Chiz

Recently, I have been having issues between my supervisors and a coworker that is coming to a head. My job is to supervise department and we are always understaffed; however I have no ability to do any disciplinary actions so I cannot write up any employees, I can’t send anyone home, nor can I fire anyone. The only thing I can do is tell a manager above me about any incidents. So this coworker of mine who I supervise has been very insubordinate for a long time. She has had emails from customers complaining about her, management has mentioned multiple times that they think she is stealing, she’s been out of uniform to the point where she has been sent home multiple times, etc, etc, etc. I had sent multiple incident reports of her not doing her job but all I’ve gotten from management was that they can’t just fire her. I have been warned not to put her on certain shifts, however, because we have had to slash hours, I had no choice but to put her on. Apparently this was a bad move and my manager said that if I keep doing it, it was going to be a “problem” for me. He didn’t elaborate what he meant by this. I’m not getting any support from management about my coworker. However, I don’t want to be the bad person here and continue to slash her hours or ghost her hours when management refuses to do anything about her. They refuse to hire anybody else and there is only three of us in department a week, so it is getting to the point where I have to schedule her to cover something. I’m at a loss here, I’m close to just quitting but the money is good and I have potential to move up. I’m just at such a loss here.

This. Deep down, I had some reservations about our relationship because his lack of intimacy with other people but I figured, hey, we could grow together because I also had things to work on. Wishful thinking. I think it’s bothering me that I keep coming back to the idea that he was or still is getting way too much enjoyment from the drama. Though I’m so close to wanting to walk away from everything, he is still talking about a future. He wants a house. He is still working a second job and putting money in the account for it. He is waiting for me to give the go ahead for marriage counseling. He’s been more attentive than before. It’s mixing me up.

Hi all, My husband and I are going to work on our marriage. I will officially be starting counseling on my own tomorrow because I have been so angry and depressed for so long that I think that I finally need to talk to someone. This is the first time that I have ever done this, so I have a lot of anxiety. Since my post, my husband has deleted the person’s number and has not mentioned her since. He maintains that nothing physically happened between them but has finally apologized for the emotional pain that he has put me through. For right now, I’m going to take things one day at a time and see if our relationship is still worth it.

Thank you all. I think that he has started growing outside of the relationship and I have threatened to leave him a couple of days ago. I’m still at that point right now to leave him for at least a few days, because it’s clear to me that he doesn’t respect our marriage. He’s begged me to stay and apologized for his lack of judgement. But since yesterday, he’s been filling his days up with work at the second job and has grown distant. My husband is going on 33 years old. I know he had a lot of image issues growing up being overweight but he’s lost a tremendous amount of weight since the pandemic started. I am so proud for that and he truly has been growing. I’ve always supported him with what he wanted to do and I want him to be happy, that’s why I tried to make friends with this girl. However, the first time we all hung out together for her birthday at a restaurant, they left together for three hours afterwards since she doesn’t have a car. I am worried for my husband because he is playing with fire. He refuses to see it. He says that if I don’t have physical proof that he has slept with her or has been inappropriate with her, that he has done nothing wrong. I can’t blame the girl, she is ten years younger than us and it’s not her fault that my husband is terrible. I mean, I’m not married to her after all. I guess I’m just so angry right now and I want to leave this whole marriage because this has been going on for a while now. Though, I’m so conflicted because I know that if I leave out of anger, I might be acting too rashly.

Thank you all for the replies. When I told my husband what had happened, he acted shocked that the co-worker's mother showed up and asked me what I wanted him to do about it. He mentioned that the girl seemed okay with them just being work friends but mentioned that her mother was just trying to be protective because the girl has emotional issues or some crap. That I should "understand" where the mother was coming from. Again, he continues to maintain that nothing has happened between them. He says that he has always tried to include me in everything they do and that he has been nothing but honest with me. That he always comes home to me, etc, etc, etc. He never had friends before and I was his first girlfriend. Our marriage was very close and great until he met this girl. Now he is talking about branching out and making friends where he never desired to before. This incident with the mother makes everything more complicated because my husband also works where I work as a second job. Yeah. I think that's the hardest part. I thought that maybe if I made myself more present this time around, I could see that they were just friends and that maybe I was just tripping. It just made things worse.

Hi, I’m posting here because I’m feeling very lost at the moment. My husband and I have been married for three years, together for longer than that. For a while now, things have been off between us, with him having two jobs and with my job stressing me out. He has recently made a “friend” at work, someone that he is constantly talking about and hanging out with. She is much younger by at least seven years. I have tried to befriend his friend myself, partially because I thought it would make him happy and partially because he doesn’t have any other friends. However, we recently went out the other day together and I noticed that the girl was very touchy with my husband and they constantly went off alone together and left me. This isn’t the first time that they have done this and I had expressed to my husband that I felt uncomfortable with it. He says it is all in my head and that I should stop being so insecure about everything, that she is just his friend. However, he did agree to cool things off with her and the day that he did that, her mother showed up at my job to tell me off saying that her daughter did nothing wrong. I just don’t know what to do now. I love my husband and I want to trust him/not feel jealous but my gut is telling me there is more going on.