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vertigoxo

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Everything posted by vertigoxo

  1. vertigoxo
    I tried so hard to get over this but it's so much harder than I thought... But he basically destroyed me from the inside out. I was even so close to breaking NC but again, I held myself back, cried a little, and then I was okay for the rest of the day. Sigh.
  2. vertigoxo
    Day 151 I'm feeling so bad right now... Yesterday I was doing great and now something triggered a memory about how my ex hurt my feelings beyond belief about how I was a "jealous girl" and I was only like that thanks to him bringing out those horrible feelings! He hated me since the first day we met, I just know it!
  3. vertigoxo
    Day 150 5 months of NC... Completed. I feel so much better! I feel like I have learned a lot and have had mental clarity over everything that has happened. I'm proud of myself for pushing on even when things got dark... I knew that the sun will come up, and it did. image removed ^^^ That's how I feel right now... The sun has just come up and I feel free of bitterness, broken heart, all of that stuff... It's basically all gone and been replaced with a refreshing sense of hope and a newfound wisdom on love, life, and everything in between. Everyone... You will feel better! Keep fighting and keep going in NC until you have no more feelings for the ex! And if you want to tie up lose ends (I'm going to try that in a month's time or so), then go ahead! You will become the bigger person in the end. Good luck!
  4. vertigoxo
    Day 147 I can't believe some people can be as cruel, heartless, and just downright terrible and not even know it themselves...
  5. vertigoxo
    Day 146 4 more days and I will complete 5 months of NC... I feel good these days, actually. My brother and I had an amazing talk the other night.... He's right. The past is dead, and we all need to move on in the end. What will be, will be. I'll just have to see what the future will bring me...
  6. vertigoxo
    Day 138 Things are pretty peaceful these days... =]
  7. vertigoxo
    Day 137 My parents have made a plan to probably move us out to Texas. Basically, my mom and my younger siblings will stay here in Pennsylvania while my dad and I move out and rent a little place while he searches for a job and gives mom some money for a while until they decide to come along with us. This will all happen in a month's time or something... Hopefully this will be our last move. ... I wonder if I should tell him that I will leave soon... Eh. I guess you gotta let sleeping dogs lie.
  8. vertigoxo
    If Hitler and Satan had a baby, it would be you.
  9. vertigoxo
    That's some real awesome music you got there, brah'!
  10. vertigoxo
    I'm here. I'm one of them. All my life I've been searching for that one deep friendship that can also love me for who I truly am and not what I could be. The one person who loves me and is my best friend. The one person who would NEVER, in a million years, would hurt me. The one person who keeps their word on their promises on forever. The one person who cares about me to the point of tears... I've been overlooked, of course, because I don't look like a beauty queen. I don't wear revealing clothes, or put on heaps on bronzer or eyeliner. I don't have beautiful blue eyes, or luscious lips and breasts. Many people have called me cute before, but I take that compliment as, "Not pretty enough for romantic material, but pretty enough for a good laugh or two before discarding you away like trash before searching for another beautiful creature." Yeah, I know I'm broken. Imperfect. Flaws everywhere, both in and out. I know I look a fright when I feel like giving up on humanity, but still... I want more than anything to have someone who loves me as much as I love them. Too bad all the bad girls and all the beautiful girls get to have love while I, the broken one, sit on the sidelines while watching life go by.
  11. vertigoxo
    I don't understand one thing and one thing only; Why do men try so hard, so so so hard... To impress the types of women who don't even deserve a second glance by someone because of their horrible personalities and stuff? The type of women who laugh at people when they fall down (physically or mentally wise), the type of women who only like men for either his looks or money, the type of women who would only use you for sex, money, or anything shallow... WHY, may I ask, OP, do men try so hard to catch these kinds of women? When there are a plenty amount of women out there who are beautiful inside and out who would never dream of hurting the one man she loves?
  12. vertigoxo
    You made me cry so hard today, you jerk!
  13. vertigoxo
    God you're such a horrible person, you know that!?! I should have heed the things you said about yourself as raging red flags to me... "Oh, I'm such a man ho, teeheh!" Damn right you are. Here you are, thinking it's cool to break hearts and make gils feel like crap for loving you, but then... "Oh, I like this girl, I'm going to ask her out." BUT WAIT! SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU BACK! BUT SUDDENLY, IT'S SOOOOOOOOO SEXY TO BE TREATED LIKE CRAP, HUH?!?! HURRY FATASS BEFORE SHE HOPS THE TRAIN TO GO BACK TO HER HOUSE! You're ugly. You're fat. You have no soul, no heart, yet claim all you really want is a serious relationship that will last forever and ever. And how in the hell are you ever going to find tat with that disgusting attitude you have? You know what I'm talking about... The whole making your female friends your harlots that hang onto your every word to them, you touching their breasts and asses and assure them that no matter what happens, a girlfriend will never take their place as your harlot. Ha! Ridiculous. You are SO ANNOYING, oh my God... And why do you make weird hairstyles on your hair? Do you really believe that people find it cute that you are trying to look black even though it's painfully obvious that you're white? Please cut the ghetto talk crap, it's not funny nor is it cute. Your narcisstic personality is sickening due to the simple fact that there is absolutley NOTHING attractive about your physical looks or personality. At all. You love to go around making people feel like crap but guess what honey... You're just hurt that daddy left your mommy for being such a @%@$%#!#@. I bet he feels sorry for your fatass, wishing you would lose weight and such. Your huge weight reminds him of your mother, the woman he hates now. You are just like your mother, even though you don't realize it. Oh, you hate your mom, sure... But that's because deep down, Cole... You are just like her and you hate it. Drop. Dead.
  14. vertigoxo
    Day 100 Woohoo! I've reached a 100 days of NC! I'm doing okay, albeit a bit depressed, but overall, I'm happy for the future.
  15. vertigoxo
    Day 99 I'm alright for the most being. Just so many unanswered questions, though...
  16. vertigoxo
    Day 90 I'm still missing him a lot. Though I am able to function normally and have my moments of laughter and happiness here and there... When I'm alone in my room, that's when he comes popping up in my mind... I don't know if I'll ever break NC... I'm too scared to. As much as I still love him like people would with their first love, I don't know if we could ever go back. I'll be moving far away somewhere in 2010, and I'll move on with my life... Who knows what'll happen. I just hope he's okay wherever he is.
  17. vertigoxo
    Just wanted to let you know that I'm closing the door on you for any future happenings between the two of us. I don't think I want to be your friend now or ever. Thinking of you doesn't hurt me anymore... I've moved on. Goodbye, Cole.
  18. vertigoxo
    You don't give up, do you? Just leave me alone, please... It's the least you can do for all the * * * * you have done to me for nearly the past 2 years. Go away!
  19. vertigoxo
    I think they're adorable. =D
  20. vertigoxo
    Why thank you.
  21. vertigoxo
    I love this. =]
  22. vertigoxo
    It's never easy to live this life Not going to say it's an easy way street But please put that down that knife Because you will experience amazing people that you will meet They're going to knock you down and spit on your face It's hard when all you wanna do is give up But you gotta have faith Even when the world is disgustingly corrupt They're going to kick you even when you're down They're going to try and ruin who you are But there is never a reason to frown When I know you're the best by far There comes a time when you are feeling vulnerable There will be times when you are feeling weak People will do anything to make you feel uncomfortable Trying to find your soft spots that they seek And they're going to knock you down and spit on your face It's hard when all you wanna do is give up But you gotta have faith Even in this world that is disgustingly corrupt They're going to kick you even when you're down They're going to try and ruin who you are But there is never a reason to frown When I know you're the best by far It's hard to keep all these feelings inside You will want to cry every day and every night But please, just please, take some pride Things will get better more than you think it might And they're going to knock you down and spit on your face It's hard when all you wanna do is give up But you gotta have faith Even in this world that is disgustingly corrupt They're going to kick you even when you're down They're going to try and ruin who you are But there is never a reason to frown When I know you're the best by far
  23. vertigoxo
    Got my college stuff done, so I'm going to enroll on the 24th of this month. So excited! I also have a date friday night, so that's also awesome. All in all, I like where I am in life. I'm starting to love myself (not in an arrogant way, of course, more or less in a healthy self-esteem way) more and more as each days come and go. I'm almost done with my first month of NC so I'm just so darn proud of myself right now. 8 more days to go!
  24. vertigoxo
    I'm in a great place today in my life. I got a guy's number, thinking about calling him up tomorrow night to arrange a double date with me and him, and our friends who are now a couple. I'm so happy, but... I am still thinking about the ex. It doesn't hurt anymore. It's been 5 months, and I hope he's doing okay wherever he is. But I have to move along and not feel bad about it anymore. Only 9 days to go until I complete a month of NC. I usually break NC after a month, so this time, I'm gonna go on longer. I'm gonna do it!
  25. vertigoxo
    I had this weird dream last night where my ex had this new girlfriend (not the one he is with currently) and he was introducing her to me. He was messing with my hair and touching my shoulder, joking around with me. I looked a bit disinterested, or maybe a bit jealous, not sure. I talked to someone last night about my ex. Man, everything he said was so right about my ex. Turns out my ex was acting like he doesn't care about me just so he won't be seen as "weak" by other people. He did act out good but I have seen some weak moments from him. But whatever. Life goes on and I'm keeping NC.
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