Fudgie

I can understand that. But I've always been totally against people having kids to "take care of them" when they are older. children are not insurance policies. I see tons of people, both with and without children...with and without spouses and they still end up in the nursing home and alone. I know what lies ahead for me...nursing home. I'm hoping to save up lots of money so I can get into a good one and stay there. I'm not kidding myself...I'll be all alone. My parents are older, I have no capable siblings, very few friends, and I can't have kids. But I'd rather be alone and only have to worry about myself...not having a spouse who is old too and also worrying about him. I always think about my grandmother and when my grandfather died. She said it was really a relief because now she doesn't have to worry about him and help him out...she is old too and shouldn't be assisting or lifting other people. People will always think it's better to "grow old" with someone and I can see why, but I don't feel that it's the best way sometimes.

I don't understand the whole "you're supposed to grow old together" excuse for why people shouldn't marry others who are older or younger. It's such a cop out. Actually, I do NOT want to grow older with my boyfriend. Lots of bad things happen in old age. I want to help him as he gets older...I do NOT want to be his age and be suffering with the same problems, immobility, etc. This happened to my grandparents. Both were very old and always worrying about the other and it was so hard for anything to get done because both were so old. I don't want it to be that way. I'd like to support and help my boyfriend get older, just as he supports me in starting my own career. When I am old, he will be gone and that makes me sad, but I think it will be better because I will have helped up to the end, and now I get time to care for myself and I won't be worrying about him anymore.

Boners while kissing is the reason that my boyfriend and I really can't kiss in public. He gets aroused quite easily. The erection may not remain for long or be hard enough for sex, but he pretty much always has one when I'm there.

I'm Buddhist too and my boyfriend is Christian. We do fine though...he's quite liberal and I was raised Christian but left the church when I was a young teen. Not for me. Anyway, Buddhism is all about respect for others, even when you don't agree. I'd sit down with the dad and tell him that. Say that you love his daughter but you just don't share the same beliefs. But you still love her unconditionally regardless...Buddhism is a lot like Christianity in terms of moral beliefs. Tell him that you respect her AND him, and can you agree to disagree? You respect him even though he's different from you, can he do the same?

You can make your own choice but all i can say is DON'T let people's comments define who you should be with. If you're happy, then BE HAPPY. Any people who say it's "sick" are just losers who are probably jealous you have someone and they are insecure of themselves. I'm with a guy 37 years older and I couldn't be happier. Guess what? I don't want to party, go out...I want to work and stay in. So does my guy. We mesh. It's sad that he'll go a lot earlier than me, but that's life. We will help each other. No one said that you HAVE to marry someone your own age...age gap couples can be and are very happy together.