Dutch713

... but how do you bring up the issue when talking to her? On the phone? Make another trip to see her? And how do you even start to say how you feel after being so close for so long but never romantically? Anyone ever do this before and have a good way to approach it?

Thoughts on how you approach this situation. How to break the ice and tell this person how you feel? I'm 27 and so is she. We've been best friends for 15 years, lost touch for years at a time but always pick up right where we left off. We've both had our share of "bad relationships" in the past. A thousand miles separate us now, but after recently traveling to spend a long weekend with her I can't imagine being happier with anyone else. We had so much fun; laughing, dancing, talking, etc. Her family asks me why we never got together, my parents ask me the same question... I don't know the answer myself! I just don't want to be 40y/o, unhappily married and wondering 'what if?' I would appreciate any advice you can all offer.

What is everyone's opinion on Best Friends (between a man and woman) for a very long time, losing touch and living our own lives, as fate would have it rekindling the friendship after a decade and then becoming Lovers? I got out of a bad relationship two months ago, her engagement fell apart a few months ago... and we decided to get together for the weekend. I flew 3 hours to see her and spent 4 days with her. We spent the extended weekend doing tourist things, laughing, going out dancing, having dinner, watching sunsets, drinking wine, swimming, etc. etc. etc. I realized that how I felt for those couple days I have never felt that happy or understood before in any romantic relationship I've had. I confided in her during the trip that she was my first love and for all the right reasons, she seemed to be genuinely taken back and smiled. She is unsure of where her life is going now I can tell, if she should move home (where I am) or if she should still be pursuing her ex fiance. What to do... How do I show support for her and let her know I'm still there without smothering her or chasing her away from 1000 miles away? I want to get on a plane and go back!

Anyone know what that comment was that was deleted?

Thanks for the encouragement. It has been 11 days since we saw each other last, and 7 since she cancelled our plans... still have heard nothing. I cant tell you all how many times I have wanted to call her, go to her house, etc. It is a struggle daily even though all weekend I was out meeting tons of new people having fun, every morning I woke up wondering what was going on in her head and when I'd hear from her. Interestingly I understand now from an old friend it is in her behaviour pattern to just cancel plans and take off for days without returning calls or messages (according to a friend of her ex bf).

I saw her car today at her house as I was going out for a short run. I foolishly called her to reassure her I am there for her and that I think distance is the best and to end this for now... however she DIDN'T ANSWER. I'm sure she saw my phone call, but is gone away for the weekend now, likely to help forget about the situation. I sincerely have no intention of contacting her again, it had been since sunday... I guess I'm back to day 1 now... I hope I didn't screw up too badly.

I can't tell all of you how sincerely grateful I am for your responses... it gives me a very fresh perspective and a bit of confidence. She is 23y/o and just out of college. I do think she is having growing pains as far as not sure if she likes her job yet, wishing she was back in college, has little money, forced to live at home for the time being, etc.

I feel quite selfish by creating a post asking for advice on my own problem, but as I read through posts on here I am impressed with the wisdom shared by many for other's benefits. My situation: I have been dating my present GF for 11.5 months, she pursued me for an entire year prior to our dating as well. There are no problems when we are together, no fights, and neither of us would rather be anywhere else. We both love each other very much. There is no infidelity as far as I know (no clues to it at least). She talks about the future with me, 10 years down the road, wanting kids, a house, etc. She has also told my friends she knows I am the guy she wants to marry someday, and how she waited for over a year for me to notice her. Recently she began questioning our differences (I am very structured, she likes to fly by the seat of her pants without planning anything) and whether we will last. She also in the middle of these conversations will say "I have never let anyone into my heart and that scares me... I feel like I have to run away, I dont want to get hurt or for you to get hurt". She has said she has to take a step back and then will wind up calling me and confiding in me how much she loves me and misses me when I try to give her space. She has had a plethora of family hardships growing up too. Poor relationship with her Mother, never knew her father. We had plans Sunday, and she cancelled them via text message. I called her subsequently 4x and emailed her in the following 6 hours to see if she was ok and she never returned any of my calls ( I worry that my over-worrying scared her or pushed her away or that my overreaction was perceived as psychotic). I have heard nothing from her now since the text message. I have not attempted to contact her since Sunday night. The last time we saw each other everything was amazing and fun... this is quite confusing. Some friends tell me this is her cowardly way of breaking up with me, others seem to think she is going to call me like she has in the past but is trying to put some distance in there, and everyone agrees this is no way to act in a relationship. I do love her very much, I see a future with her, and I am confused, doubting, hoping and wondering where I stand or what I should do... It is not as easy as just "Moving on" when you feel like this, and especially when both of us have said we see futures together. Words of Encouragement and Hope are greatly appreciated... Thanks for listening.

This is a very inspirational post SuperDave, The woman I have been dating for 11 months has recently been questioning a lot about our relationship. Since we never really argue, have no major issues with each other, and are both genuinely happy together, I think it has a lot to do with her inability to let people into her heart (since she's told me a few times she's never done that). Also she is 23 and fresh out of college and having a hard time adjusting to the real world, still wanting freedom to do what she wants, new job, no money, etc. ... on the flip side of the coin she also wants stability and a relationship. This makes for one hell of a rollercoaster ride. 4 Days ago she cancelled our plans via text message. I called to talk to her and she didn't answer. I called 4x and emailed with no response... since then I have had no contact and it really sucks but all of my friends keep giving me the same advice I read so eloquently posted by you. I have no idea if this is a breakup or if she wants space and time... confused and hoping.