nesthead

I would give it another week and if he doesn't get in contact with you, invite three of your friends to go. If he gets in touch with you after that, tell him that you had to make other arrangements because you haven't heard from him. (In a nice way, of course.) Common curtosy has nothing to do with being an ex or not. He should let you know right away if he has plans to use the tickets. If not, they're all yours.

I agree. You definitely didn't blow it. You were honest, not pushy, nothing wrong with inquiring...just lay low for now. Grab some friends, go out, and have a good time.

electricekcentric, the way she is speaking of things....it sounds like she is still unsure what she wants to do. so when she thinks you're ok, she feels more comfortable, no guilt. but if you go to her or show her attention her defenses come crashing down. so she lashes out at you. i've been on the receiving end of "i'm a burden for you". it's code for "i can't give you what you want", 99% of the time a commitment. The whole push-pull thing is so not healthy for you. Remove sex from the list of things you will do with your ex right now.

If anyone decides to send their ex a card, definitely make it an ecard. And make it a generic one. Happy Birthday - that's it. Don't even sign it. If you must sign it, please do not put "love". But, if you don't want to hear from them, or think they don't deserve it, it's best not to send one at all. You might regret it later if they don't even respond to you. I sent mine an ecard. He ended up sending me one back thanking me for remembering, good to hear from me.... So it all depends on what you're looking to get out of this.

lady00 , great post. It's now a permanent list on my desktop.

Could be all the back and forth - the uncertainty. I get that way too. Some days nothing can bother me - some days I don't want to do anything, talk to anybody...And the hurt comes back. We talk, I'm all happy, then it's like I'm non-existent for weeks. Keeping busy is so key to helping yourself stay healthy through this. All my friends are married or live far away. So I decided to start working out. Not only does it keep me busy, it gives me something to look forward to every day. Keeps me on a schedule, ya know? It's something I do for me and no one else. I won't lie though - I got very happy when the ex noticed. I brushed up on my photography projects, woodworking....Are we allowed to talk about the books you're reading on this forum? I read quite a bit, but I haven't found any good books on this subject. I try to allow myself limited amounts of time feeling bad. Not because I don't miss my ex - but because it's not healthy for me.

he's going to be 29. he's got all the stuff he could want as far as computers or sports or cars or whatever. last year when we were dating he received flowers from someone else, so it's kind of a sore spot for me. i made him a cake, got him all this cool stuff and all of a sudden he's got a bouquet of flowers in his hand. but i digress... i'm afraid that if i try to make plans with him in advance, he might blow me off for something else. remember, he is technically single - we're not exclusive. how about if i just call him that day and offer to take him out for dinner or something?

i'm seeing this guy, sort of, and his birthday is around the corner. what am i supposed to do about a gift? we've been off and on for over two years.

the long of the short of it is this; i have recently started dating an ex boyfriend of mine (and taking things slower than molasses i might add, but that's ok). last night was the first night we had sex since getting in contact with each other. it's been over 8 months since the last time. anyway... we were having sex last night when he accidentaly thrust his penis into my anus. i screamed and started crying so hard - i couldn't stop. it was a complete accident. he apologized, and was running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to figure out what to do for me. i just cried and grabbed him; at that point all i wanted was for him to hold me; until the pain and shock went away. i'm sure it freaked him out. i've gone through hell and back with him, and it figures that the first time we get together after all this time to have a little fun, this is what happens. so here i am the next day, hoping i'd hear from him, but...no such luck. i left him a message earlier just to say that i hoped he was having a good day. i don't know what to do; or not do. my feeling on this is to just let him be and talk to him if he calls. any advice out there?