate cake right now.image removed...................... Link to comment
i_love_chocolate Posted June 6, 2007 Author Share Posted June 6, 2007 Too bad I'm out of flour no more chocolate cake! OK well back to the subject. If I tell her that you can't meet guys in clubs, train, parties and any random setting then how would she have any friends? Almost ALL her friends are guys because it's easier for her to make guy friends because of her good looks. Let's see. Guy friend A she dated him for a week and then got back with her ex. Guy friend B she met him when she worked in a bookstore. He talked to her and asked her for lunch during her lunch break. However, guy B tried to make a move when he heard that she broke up with her ex. Guy C is her ex-bf. Guy D has a crush on her (he always comes to the restaurant where she works) and he asked her out but she told him that she had a bf but they still go out as "friends". Do you see a trend? All her guy friends either made a move or she had a relationship with. However, Guy A and B are really good friends of her now so that's how she uses this as her supporting argument. If I told her not to meet guys randomly then I'm basically telling her that you can't have friends. Any time I tell her that I can't hang out tonight, she calls up one of the guy friends she has. That's all the friends she has. Her best girlfriend is in a different city so they never hang out really. What do you think? Link to comment
TANKGRL Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 It sounds like she's untrust worthy. She's meeting all these guys for possible hook ups or has already hooked up with them...........not good.! I'd move on. Link to comment
Siriana Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 I think she acts stupid and that you can't ask her to act differently. The only thing you can do is leave, in case her behaviour goes against your values and is not up to your standards. I think it's very sad she refuses to accept the fact she's leading guys on by giving them her number while having bf and enjoyes the feeling of excitment that her innapropraite flirting is giving her. Guys don't go to bars to find female friends. PERIOD. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 Question to all ENAers, Would you be ok with your gf going to a nightclub, dancing with other guys and giving out her phone number? What if you trust her and know that even if the guys call her and go out with her that she would only be friends with them? This question goes the other way around too. I had this discussion with my gf. I know for a fact that she would only be friends with them but for some reason (deep deep down) it bothers me. Hell no and double hell no. These guys aren't looking for a friend, they are looking to get laid. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 These are not friends - these are potential suitors. They are hanging around waiting for you two to break up. This girl is taking you for a ride. I can't think of any guy who would put up with this. Not saying that men and women can't be friends but there are some boundries and guidelines to it. I see it as the following: 1.) ex's who have definitely moved on and enough time has passed 2.) old childhood friends/nieghbors/family friends whatever 3.) business/career/good-contact friends 4.) gay guys Guys she meets in a club or in a cafe, train or walking down the street - NO WAY!!!! Link to comment
TANKGRL Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 I an SOOOOOO craving Chocolate cake and It's that time of the month...so I can smell the friggin cake lol Sorry had to get that outta me I do think she is taking you along for a ride. Guys don't go to bars to meet new best friends..... they are looking for one night stands or a booty call. I'd either break up with her or keep an eye on her the whole time.... actually screw that!! She's wasting your time flirting with other guys and giving her number out(HELLO THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL, big RED FLAG HERE!!!!). If I ever did this to my bf he's kick my ass out! Link to comment
DeeTeeCee Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 yeah i think it's apparent that everyone actually agrees that this is unacceptable behavior. Tankgirl makes a good point of this being a giant RED FLAG waving in front of you, take note of it now and take action, otherwise it'll just be one of those things you regret overlooking later on. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 Well, I know you don't want to go "off topic" but I did read your previous posts about your relationship and I can certainly see why you find this behavior disconcerting. her behavior certainly raises red flags for all of us here. So, I guess your next step is to figure out what to do about it. You can stay or go. You can't really command her to do anything. And she isn't even your wife, so technically she is still single and on the market, in one way. so, I guess she is just keeping all her options open, by talking to these guys. At least, that's the way I see it. Link to comment
DeeTeeCee Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 yeah it is up to you. but to throw my 2 cents in again, to me personally i don't see her as someone who's ready to be in a committed relationship. i would drop her like 8th grade history if i were ever in this situation again. Link to comment
Paradigm1607307567 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 ....I don't think grinding with other men is acceptable but if she is just dancing with friends and having a good time, okay. So it is okay for a man's gf to come in contact with another man's genitals (grinding) as long as they are just dancing as friends? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 I have been really confused about this subject. I mean, when is it normal for a girl to give out her phone number? If it's not ok in a club, then would it be ok with a guy she met on the train who talked to her? What is considered ok? I give out my number in business settings and where we have an interest in common and he knows I have a serious bf. I would not be comfortable at all with my bf going to a club without me, dancing with women he just met and getting their phone numbers "as friends." He would never do that, and neither would I. For all the reasons already said on this thread. It's inappropriate. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 Question to all ENAers, Would you be ok with your gf going to a nightclub, dancing with other guys and giving out her phone number? What if you trust her and know that even if the guys call her and go out with her that she would only be friends with them? This question goes the other way around too. I had this discussion with my gf. I know for a fact that she would only be friends with them but for some reason (deep deep down) it bothers me. NO I WOULD NOT BE OK WITH IT!! I AM A FIRM BELIEVER THAT ONCE YOU ARE IN A SERIOUS RELATIOSHIP YOU SHOULD NOT BE MAKING ANY NEW "FRIENDS" OF THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT YOU TALK TO ON THE PHONE OR GO OUT WITH. JUST NOT A GOOD IDEA. THAT WOULD BE A DEAL BREAKER FOR ME Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 You can call me jealous or say I'd be over reacting all you want, but I'd go crazy ready-to-beat-someone's-a** if I found my guy dancing with another woman Link to comment
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