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luckystar

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Everything posted by luckystar

  1. luckystar
    yes...one phone call means you must start all over again sorry to burst your bubble....but i believe it to be true i am on day 63 right now.....of not initiating contact.... i have gotten 8 emails from her....the last one being a week ago today... and have gone to lunch with her 10 days ago at her request.....but i have never once initiated contact..... i will be however initiating for the first time this thursday if i dont hear from her this week......the pressure is off now...the neediness i showed around christmas has been diminished so much that she asked me to a second lunch that she wants to pay for......i know she is missing me right now and is waiting for me to make a move..... every situation is different, but me breaking the no contact later this week is okay in my circumstance because: 1. enough time has elapsed....this is a major factor 2.she has shown interest in me quite a bit....by asking me out twice and sending eight emails... 3. we did not talk about the relationship once in any email or the lunch meeting and we wont unless she brings it up 4. i played it cool in all of the emails and lunch and now she is the one doing a little chasing .....she WANTS me to make the next move...but i am going to give her a few more days and see if she breaks down and does it first....if not, i'll do it later this week....
  2. luckystar
    I am very sorry if I come accross rude, impolite, mean or otherwise......I do not want to hurt anyones feelings......BUT You are living a lie.....if you continue with your actions and the neediness that you are showing here on this forum.....YOU WILL NEVER GET HER BACK! The way you talk on this forum proves that you have NOT changed back to the person you were when the two of you started dating......you are desperate and it is CLEAR AS DAY to anyone who reads your messages.......NO CONTACT!!!.....I mean NONE for 60 days unless initiated BY HER!!! If you do this....you may have a chance.....otherwise....I am telling you....your chances the way you are handling it now are less than 15-20% good luck ......
  3. luckystar
    i think your story will hurt people on this forum....encouraging them to not do no contact will prevent them from healing themselves.....too many people have benefited from the no contact rule for you to come on here and cause damage..... i am on day 53 of no contact initiated by me and she has initiated 5 emails in the last week after a ton of time away....i am meeting her for lunch and havent seen her in two and a half months, but her emails suggest she is nervous and wanting to see what is going on in my life and if i still have the same feelings i had before.....i will be a success story for this forum....i am sure of it.....and just because you werent one of those, only means you and that partner were never meant to be together and that is okay.....live life to the fullest, do the best you can for yourself and good things will happen
  4. luckystar
    another 30 days of no contact initiated by you and then you can start contacting him....it is OK to reply to his initiated contacts
  5. luckystar
    also....you are WAY too excited about her call.......i can tell you without knowing either of you.....that it meant NOTHING in the whole scheme of things....so get over it and move on.....as time goes by....things will work themselves out....
  6. luckystar
    tomorrow is day 1 all over again for you......dont get too excited.....keep a goal of 60 days and do it!! I guarantee she will be calling before then....but maybe not for awhile, so relax, take care of yourself and know that you are doing the right thing....if you break down and contact her again....you will lose more of your chances of getting her back...
  7. luckystar
    let me put it bluntly.....your chances just went from about 50% in getting her back all the way down to about 20% with that phone call.....keep it up and it will be zero before you know it..... blind faith.....do it or lose her forever.....that is all i am going to say....if you cannot read all the stuff people are saying about how no contact works, and still not listen....then it is what you deserve......buck up...be a man...leave her alone and take care of yourself....read this post of mine....can you not see what is happening with me???? i now have a lunch date with her for this friday AT HER REQUEST!!!!!!!! that should be convincing enough....if not....then i dont know what is
  8. luckystar
    i did some neediness type of stuff for the first month and then told her i cant heal if we keep contacting each other, so then the no contact began.....and she has done EVERY bit of initiating since.....on day 28, 45, 46, and now again today to ask about the day to go to lunch....i am responding, but not initiating....i will eventually initiate at some point, but by then, i will already have her where i feel we'll be back together soon
  9. luckystar
    heck no....i did not end the relationship......if i did, i wouldnt be trying so hard to get her back
  10. luckystar
    i do not believe she is with anyone else...which helps....but i see where you are coming from with a lack of time....but even doing a few of those things will help.... willpower....you have to believe that you can get through it....and fight for your ex..... when i say fight for you ex.....i mean by NOT contacting her/him....that in itself is fighting for them...but in a different way than most would suggest you do such as flowers, gifts, begging, etc..etc... whenever i wanted to give in and contact her.....i would convince myself that by doing so would be giving up on her.....which is exactly the opposite of what many no contact skeptics believe.....so i decided i was NOT going to give up......so i used it as motivation in the gym to get in shape....she isnt going to know what hit her....her mouth will drop and my charm is going to bring her back....she still loves me....i know this for a fact....how i know, i will not post until a later date....but i cant be the one to go running to her.....she has to convince herself to come back to me for it to be successful for both of us
  11. luckystar
    i almost gave up on day 12 and 26 so hang in there.....it is the hardest thing i have ever done..... i know you want to give in but you cant......i do not think it is wise to ignore contacts from your ex when they come......how you reply will determine your fate in the situation.... i thought she wouldnt contact me either......but it happened.....you have to have blind faith....that is all i can say.... things that helped me make it through to this point: 1. a really close friend to talk to when i was down that wouldnt judge me 2. wellbutrin 3. weekly meeting with a counselor 4. the book "Bonds that set us free" 5. one to two "Al Anon" meetings a week 6. working out every day i can....i have lost 26 pounds in two months and now have a six pack that she has never seen (i went from a 38 waist to a 33 waist and she is gonna be SHOCKED when she sees me) al anon for me is not about dealing with an alcoholic friend or relative but it helped me IMMENSELY and am still going....i cant stress this enough....if you can force yourself to go to 6 meetings....your life will improve greatly....i dont talk when i am there....i just go in and listen.....then i leave....
  12. luckystar
    my first email reply was nice, but only two sentences and a bit standoffish....she didnt send me another email for awhile but i suspect it is because she was shocked that i didnt give her something to feed off of and i stated things were going well.....and actually many people thought the email was a tad bit impersonal.....but that was the plan.... she sent me another one 17 days later.....i replied with a little more niceness and more info about what i was up to, but still no neediness..... she replied soon after and i sent another one back that was a bit standoffish again...but still nice in nature.....basically.....happy, but calm and cool at the same time..... when i post my story in a month or so....i will give specific details that i cant give now because i would be getting ahead of myself.....although some may think i already am....... now the ball is back in her court to set up the meeting date/time.....
  13. luckystar
    and for you skeptics of the no contact rule......if i would have contacted her anytime throughout this whole process...i would NOT be in the position i am right now with an opportunity to see her, have her contacting me and would not be emotionally ready to resume a relationship that i hope to last a lifetime.... you must blindly believe it will work.....it is hard....i am a person who is impatient....i always want answers right away.....i like to have reasoning behind what i do....and this was a leap of faith and taking advice of others that i was not sure would work.....i did it anyways......and i am 100% convinced if i would have done otherwise...my chances would have decreased significantly....
  14. luckystar
    today is day 50.....i feel much better than i did awhile back.....my ex has contacted me three times....on day 28, 45, and 46.........i replied to all of her contacts, but was happy, calm and cool in them.....i was asked to get together sometime soon for a bite to eat..... i consider myself still in no contact since i have not initiated anything...and i plan to be up here in the next month or so with a very inspiring success story....i cant write it yet....but in due time it will happen....as long as i play my cards right....i will get the love of my life back and will share the experience with those here.....you can bet that when i do get her back, all the mistakes i made in the relationship prior will not be repeated this is a big roller coaster ride and you have to just try and wait out the ups and downs.....i have no set date yet to meet the ex for lunch but am confident it will come sooner than later..... good luck to all
  15. luckystar
    "Bonds that make us free" by Terry Warner Best book anyone on this site could ever buy......I think you should too......I have read most if not all of your threads and think you would be amazed at what it will do to change your life and heart. take care
  16. luckystar
    Michael......I have to say this......and ask a question as well..... Do you NOT want to ever get back with her? If that is the case, then I guess I understand your attitude, but dont understand why you are here on this site..... If it is NOT the case, then why are you so negative towards her trying to contact you? That is a good thing, and you are being way too forthright to her in your negativeness. Your opinion is one thing, but I can say that the majority of the people here DO want to get back together with their ex's and would like some contact at some point, and by you telling her to NEVER contact you again, that advice does not work for what the people in this forum are trying to do in my humble opinion. Try to stay positive bud!!.... I am on day 45 of no contact.....she contacted me on day 28 and TODAY!....I am playing it cool....I am going to get to the point where SHE will ask me back....and that is what my overall goal is here.....I do not want to drive her away..... good luck and take care.....
  17. luckystar
    day 44 of no contact for me.....she emailed me on day 28...but none initiated by me.....I am still dying inside at times.....other times I am doing better......it is one BIG roller coaster ride that you have to brace yourself for......it isnt easy.....
  18. luckystar
    p.s. i still feel like absolute sh!t though....lol.....(as tears roll down my cheek)
  19. luckystar
    Hi.....I am on day 40 of no contact....my ex contacted me on day 28....it is still really really hard.....more difficult than any challenge I have ever taken on in my life....(i am 32)......so stay strong....you can do it.....i almost gave in on day 12 and day 36......but one thing i realized today at the gym was....when people say...."fight for her" "dont give up on getting her back".....i realized by doing no contact.....that it is in itself the actual "not giving up" and "fighting for her"....and not the way that other people around me sometimes suggest by calling, professing my love...etc..etc......i know that by doing no contact and fighting to not call or email her.....i am actually AM fighting for her and not giving up.....if i do the begging.....that would be giving up and i want her forever......i wont let myself give in....and neither should you two!!!!! good luck and god bless....
  20. luckystar
    so sunnyscott, i am taking it that you do NOT believe in no contact?? I do.....so that is not an option for me to do as you suggest.....it will make me look weak.....i need to look strong and confident........that is exactly what she told me she was looking for when we split
  21. luckystar
    I am on day 38 of no contact. I did not have a bad breakup and my ex actually emailed me on day 28 of no contact and she was very nice and wanted to know how i was doing and said she hoped I would have time to reply to her. I sent her a short email telling her what I was up to, .. That boosted my spirits for a few days......but then I found myself back a bit miserable and probably had too high of expectations after that contact. How long of no contact before you actually saw "real" results from your ex. Mine did not rule out a reconciliation after she had some time to get a job and figure out her head.....so I am optimistic but scared to death of losing her. I was ready to put a ring on her finger if she was ready, but she wanted some space. Help!! Any words of wisdom are much appreciated! thanks...
  22. luckystar
    well she said those things during my night of neediness 35 days ago after I asked her if she thought we would have a chance later on after some time apart, and that is how she answered it.....it is a great person.....I do not believe she meant to tear my heart out as she has a huge heart of her own.....the only thing that is keeping me going now is that if I slip up now, that I will have to start at day one again......and i certainly dont want to do that.....it was too hard to just get this far to give in..... I do not feel she has "slammed" the door shut....she is too nice for that.....she gave me a few chances throughout the relationship, but I was too blind to see I was slowly pushing her away until she finally said she couldnt do this anymore right now..... my friends say that my response to her email was good and showed stregnth by not feeding her ego at all and that she may be wondering more now that before what I am up to..... it is just tough ya know?.....some days are better than others......this one happens to be a very difficult one for me....... thanks michael2 for your words.....i appreciate the honesty and need to find that boost to keep me going...
  23. luckystar
    I am on day 35 of no contact initiated by myself. My ex girlfriend emailed me on day 28 out of the blue to see how I was doing and said she hoped I would write her back to let her know how I am . I sent her a very short email in return, mostly informational and wishing her luck on her job search. This has been the only contact so far, and I am all of a sudden dying inside again. We did not break up on bad terms, and she even said she can see us catching up on things in a few months after she gets a chance to figure her head out and get a job, and clear the cobwebs. I am struggling real hard today to convince myself to stick with the no contact. I keep thinking that since she emailed me last week, that the door has somehow magically become open again. I was only desperate and needy one time about a month after the breakup (which was 9 weeks ago) and then I actully was the one to tell her I wanted no contact for a few months so I could figure things out as well. She actually apologized in her email last week for getting in touch before the two months or so were up, but that she just wanted to see how things were going. I did not feed her or give her any ammunition in my reply to her, so I just dont know where I go from here. I was doing really well....but now I am feeling the life sucked out of me. She told me she could see us together again someday after 3-4 months or so, but I dont know if I can believe that or not. I try not to dwell on it, but it is difficult. I am in her eyes at this point probably showing stregnth by keeping my word on the no contact thing, but inside I am crippled. I long for her in my life so much. Do you have any advice you can help me with? thanks and take care...
  24. luckystar
    I do not believe you have taken any steps backwards whatsoever.....you are right on pace....i felt this way around day 14 of my no contact phase....when you get to day 28...(which is my day today) you will feel much better..... my ex contacted me yesterday....i did reply today briefly.....but am continuing on with my no contact......i didnt initiate it, and i kept the reply short, so i consider myself still on the plan it will get better......some days are better than others....but you certainly have NOT taken any steps backwards..... good luck to you and take care
  25. luckystar
    i agree with michael2.......DO NOT CONTACT HER!!!!!!!!! DONT DO IT DUDE... you are making a big mistake if you do
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