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trezeralietas last won the day on October 4 2011

trezeralietas had the most liked content!

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About trezeralietas

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  • Birthday 02/15/1982
  1. No. I don't think he ever wanted to delete her in the first place. Actually, the very fact that you found her number again, but that it was listed under a man's name suggests he lied to you and never originally deleted her to begin with. He changed the name of her contact to "Bill" or "Joe" or whatever to throw you off the scent. Even if he originally did delete her and what he says is true about her getting upset, why would it even matter?? If he's going to cow to her anger or being upset, then he's still valuing her, her feelings, her opinion, and the abil
  2. Not a problem for me. I'm a woman who is the male average (5'9") and most of the men I've dated have been my height or shorter. I've had crushes on multiple men shorter than me. It's not about height. It's about attitude and personality and chemistry.
  3. When my marriage was falling apart, I was repulsed by the idea of sex with my husband. We were incredibly disconnected on a fundamental mental/emotional level. When he and I would break down and have a real heart to heart, usually one that ended with us saying we thought our marriage was over, I'd suddenly feel so much closer to him... Probably because we were speaking our truths and completely honest with each other--even if the honesty was that we were deeply unhappy and didn't want to stay together. The ironic thing is, then our sex life would improve and we'd have a little honeymoon pe
  4. Practice placing and enforcing good boundaries. Say no when I need to. Spend quiet time reading or creating. Sit in the sun and enjoy nature.
  5. My current relationship started very much like this. He told me up front he wanted it to be a fling. I tried to be okay with that. We spent a lot of time together for about 4 weeks and he acted like a boyfriend. We realized we had a ton in common and I could feel a connection there, but he still said he wasn't ready for a more. I ended things. We didn't talk for nearly a week and then we made contact again and he said he'd been miserable and missed me and we started an exclusive relationship (after much talk). So far we're incredibly happy. Each situation is different though. I think the
  6. You know, I guess I agree with you SoulTaker. His response did lack etiquette and tact. Probably, ironically, because he's so young, haha. I at least appreciate his honesty and straightforward answer. I mean, I *did* bring it on myself. He just said he had made the conscious decision I couldn't be a potential long term partner and I pushed the point and asked what exactly about me had made him think that. He still could have presented it in a different way, and he did backpedal and say that it wasn't the age gap specifically, but the fact that he feels like we are in different places in our li
  7. I think it will be me. I don't really feel all that invested in this. I am glad to be his friend and I am enjoying how I feel when I am with him, but I am under no illusion that anything could come of this. Anyway, if I were in a place to have a relationship, it'd really be his loss. Oh well, poor baby.
  8. Hey guys! Thanks for the responses. I hear you all, loud and clear. I'm never going to try to think I know better....if a guy tells/shows me who he is, I'm going to believe it. I guess I just find this whole situation kind of bizarre. I almost feel like I'm split in two. One part of me is completely into it and enjoying the intimacy, commonalities, honesty, and sex...oh my. ..The other part, it's like I'm floating in the corner of the room looking on. Like I'm watching a movie or am completely removed from this and I'm marveling at the disconnect between words and actions. It's all s
  9. I've entered into a relationship with a guy that he said from the outset all he's looking for is a "fantastic, sexy, comfortable fling." Okay, I'm totally on board with that because I just got out of a 12 year marriage and have no desire to be tied down or in a committed situation, but I would love to have some great sex and the company of a fun guy sometimes--especially in a more secure way than one night stands can provide. Also, he's 24 and I am 34. My question is, if he's only looking for casual, why the heck does he act super romantic? He holds my hand every chance he gets, always has
  10. I have entered my most recent relationship at a time when I was absolutely not looking. I had made a conscious decision to take some time off dating and not care about who was around me, etc. Then, I went to a bar and chatted with a random girl for ten minutes. A couple hours later she came back to the bar with some friends in tow and introduced me to one of them. Based on our ten minute conversation she thought he and I would be a good match. At no point in our conversation had I mentioned men, dating, relationships, etc. However, because I was relaxed, happy, and friendly with some rando
  11. It sounds to me like you are way over-thinking this. Go ahead and make other plans. Don't sit around waiting for him to contact you. It's not like the world will end if you miss one more day of not seeing him. It will show him that you are able to be happy living your own life and you aren't waiting on pins and needles, ready to jump whenever he says he's ready. And, if for some reason he's blowing you off (which it doesn't sound like he's doing), you're already out living your life and getting on with it. It will be one less thing to feel bad about. Imagine waiting and waiting, not making pla
  12. Don't pay for it. If you always step in and do the work for him, you will be enabling him to stay the same and never grow in the relationship. You'll be keeping yourself locked in this unhappy relationship. You have to establish some boundaries and then enforce them, even if that means doing the hard thing like ending your marriage. Believe me, I know from experience. I just got out of a 12 year relationship (11 of them married) and I didn't properly enforce boundaries. I wanted things to change, but I would usually end of doing the things I wanted for myself and he got used to dragging his fe
  13. I know that if I were you, I would get out of that situation, on all accounts. I'd end the marriage and the affair and figure out how to be alone and meet my own needs for a while. This is no way to live. Perhaps try counseling, but to me it sounds like this marriage ran it's course long ago.
  14. Hey Brokenheart99, I have been reading your post , and Reinventmyself brought up some points that made you admit some hard things for yourself, such as that you are may be trying to prove something to yourself and/or repair your self-esteem via attention from guys...Believe me, I can relate so much. You're really brave for recognizing that. You wanted to know how you maybe start to change those patterns. I have recently ended my marriage and am getting back in the dating pool and I can feel myself tending towards some bad habits of wanting to be wanted, almost at all costs, and I am star
  15. Oh gosh you guys--I seriously need someone to smack me. All of the sudden, after our Friday date I can't get this guy out of my mind. One minute I'm thinking about friend-zoning him, and the next I'm obsessing over the fact that I haven't heard from him. I'll be the first to admit that in the past I always dated emotionally unavailable/stunted men who wanted to rush into a relationship and pushed hard for commitment and physical stuff really early. Also, I've never really casually dated or started as friends. It was always I met a guy, we hit it off, boom! We're a couple. I find myself
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