smackie9

He has no self control, and lies. I agree he only thinks about himself and not how it affects others. Hey it's up to you if you believe in him.

Turn the tables, and start commenting on guys you saw, etc. See how that flies with him.

Sorry but you shouldn't. Why torture yourself with all these struggles. Getting the guy to have any kind of emotion is like pulling hens teeth. You are sounding a little desperate and you need to take a step back on what you are asking. He may say sweet nothings, but it's all hot air. You are not compatible, nor does this guy fulfills any real expectations of how you like to interact with a man. He's a cold fish...yuck. You can do way better than this. on a side note, stop drinking...it makes you an emotional mess, and have no filter. That's a lack of control. You need every bit of sober to think clearly on your decision making on what you say. It's a good thing the drinking is something you do not do on a regular basis.

OP put yourself in her shoes....you would be doing the same thing. And btw your MM is lying to you. He doesn't hate her and things are not as bad as he is saying....because that's what they all do to get sympathy and you on their side to have an affair....making it seem justifiable. It's typical. He's lying to you, and he's lying to her. make it stop? stop seeing him and that will quickly clear things up.

I know you like him....you have had plenty of patience but this is getting out of hand. You need to put your foot down. Tell him he needs to grow a set and tell her everything....and to no bother calling you until it's done.

If they give you excuses, it's a no not interested. Stop pushing, and move on. lets face it...if they are interested, they show it. right?

Put on one of those nice dresses and some fragrance, then flirt a little....see if that is enough to signal him to ask you out.

That's not what the song is about lol.

I'm a manager and do text coworkers after hours about other stuff/gossip/some personal things but no heart emojis here. It would be too weird. But a yellow heart I would take it as friendship thing. People bond with their coworkers because you work as a team, and see them all day. Some sarcastic type flirting, arm punching, ribbing/teasing like junior high does take place because you all are so comfortable with each other. I have had plenty of work husbands over the years...not in a sexual manner of course but same manner of bickering like we are married. I wouldn't sweat it.

If you have become her magic man of course she's going to want it all the time duh. She's been very thirsty for a long time. Obviously your parts fit together just right. I think you should have a conversation with her about your past issues, and that too much can stop making it special, that you would like to hold off a few days, so it will heighten the experience. Sounds like you have gotten to the point now that you need more emotional connection, but not through sex. Emotional connection through spending time together doing activities, hobbies, etc. If she understands this she will know this has nothing to do with physical attraction, that you need more than that. I notice there has been some ribbing in the comments, that there must be something wrong with you. IMO everyone is different in their wants and needs in building intimacy. You just have to explain yours more clearly to your GF.

I don't know why you think "I want to get to know you more" is some cryptic message. She doesn't know you all that well yet and she's not going to "assume" what you are looking for. In most women's minds, talk is cheap, actions speak volumes. Go out on dates and spend time getting to know her outside the bedroom. Pretty simple.

If you don't trust him, you must trust her no? Nothing can happen unless she follows suit. If acts he like a total idiot and steps out of bounds, would she not reject him and tell you? Then it would mean she did you a favor and have every reason to dump him because you now see the kind of person he is. Does any of that make sense?

When she's out on one for her dates, you move your stuff out and into storage, get a hotel, and leave her on her own to fend for herself. I'm sure she will have np finding a place to live. So many willing men on her app will lend a hand.

And that's a bad thing?

I was joking.......

They are like having a dog... a place to sleep, food and a quiet area to take a dump.

Here's your answer....it's a no brainer any one that has better access to someone else is going to go with them. He reached out and now they are hitting it off. She said she would cut him off but hasn't. You are being a damn fool. They are in cahoots with each other.

I know someone who's in the same boat. If he gets properly diagnosed, he can probably go on disability. It may not be a lot but it's some income. Suggestion to work on: Since Covid, the needs of both the worker and employer has changed and adapted. There is more opportunity for people like him that can be productive and make a living working from home. Something to look into.

Maybe he did it hoping it would entice more sexual activity between you two. Why does it have to be for another woman? Why not for you? hand that baby over to the grandparents with some diapers and bottles of your milk for a night and get busy.

Ok stop with the "He could be using me". No one is being USED if you a willing participant. You can say no at anytime. Sex is not currency or to be used as currency for a relationship. If he isn't fulfilling your expectations, which one is you would like a relationship, then you simply stop seeing him. It's doesn't look like it's going in that direction so be done with him. Next time, make sure the time you spend together is out on dates, not in their bed.

Ding ding! Immature is your answer. This would be a deal breaker for me. Not sure why you are stalling on kicking him to the curb.

Not doing things for him, and cutting him off is not the answer. Communicating to him how you feel and how things need to change by standing your ground firmly is your answer. Get in his face. He needs to know his tactics will no longer work so he better stop it. It won't work anymore. If he don't like it then there's the door.

I think time away from him might be just what you need.

That's why he stuck with you, because he knows you have low self esteem. He can easily manipulate you and continue on with his lies and cheating. I think you have given enough of yourself to this marriage. You deserve better. I suggest you seek out therapy, and get away from his grip of manipulation.

You can't govern someones behavior long distance. You are not there so you really can't see what she chooses to do, or what she is doing. She could still be dating others. You are going at this blind and naive. I suggest not to get in over your head, and keep your emotions in check. Pay her a visit first. Spend real time with her before deciding uprooting universities/your life for someone that's a stranger.