Cenobyte

Hi everybody, i'm writing this for a friend of mine, who i've tried to help, but i know i can usually get good advice off of here so here goes. My friend recently came out of a troubled relationship, in which he fathered a beautiful baby girl. This relationship went down the drain however. This person has now met someone new though, who has a child of her own. This new lady has shown every sign of liking my friend, has even kissed him a few times (on the lips). Although if my friend decides to try and hug or show affection, the girl tends to close up and throw up emotional barriers around herself. Add to this the fact that he tell this lady everything, no secrets, and this lady seems to be able to open up to him, despite her being a very private person. Now i know that she has had trouble in past relationships, illustrated by the fact that she is a single mother, and also that she is a bit nervous of my friends ex, worrying if she is going to come back into the picture. She says that she needs time in order to make the right decision, and take things very slowly, but she does not seem to be making any progress at all in making a decision. Now I was wondering, what would you say my friend should do? He says he has fallen very much in love with this girl, and the waiting is driving him crazy.

I think you should get him to go see a doctor

My belief is that there is not a preordained soulmate, that at birth two people are destined to be together blah blah. My belief, is if you find someone you can surrender yourself to completely, and love absolutely, then a soulmate is created in that person.

If you argue and shout every time you try and resolve your problems, it says to me that the two of you have very different opions on how your problems should be fixed. My advice would be to move on. If tthis person really loves you, they will be willing to bend for you. If they are not, then they are not the right person for you.

One of the cornerstones in a good relationship is trust. If you trust her, then don't worry about it. Plus, even if she did get so drunk that she did not know what she was doing, if she loves you, she would not cheat on you. If she ever did cheat on you, its a sign the relationship probably wasn't going to work out anyway.

How long has it been since she broke up with her ex? If it hasn't been that long, maybe she is feeling guilty for hooking up with you so soon after she split up with him. Maybe she is also feeling guilty because she was with you on the rebound, and she thinks that she doesn't want to hurt you by having a rebound relationship with you, which sometimes don't go so well.

I am absolutley not going to leave her. She is NOT replaceable, she is the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. Just for everybodys info, thanks for taking the time to post advice, but i have since talked to my girlfriend about it, and things between myself and her are great. I have to admit that i was being a tad too possesive. Thanks anyway.

Its now 20 past midnight, and she's out with friends, and hasn't even sent me a quick text to tell me thatshe is okay, or what time she will be back

Thanks for the advice, it helps a lot. Although the thing that really gets me down, is, alhtough our relationship is only 9 months old, we spent most of those 9 months basically joined at the hip. i'm just worried that she is going to spend more and more time away from me, which would kill me.

but then i'd feel dreadful for excluding her from whatever i was doing

Hi everyone. I have a problem. I'm feeling more ad more neglected by my gf. She is spending more, and more time with her friends instead of me. These friends include her ex boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, i want her to have fun, and i want her to enjoy herself. I'm not concerned that she's gonna run off with her ex, i trust her completely. What bothers me is, 1. She goes out with her friends, and leaves me on my own, with bugger all to do, alone. 2. It feels like shes shutting me out, which i can't stand. She is onvolved in every part of my life(whether i like it or not), so why souldn't i be involved in every part of hers? I just feel like an outsider all the time, and its really doing my head in. She's out at the moment. With her friends. And i'm just sitting here, bored out of my skull. I hate being without her. So why do i never get invited to join her? Is she ashamed that i'm her bf? does she not want me to know her friends? I feel like shes growing away from me, and i don't what the hell to do, and its eating me up from the inside.