Surfinman
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I tried the no contact thing for a while. When I got back into contact with her she told me she was dating someone else. I still love her but cant figure out if its completely over. She says you can never know what the future may hold. Confusing stuff....
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Loves me.....But not in love with me
Surfinman replied to Surfinman's topic in Getting Back Together
Also she had told me that she could see us together in the future(that was a couple of weeks ago). She then told me that she is dating another guy, but not seriously. After this she said the whole "I love you, but not in love with you". Should I believe it is completely over? Or should I still have hope. We dated for 4 yrs. and were very happy with each other. -
To make a long story short ex left me about 2 months ago out of the blue because she wanted to see what else is out there and meet new people etc. The other day she told me that she loves me, but is not in love with me. Is it possible to gain someones real love back after they have said and felt like this? Those of you who have gotten their ex's back after they have felt like this, what did you do?
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Lady00 That was a great post with some good advice.
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here is my original post and background link removed Ok. I have posted my problems here and alot of you have helped me out. Here is the stupid mistake I made. We recently spent some time with each other after a month without seeing each other. It was great and she told me that she had a good time. Fast forward about a week and we are talking on the phone. I broke down and started thinking with my emotions. I told her how much I loved her and so on...She told me that we both need to see what life is like without each other and that I shouldnt have any hopes about "us", but if it is meant to be we will happen again. She also said we need to explore and meet and experience new people. Im pretty sure I frustrated her very badly by doing all this(she told me so) and I feel like I've gone back to square one. I feel like if I dont fight for her Im giving up and admiting defeat. I ended the whole conversation by saying that I didnt think we should talk for a while and that I would contact her when I felt I was ready to talk. My question is do you all think I have totally blown it? Should I have told her not to call me? What else should I do or shouldnt do to get her back?
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Well she wants to see me tomorrow. So....we are going out to lunch. Im kind of nervous. Not sure how to act around her. Any suggestions?
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ok. This girl is driving me insane. Nothing new has happened. She continues to tell me that she misses and has even said that she still loves me, but cant be with me right now. She also acts (I do too) like everything is fine between us. All very frustrating. I am staying busy and not being so available, but I feel like I am stuck here. I dont know what to do to help her listen to her heart and not her head. I need to do something to help her act on these feelings? Any ideas?
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Ok...its been a little while but here is what is going on. She continues to call and talk, but now she tells me that she misses me. What is that all about? What should I say back to her? Also the other day I told her that I am not going to be here forever. That at some point I am going to be gone a she will not have my heart. I told her that when that day comes it will be the biggest mistake of her life. I dont know if that was the right thing to tell her but oh well...I did. I also bumped into her mom the other day. She said that this is something that she is going through, and that it may take a while for her to come around. She also said that they thought that I was the one for her and that no one else could make her as happy as me. Seeing as she has little dating experience. Do you all think that this is a normal thing for someone to go through?
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Do you all really think that someone wont come back to you if you become their friend? I was thinking that that was one of the steps to get back with them.
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This is some great advice. I dont think I am going to write the letter though, because its not really how I feel. I think she would just think I am getting mad at her. I do want her to think what you all have said though. But I want her to figure that out on her own. I guess with enough time without contact from me she will relize that she doesnt need to see what else is out there and what we had wasnt just comfortable but it was love. She is worth it, but I wasnt planning on 6-12 months. But if thats what it takes then I have to do it. So are you saying it may take 6-12 months of no contact from me? Let her initiate all the contact? Thanks.
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Ok, What do you think writing that will do though?
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Well, I think I already messed up. But from now on Ive promised myself to stick to it. She called me and of course the conversation went to us. Needless to say she clarified things a little. She still said that she needs to see what else is out there but for me not to think that just because she doesnt find anyone soon she is coming back to me.I asked her realistically do I have a shot and she said yes. She also said she needs to know our relationship wasnt just comfort but it was real love. I guess this is true and only time will tell. I think I need to do what you said and also take some time and work on myself.
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Thanks. I think that is exactly what she is doing taking me for granted. The no contact thing is so hard, but I am going to try it. I guess I just have to learn some patience because I just want this to be all over right now.
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Thanks. Do think I should keep talking to her or try the no contact rule that some people use?
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My girlfriend and I just recently broke up, it has only been about a week. We had been dating for 4 years. We were best friends before our relationship started and that is what made our love so strong. She was telling me that she loved me and wanted to be with me forever right up until we broke up. So here is how her revelation came about: Some guy tried to kiss her and she said she let him. But it didnt mean anything and that she is sorry that it happened. She said it made her question if something better was out there and if this was the happiest that she could be. I dont know it is so hard to believe. She told me that she meant everything that she told me in our relationship, but she just wants to see what else is out there. This whole scenario happened in about two days. I did the whole begging, pleading, gift giving and letter writing with no results. She said that she really hopes that we can get back together someday from the bottom of her heart. She also said our relationship was good and that I was the perfect boyfriend(probably not). And that she just doesnt want any doubts in the future. I dont know what to do. She says she wants to get to be better friends with her girlfriends and figure out who she is. I want her back so bad. I know that she is the one. I just dont know the best way to do this. We still talk on the phone and email each other alot. Should I have any hope? I would appreciate any advice. I just want her back