englishwoman41

Hi, i dont think you can beat 2 litres of water a day and a good walk in the fresh air. I dont rate this mineral make up so much as they say its great on qvc but it made me break out. I love Estee Lauder and Clarins and sometimes i sleep in my make up (dont we all) Get lots of water, vit c and fresh air. I wish i lived in Virginia or Maine x

Sorry if i upset anyone but im talking from the soul here.

I hate to go on about this but i may aswell spill. I have never gone out spending but i did used to suffer from rage at the world and when i was around 17, i wanted to go to Germany and kill Germans as i had a a terrible angst about Gemany regarding the holocaust. Im not Jewish, im an Irish Roman catholic but i felt as if i should go and get revenge on Germans for what they did to the Jews. When i was at the beach in say Spain or Greece and i saw a German, i wanted to drown them and obviously, i never acted upon this but i could never be around German people without feeling this way. Im fine now but at the time i couldnt cope with it. It wasnt racism but more of an unexplained feeling inside and not something i was raised to feel as a family as my family often went to Germany and had lots of friends in Germany but i wanted to get revenge for what they had done to the Jews.

I also cant cope with any form of pressure and i go to bed for upto 2 weeks at a time and hibernate. I close the world out when im in this phase and refuse to open any mail or answer the phone or doorbell. When im in this phase i will wash and dress in my pjs and just space out and think about how evil the world is and at one point, i did take an overdose. I dont eat and only drink water and snack on dry crackers. My moods are ok at the moment as its winter and im settled but as soon as spring comes, im back down. Winter for me is so vivid and real and has so much clarity, its like a beautiful time. I am on sodium valproate and venlafaxine at the moment but i refuse to take the sodium valproate in wintertime. Winter for me is a new dawn of energy that sparkles.I dont want to ignore the beauty of winter whilst drugged up. I am also Irish and i think that a lot of this new discovered mental illness is a sign of the fact that im a Celt and Celts are quite pure in bloodline but suffer a lot from mental illness and drink related problems. Im not into new age stuff and i read the bible every day. I am also a terrible perfectionist and hate anyone who tells bs. I have an in built radar and its as if i have a 6th sense sometimes but i hate it.

Hello, I am suffering from this and was diagnosed about 10 years ago before anyone had really heard about it in the United Kingdom. Mine started when i hit puberty in about 1976 but everyone just put it down to me being shy or having a hormonal thing. I went through my teen years as a bit of a rebel but didnt do drugs or sleeping around, i mostly shut myself away in my room for weeks on end and burnt joss sticks and listened to music and then, as if by magic, i would go out clubbing and have all my friends come to stay and do crazy keep fit stuff like running out in the rain with cans of beans in my jacket and 2 pound bags of suger to help me get fit whilst i ran.This would last for around a month and then i would be back to staying in my room for another month. My father was exactly the same as me but as he got older he was more reclusive. I got to about 22 and by this stage i had travelled all around the world and had lived like a gypsy going through stages of reclusing in my room and then jumping on a plane and thinking nothing of living on a Greek Island for 9 months eating cheese and bread and picking grapes etc. I always had a feeling that i wasnt "quite right" but i put this down to a number of factors and ignored the real problem getting drunk when i felt down.My friends , and i had a hell of a lot of them, were amazed at me and loved being with me as they thought i was a crazy girl and never dull. But i would flit all the time from being a total social crazy chick to a recluse. I got married eventually and then had a baby. She was about 3 days old and i went hysterical in hospital and completely crashed into some kind of psychosis.I was given prozac and had a health visitor and because i was so down, none of my friends or family would visit as they were scared of me. I managed to bring my baby up and got a little better and came off the prozac and went back to work. About 6 months into work i started to get wild panic attacks and walked out of 3 jobs screaming that money made the world go around and i wanted no part of it. All people were evil and i hated the world. My daughter is now in her teens and i had to give up work alltogether. My husband couldnt cope with me and started to get violent with me and so i split with him. My dad died and i since found out that he had also been suffering with bi polar but it went un recognised at the time. The entire family have put me in a box that says dont go near as she is mad.I have been on various drugs to stabilize me but i find that my moods are made worse in the summertime and im fine during winter. I have a fantastic psychiatrist on the NHS in England and she is from Russia so is like a god send. Dont know if this is of any help but you did ask lol. If you do feel like any of the above then go and get help, please dont sit in silence x

I would and she would probably want you too deep down.

Hi, i swapped cell numbers with a man who constantly sends me text messages 2 weeks ago. He says he is separated but hasnt called me, he just sends me lots of messages and im planning to meet him this weekend but have my doubts as to why he hasnt called. I am confused and i dont want to call him as i feel awkward.I have a feeling that all is not as it seems and if i try and ask certain questions he avoids the situation and changes the subject. What are your thoughts on this ?

Hi Helen and thanks for that, its made me feel "normal" again and i had never even looked at it that way but your probably spot on. I have travelled a lot when i was younger and lived in the usa and all over Europe as a nanny and grape picker etc etc and it made me open minded and strong as a person for doing so . I think thats a really good point you have made there. We, as women are far too quick to point the blame at ourselves. Catch you later. Im off to Prague tonight.

Dump the * * * *.

I could do that but i do know that i am probably what they call an alpha female. I am neither full on nor a push over and my profile is very basic. Im English and English men are a bit wet behind the ears and cant cope with strong women.

Yes and you can control how much you love yourself and so love yourself first. Its not selfish to love yourself because you will radiate love.

Sometimes, in, life. We all feel like you do. I dont think that therapists and self help books are the way to go. Sometimes, we have to heal ourselves and face up to the demons which have messed our heads up. This might be learning to switch off from the past and keep in the present, acknowledge our feelings and dont put them under the carpet.Hey, im English and we have a history of sweeping things under the carpet in this country and its not the way to deal with things. Face up to your anxiety and deal with it now ! Christ almighty ! i should be living in New Yoik lol

About 6 years ago, i got the internet at home. I had read so much about chatting to people from all over the world and decided to give it a go on a message forum that was in the UK. I met a lad from the USA by chance, he was the same age as me and this forum was not a dating site thing but more of a current affairs thing. We made friends and so me, himself and another bloke from the same part of America would chat about the world, politics and any old * * * *e. We would always talk on a Friday afternoon for about 2 hours in a 3 way convo. We all became really good friends and it was nothing sexual. They both met up in their state which was a big state but it was nano miles to them. We all kept in touch for about 2 years and suddenly, i realised that i liked the one lad very much. We were the same age (LATE 30S) and so we started to talk a lot .Its amazing how you can talk to someone on the other side of the world and share stuff that you wouldnt normally talk about to your pals. Anyway. We arranged it so that i could possibly meet them both but i got an email on Christmas day that told me that he had been found dead in his apartment. I was seriously upset and yet i had never had the chance to meet him and i had no idea that he had a serious drink problem. It just goes to show that we chat to people and dont ever really know how they feel or live. I did a test on the BBC site and according to it, i have a lot of emotional intelligence and yet i never did really know how he was feeling. I guess what im trying to say here is that we never will know . The internet is great but take the relationship into real life .If you feel then do it.

Well, i dont know how old you are but i say geeky blokes are far more interesting than sporty types. I think you should relax and go with the flow and look out for gals who you share things in common with. This could be anything from music to a fave movie. I was quite a shallow cow when i was younger and i married a looker but he turned out to be shallow and his looks faded. Start off thinking about the things you like to do and write them down and then really think about what you are looking for in a woman but most of all be yourself.

Hi, buy her some nice candy and a freaky looking plant. Tell her that you are taking her out but dont say where and then book a meal and get her a cd of a band she likes. Tell her that you really like her and surprise her with the cd first and then a plant afterwards.You sound really like a nice guy so good luck.

Hi Helen and thanks for your reply. Im very outgoing socially and i have no probs getting a bloke but i am sick of the local pubs and am not into clubs etc so i thought i would give this net dating a go. I am in Birmingham so theres a starter for 10 lol and i have a very strong Brummie accent so i guess they all take the mick but this bloke was only in Cheshire. What really annoys me is the fact that they all come on so sincere and nice and then you start to see through the veil of bull.... I have a big sign on my head saying "i love dorks so date me " How can i change ? Its getting so annoying now with them and i reckon that because im quite assertive they see me as a challenge but i dont want to compromise my integrity or settle for a no hoper. I am constantly attracting control freaks and i dont know why ?

I seriously should know better because i have read so many books on internet dating and it was kind of insidious the way he creeped upon me. I just re read my post and i feel like a total idiot for falling for it however, i am glad i have read the rules etc as at least i could see the warning signs before i fell for him and i am so glad i didnt sleep with him. Its so usefull on here and i wish i had found this site ages ago as it would have saved me a fortune in self help books.Thanks very much for your answers

LOL, I know what your saying but i have dated about 4 men like this and im beginning to think its me !

Hello im new to this site and was wondering if anyone can give me any advice please ? I met a man on a dating site about a month ago and we hit it off straight away. He was very happy and funny and was always very outgoing and chatty so we decided to take it offline and onto the phone. At first, i felt that he sounded a little different than i had expected but i put it down to him being shy. He made a few strange comments and was a little bit sarcastic but he put that down to his love of taking the micky and that he had a dry sense of humour so we arranged to meet up. I met him at a local place and we went for a coffee. He told me that i looked different from my picture and that my hair was thicker and asked me why i wore make up (i was only wearing mascara). He didnt say much throughout the date apart from to mock my accent and told me i talked too much but passed it off as a joke. I agreed to meet him for another date and so we met again and he was even more sarcastic and talked about sex and who he fancied on tv all day long. He told me that he definitely wanted to see me again but would i not wear eye make up. I went home and thought hang on a min ! So i told him that i found him quite insulting and that i would stop wearing eye make up only when i wanted to and that he shouldnt be so personal. He then told me i was making a big deal out of it and that he didnt care but as far as i was concerned it was too personal so i told him it wouldnt work out and left it. Since then, i have had a lot of very strange text messages from him . He starts off saying sorry and then starts being critical again. I ended up last night telling him to get lost and stiop contacting me. What i want to know is why do men chase after you and have a certain fixed idea of how they think you are all based upon a picture and then when meeting you, pick faults ? Its as if they have been staring at a poster of someone and then get angry when they meet you for not being who they have imagined you to be. Im not ugly and its a recent photo of me, but, why do they do this ? I am at an age where i accept people for who they are and not based upon a picture. Sure, if i had lied or given an old picture or said i was thin when i was fat then i can understand it but i look the same as my picture. I feel so angry that i keep wasting time talking to men who have created a person inside their own heads of how they want me to be and then they either bail out or pick faults with me.