smackie9

Mental illness and substance abuse go hand in hand. He lacks proper coping skills, so he uses alcohol and gives abuse to cope with his demons. You staying with him only enables his issues. He holds you hostage emotionally. You already offered help, many many times. He still won't take it. The next step is to leave.

So she was all you have ever known and the unknown when she's gone scares you. I get it, it's life changing. I assure you, you will get through it and grow as a better person. You will meet someone that will blow your mind because she wants what you want. It will happen.

If you want to change your behavior then make changes in your life instead of turning to an addictive activity. Counseling is what you both need right now.

I hate to say this but, she wants out, it's that financially she can't, so she puts on a charade that she doesn't know what she wants...be friendly with you as you don't kick her out. She does know what she wants...she just discovered how difficult it is to make this happen. If she came into some money, she be down the road already. So as she sits there in the house, sleeping in your bed, she's weighing her options, and biding her time. It take two to repair a marriage...she's not a willing participant so what do you really have? Me personally wouldn't lift a finger, that she can figure this out on her own. In the meantime contact a lawyer. It's tough, and very sad. Take time out for yourself, and take care of YOU and the kids.

I worked with someone that had been dating with their SO since they were 12. They split up at around age 21 for a few months. Not sure if they checked out to see if the grass was greener on the other side, but, they ended up missing each other terribly. It's now 5 years later... they are happily married with two children.

It sounds to me you have never known yourself, who you truly are and can be...that your whole identity is this relationship..that's why you feel trapped/feeling of no worth because this is all you know.

You have had 11 years of practice to be very open and frank with your partner in how things make you feel...now is the time to start. If you can't then don't get married because in order for a marriage to work, you need good communication. Your feelings are valid, so express them to him.

I think we told you her giving books were not "gifts" that it's just a coworker getting rid of some books that she thought you might like out of kindness. The thing is, it's never a good idea to they and date people you work with. It can turn into an awkward situation, and her avoiding you. Just enjoy the friendship.

There will be growing pains/adjustment to any type of living arrangement. So set some boundaries. Compromise and communication. It's just that easy.

I play a huge Multiplayer game too. My friend compared it to crack. Your wife's situation is on the realm of addiction induced by boredom. As soon as you try to take that away, they cheat, deny and lie to keep it. She has a problem. I strongly recommend the both of you to stop playing and spend real time to do real things together. That's the only way to get the emotional connection back. Also it takes two to repair a relationship. If she isn't willing, you have nothing to work with.

Good for you sticking to your guns! Hope life gets better for you.

Yup the writing is on the wall..there isn't must left to hang onto. Dream job, travel abroad? You only live once. Go and be free.

If you notice it's the same attractive blonde girl featured in most of the photos.

hah and probably to their dismay, most of the customers are old /saggy hoping to see hot buff women....but there won't be any. We have a nudest beach in Vancouver called Wreck beach. There ain't no hot Brazilian type babes there though you can see guys out on the water with binoculars lol.

hah we have Mugs and Jugs here but it's a peeler bar.

She's really good at her job.

I think you approached him incorrectly. Asking him if he wants to be single, or who does he have his eye on are trap questions...guys avoid those at all costs. You need to get right to the point and ask if he wants to continue this relationship. If he says yes, then you point out all the things that he's is doing that says otherwise and you don't believe him. Then you can tell him your expectations. If he isn't willing to fulfill them by a certain timeline, then what's the point? TBH I think he's trying to push you out, and you leave on your own which is a cowards way out. Best of luck in your course of action.

Take up gaming.

You are at the depression stage...you are almost there. One small positive thing that is coming your way will give you that uptick in the start of you getting out of this. Time to stop looking back, and face forward.

One thing I noticed some dating sites like eharmoney have it set that men can look for 11 years younger while for women it's only 5 to 7. I can see why some would choose to change their age to get younger prospects offered.

She's just one of those girls who expects the guy to take the lead all the time. If this ain't your thing, and like it when they reciprocate, then it's obvious you two are not compatible.

She's at a different stage in her life, she's barely an adult and you wouldn't have very much in common. For example she goes to her friends frat party and brings you with her....a 35 year old guy trying to hang out with her 20- 21 year old friends, beer bong, immature drunkenness. You will complain how much time she's on her phone during dinner dates, how she stays out all night, going to clubs, dancing with other guys, etc.

You have to grieve the loss of your relationship. Time, you just need some time to work through your grief. In a few weeks you will start to feel a little better. We all have been through it, and you have been through it so you know one door closes, another one opens. The silver lining in this is that she decided to leave before things went too far, and didn't get married. I agree this is a blessing in disguise. Sorry for your loss...hope you find peace soon.

OK so you addressed it with her. If you don't see any real change then you may have to consider you are not compatible. Some people are ok with seeing someone once a week/sporadically, then there are other like yourself that feel more intimacy through texting and seeing each other regularly. I'm like you, I like regular contact that has flirting, etc, and see each other 3 to 4 times a week. One guy I dated was happy with once a week...I dumped him after 3 weeks of that. I couldn't do it.

It doesn't have to be money they are after...but a green card. If it's too good to be true, most likely it is. The love bombing on her end is concerning. have you not watched the news about the huge immigration from South America? that should tell you something.