JpMcCravy

We have been married for 9 months, been together for five and our son is going to be 4 yrs old. And its been going on since before we met and continued throught our relationship.

he says he did it because I was cold and distant..I wasnt always, I had moments of showing affection, but it has always been a problem with me, not because I didnt want to, but because I didnt know how without fear of being rejected. I seemed cold and distant to everyone not just him. He told me that I had nothing to worry about with his online thing. He said it was all bs and it was just "innocent fun". And that I should have known this since he always came home to me, and it was me he slept next to each night. what he didnt understand was how confused he made me.

I wonder the same Kimmie, how he can move on soo easily.. what joyce said he is true i feel. he is looking for a soft landing to forget. He has had more time than we did...it has been a month for me and my situation is worse because we have a kid together so when I do see him it all comes back and feels like I am starting from square one. I get sick to my stomach thinking of being with someone else too. He is the one and only for me always will be. And i know people tell me that will change but I dont think so. I married him for a reason and the reason didnt matter to him. I tell myself that he just wasnt ready or grown up enough to handle marriage and a kid. I tell my self a lot of things like its better this way hoping one day that I will believe it. Hang in there, do what you have to do to get by...baby steps is right..one small step as another day passes.

feeling the same....and yes everyone is telling me the same..time heals..it will get better, your better off without him...but its all bs. I want him back too. I saw him yesterday and he told me he doesnt hate me, he loves me, he just isnt in love with me anymore...and then he kissed me. the week before he left he was acting as if he was.. hugs kisses, caresses..saying he loves me...it is all confusing. He has moved on quite well. I feel for you and I understand what you are going through. hang in there and perhaps we both will be better in time...lots of time.

No, we had not tried counseling, he didnt want to go. he wanted to work things our ourselves. I know all the things you say make sense, but that doesnt change the fact that I want him back. It wasnt horrible. We had a LOT of good times. He is a good man, hard worker, loving father. His online activities never stopped him from showing me affection. He never became distant in his show of love. I did however, I often pushed him away when he was showing me love. I know what I SHOULD do. but my heart just refuses to give up. Im just lost.

Hello, my husband left me a month ago and i am taking it pretty hard. We had problems but we were working on it, this is the second seperation in 4 months. The first time I told him to leave this time he left on his own. We both were doing things wrong and we both wanted to be right fighters. I was changing the things that he didnt like and he was slowly changing the things that I didnt like. basically our problems was him talking to women online in more than friendly way. Eventhough I trusted he wouldnt do anything in real life he did fall in love with someone online. His problem with me, and why he says he left is because I was always checking up on him. He says he was tired of all the accusations and me being suspicious. He also says I was controlling and this is what I was working on because I was. And I did check up on him. I was working on that, but I slipped and checked and he left. He says he is over and done. He just couldnt take it anymore. He says he doesnt hate me, he says he loves me but isnt in love with me anymore. The problem is I cant let go of him. we have one child together and I love this man so much. For me he is my soulmate, my true love my other half and I want him back. My mind tells me to give up and let him go since that is what he wants. I want him to be happy, and he says right now he isnt. My heart wont let go though. I need him, I love him. He is my everything. Any advice on what to do? I am trying this since I am about to breakdown on all levels. Is there hope or am I just lying to myself?