Melis

yeah i know, this is going to be tough, but hopefully I can stay strong like u! He has a way with words, you leave the conversation thinking its your fault. But it really isn't....I think he will regret this, but maybe he wont, maybe he will find someone who is really great, but hopefully i will to!

thats what i told him, and all he said was I guess. He says I know we could be together for a long time...ummm no, i said how can you say that while your kissing other girls. He said i never ask what your doing, you can do whatever you want...that makes me feel real great! I said well i cant lay here with you not knowing if you have done anything with someone else, he says well id never throw it in your face. I said great so I have to ask if Id ever want to know...No thanks! I said clearly you want to be single, so be it, see if the grass is greener on the other side! He just says ok....god why did I waste so much of my life on him!

thats where im at sandyv.....but i guess my sucks because it just happened about 30 min ago! I hope things get better for u! Be strong, im here if you need me! I think the hardest things for me is he acted like he didn't care, like oh well...made it my fault, like i was just to controlling, that he was a big boy and could do whatever he wanted, just as I could! Well i dont have to deal with it anymore! Some one else can!

all he said about the break up, was ok I cant chase after you, i love u and i will miss u...just seemd so cold hearted! Part of me wishes he would text or call and make things right, but i know he wont, thats just him. NC to him is a breeze, but its going to be a struggle for me! I will make it though with your guys help!

Well forget everything! I broke up with him tonight, actually about 20 min ago....I found out he kissed another girl at midnight on new years. He acted like it was no big deal, but to me it was. I didn't kiss anyone, just wished he was with me....guess he was thinking the same!

Start me with day 1! I just ended it with the guy I had been off and on again with for 2 years! He cheated about a year ago, and things have been rocky since. I found out tonight he kissed another girl on new years, and that was enough for me! So here to new beginnings...this is going to be the hardest thing i have ever done, but im up for the challenge!:sad:

And I called....kinda mad at myself now! He wasn't doing anything. This is the part the sucks for me, I could have stuck to my plan of letting him make all the effort, but when I dont hear from him, I let my mind wonder and I imagine hes with someone else. I guess that happens when your cheated on! Well back to my orginal plan....he said give me a call after bit....should I just wait until he calls me??

Hey guys! OK if you have read my previous posts you will know that me and the guy im currently dating have been together for a little over 2 years, but have major trust issues. Well atleast on my part! He cheated on me a little over a year ago, and Ive spent everyday since trying to rebuild that trust. Anyway, Ive decided to just take a step back for a little while. Ive stopped calling/texting him. I dont make the effort I used to! Since Ive been doing that he calls and texts all day long, well until today. Normally by now he would have text or called, and he hasn't. I know its probably not a big deal, but Im trying everything not to contact him. Ive been doing so well, and hes been so sweet, I guess because my lack of effort has done something to him. I dont want to call, and have the ball end up back in his court. I leave work in an hour...not sure what to do???

kik trust me, I know your pain. When i was in your situation every in the world irritated me, even the simplest things. Nothing anyone told me could change what I was feeling, or change the non-stop thinking of my ex. I thought about him constantly, about our all good times, but the thing I should have been doing is thinking about how hes hurting me. And asking myself why I deserve this pain. Why do they deserve to be happy, while you lose sleep and hate the world. It will get easier, maybe not anytime soon, but it will. Start looking at the big picture, shes doing this to you, shes causing you this pain. If someone truly loved you would they would never want to see you hurt!

I know what your going through...it never fails that after a break up, you tend to only think of the good times. When you should be angry and upset that they have walked away and caused you this pain, you just sit and cry wishing things could go back to how they used to! Been there, did the endless nights of crying questioning why he would do this, and why i deserved to hurt like this. We were so happy at one time, what happened??? I hope it gets easier for you! I know that time heals all, its just getting to that point, and moving through all the pain!

tiredofthis im sorry to hear about your breakup....we seem to kinda be in the same situation, everytime I say something to my ex, confront him about something etc, he flips out and gets mad at me...and has before ended things between us. He says hes a big boy, and cant live life having someone tell him what he can and cannot do. That he just doesn't meet my expectations. The thing is I dont have real high expectations for him, I just ask that hes honest and doesn't cheat on me AGAIN! When he gets defensive it only makes me think hes hide something even more. Here lately I have just stopped calling, texting, etc. The only time we talk is if he calls or texts me, and here lately b/c I stopped putting in the effort, he calls all the time. He even showed up at my house at 3am this morning after he got off work. I think he is getting the sense that Im just tired of stressing, and I'm to that point where i just dont care anymore!

Thank you misser! I figure he did this to himself by cheating on me! Granted I did say I would forgive him and move forward. But if he for any reason felt he needed to patrol me I wouldn't get upset about it, Id do just the opposite, Id try to fix whatever it was that was making him think I was cheating or doing something wrong!

Your right meantime, I will never know what everyone else sees until I step back and see it for myself! Im better then this, and deserve better then thi! I think down deep hes a good guy, but he just has a lot of issues, issues that I cant waste anymore time trying to fix or figure out. Im taking one day at a time, and am slower but surely seperating myself from this situation! I will be back on tomorrow to let you know any updates! One day at a time!

So many good point meantime! I think he really has a confidence issue, and my keeping so many women in his life, it make him feel better about himself! Everyone says "What are you doing with him, you can do so so much better." I think ive just had my confidence killed so much in the last 2 years that I dont even realize that him are I are so different. For instance, Im 23, hes 33. All my friends say he looks like hes in his 40's, and thats he not very attractive. For me looks aren't everything...but he had a great personality, and now Im not sure what Im holding on to. I think I constantly look at the past and what we "used' to have, and thats what keeps me around!

Thanks flower, I know either way this is going to be a tough road. Once hes gone its going to be hard, because the love will still be there. But truthfully, I just keep asking myself "How long can you do this, when is it time to relax and stop stressing." Im so ready for that time! Just tough to let go of something you love! But I think I can take some others advice, and stop using my heart and start using my head!

meatime your right, as soon as he knows im gone, hes right there at my doorstep! Even if I tell him I cant do it anymore, he will still call, still show up. So it just drags me a long, and eventually pulls me back in b/c things seem to great, and then after a couple weeks they are right back where they were before!

Flower99 your right, i dont want to see where Im at in 2 years if I stay with him, Id be scared to see the person Id become. This is really tough, but im trying, Im letting go more and more every day!

The thing is I think Im at that breaking point. Its just as soon as I think about saying something to get away, he pulls me in again! Its hard to imagine my life without him b/c hes been in it everday for the last 2 years, but then again I cant go on like this either. Here lately Ive stopped calling him, stopped texting him, stopped everything. Which means he starts calling me more, and texting me more. Its like im trying to pull away slowly, as to not make this hurt as bad, but its like he is right there everytime!

Trust me tiredofthis I know how it is to snoop, you dont want to be that person, but you feel like if you dont find out for yourself you will always question. Hes the same way though, I could have clear cut evidence that hes lying and he will deny until the end. Then hes one of those who makes it your fault, like "Im so tired of this, Im a big boy, Im tired of you telling me what I can and cannot do, Im being faithful." And yada yada....we can be good for a month, but then something will seem weird, he will say something, or just act weird, and there i am snooping again...its like I do it to protect myself so that I dont get hurt again!

Yeah i dont like the person I have become at all, it kills your confidence. When i met him I was the most confident person ever, I had no worries and i just enjoyed life, looked forward to the weekends with friends..etc. Now its like I dont do those things anymore b/c Im constantly keeping tabs on him, and by the end of the night im just to tired to even do anything. What hurts the most is hes not understanding, he does things and doesn't think of how it will effect me...he just says "I can have friends that are girls, if it was a guy you wouldn't have a problem." Well duh! This sucks, how do I pull myself away when i love him, but know this so very unhealthy!

Yeah it for sure makes it tough on a relationship. The thing is he has a history of cheating. Hes been married twice before and cheated on them both...obvious reasons why they are ex wifes now! Its a tough situation because I love him, but Im so tired of spending every day stressing wondering if hes telling me the truth or not. I agree prtygrl that he shouldn't get mad at me for being this way, but he figures after a year I should be over it...but to add fuel to the fire hes a dj at a night club...that is hard enough!

I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. About a year ago he cheated on me, and we broke up for a couple months, but ended up getting back together. Now I find myself constantly checking up on him, patrolling his myspace, always over his shoulder, and used to always check his phone. I haven't checked his phone in awhile, because he would get mad, and we would just end up in a fight....do you ever trust again, or the relationship doomed?