waffle

Statistically the exact opposite is true. Of course, on the individual level experiences vary so the young ladies you specifically mentioned may now be out of the dating pool. But generally speaking, in your 30s and beyond the trend is towards more less-desireable men on the market, and also more more-desireable women (who may be encouraged to settle by this point). Google "eligible bachelor paradox."

Please note the difference in wording between these two approaches.

Oh, and don't kid yourself into thinking they picked one quality site to be on just because that's what you did. They are on ALL the sites, I mean why wouldn't they be? They know they have to cast a wide net, and the same intro message you received two minutes after your profile was approved is the same one a few hundred other women got. If they're feeling creative they might take a quick glance at your profile and insert something specific in their message to give the impression that they read it.

Honestly it doesn't matter what you put in your profile. You could put "I'm a bipolar mess off my meds and in and out of the psych ward" and the replies you will get are; "do you have any more pics?" "How about a full-length?" "Your [sic] a beautiful women [sic], can I see a pic from the side?" "U have nice smile, maybe one from behind?" Don't think too much on it and don't take any of it too seriously is the best thing I can tell you.

What does that imply?

Boy are you in for a treat. 😐

😮 Hopefully everyone survives this incredibly careless act. I can't figure out what kind of responses you want here, DesignerPrize. Let us know what you want us to say, because it's clear we're getting it all wrong.

He's in love with himself.

That's some very lengthy texting about some very important issues. 😮 Is this typical in your marriage? Interesting you didn't mention any prior in-person conversation about this, and the details of that (although I think we can guess). edited to add: I'm not trying to be snarky here but if yours is a Written Correspondence type of marriage rather than an in-person/.phone call approach to solve problems, maybe consider e-mail? Because I have never seen texting in paragraphs like that.

One of the many reasons I flat-out refuse(d) to work from home. At home I'm on MY time and doing what *I* want. The hours that I'm supposed to work, they can provide the necessary space and resources for me to do that and it is not in my home. I want to use their facilities and drink their coffee, etc. But if I did work from home, would I drink? No, that thought never occurred to me. What would the purpose be? That's weird. I can't imagine needing a drink so bad that I can't wait til work hours are over.

LYING?! 😮 Maybe it's just a prank. As you are well-aware, friends do play pranks on each other.

Lesson learned right there. If that's important to you you'll have to exchange vows FIRST.

Chances are he's had some sort of sexual activity with her but he feels that he's covered his tracks well enough because you can't "prove" anything.

On the other hand I know a young lady with bleached blonde hair, a boob job, killer body, drop-dead gorgeous . . . but got kicked out of high school and has no job (she occasionally gets a job but loses it 1 - 2 weeks later) and has been arrested multiple times for threatening to kill whoever her current boyfriend is, for a variety of reasons. She has physically assaulted at least a couple of them. Mental problems out the wazoo. By your definition she's a "catch" and Alex is substandard because in your opinion she is not "attractive." Do you see how ridiculous this is? Quit telling people they're not "attractive" when you have no idea if they are or not and furthermore you have no idea what other people's preferences are as far as what they find attractive.

Yes! And my point is don't change/lose weight/whatever in hopes that some guy will now like you, do it for yourself. Can't stress that enough.

Oh, I agree with you. I just can't believe we're on here telling women "make yourself attractive so men will want to see you again." 🙄

Same, and that would be (and is) a 100% instant dealbreaker for me (but not for everyone, and that's fine). The problem is once a woman (or man) settles for a relationship where their partner specifically tells them they are not in love with them, despite how "happy" they are in that relationship and how great the person treats them, the natural inclination is to try to get them to fall in love. OP is already doing that by pressing the issue every so often, to see if he has fallen in love yet (i.e. are her efforts paying off yet?). I promise this does not work.

He has been clear with you that you don't meet his definition of being in love. What that actual definition is, is irrelevant. He has said, "I have been in love with someone one time, and that person is not you." It doesn't matter if it's you pressing the issue or he's volunteering the info, when a partner specifically says they love you but are not in love with you, he is saying that for a specific reason. He doesn't want you to get the wrong idea, and unfortunately you are getting the wrong idea with assuming he is in love anyway despite him being very clear he is not.

Yes, quit being fat and hideous. Lord. 🙄

I'd be very careful about assigning feelings to him that he doesn't have, i.e. "he might actually be in love with me and not know it because he treats me so well" and "he says he was in love with this other woman but he was probably just infatuated." This is wishful thinking on your part. If he tells you now, however far removed this relationship is, that he was in love with her, then you can be sure he was in love with her. Consider also the possibility that he might still be in love with her. Maybe not in an active, still-in-contact-with-her way, but more of a "the one that got away" and/or regrets about breaking up with her (if he did) or not fighting hard enough for her (if she broke up with him) and maybe even subconsciously keeping himself available for her. Obviously conjecture on my part but something is very off here and now he's put you in a position of waiting for something that may never happen with his "I'm not in love with you . . . yet" comments and answering your "do you think it might come in time?" with a yes. After a year and a half, the odds are not in your favor. A man who is truly serious about his current relationship does not talk like this.

I wouldn't take any of it personally. This really is part and parcel of the whole online scene (he contacted you through social media, right?). Guy contacts you because he's curious about you, wonders if you look like your pictures, etc. You meet and all may be well, you get along well and you look like your pictures, and I'm sure he meant it in the moment when he said he'd like to see you again. But ultimately his curiosity is satisfied.

Oh boy. This is never good. It's one thing to not feel "in love" and continue along anyway, but it's quite another when someone actually TELLS you this. A sure sign something is off for him. Is this someone you see a future with? Because I'd hazard a guess he's telling you he doesn't see one with you. 😞 edited to add: it sounds like you're in one relationship and he's in another. He's telling you he's not "all in" the way you are. Often statements like this precede the Friend Zone but more likely the Friends with Benefits designation

No I do not think my exes are still attractive.

COVID-hysteria and what constitutes "having a life" aside, I'm trying to understand the thought process behind the above statement. The fact that she, at age 24 if I'm reading this right, has never had a boyfriend means it's ridiculous for her to contemplate having one now, or possibly ever? What?