lonelymantonight

Four months after the breakup and 100% NC she is bragging to mutual friends about her new boyfriend. They said it is out of the blue and she starts talking about how great he is. On the anniversary to an important date for us she was telling my friends how great her new boyfriend is. My friend said that he totally got the vibe that she wanted it to get back to me on the date that had been special to my ex and I. If she is so happy why is she trying to take little digs at me? What do you think this means?

I was seeing this girl one time. We weren't technically boyfriend and girlfriend just sort of friends with benefits or more like unspoken commitment. I was busy with an internship at the time and made that my focus. She started to become distant and even stopped returning my phone calls. I said okay two can play at this. I completely cut her off. I just avoided her and concentrated on my internship. We never had a breakup fight we just both started being distant towards each other. She started seeing someone else. I became insecure and tried to talk to her but she wasn't interested. I then completely went NC not even knowing what NC was. After two months she called me in the middle of the night and basically started telling me how much she missed me. By that time I was interested in someone else. I brushed her off. She continued to call me every couple of months over the next couple of years to see how I was doing in my new relationship. There was a point in the beginning that I wanted her and couldn't seem to have her. There then came a point when I knew that I could have her but I didn't want her anymore. I try to remember this and apply this to my current situation but sometimes emotions cloud logic.

I have read a lot of posts on here and it always seems the same. The dumpee wanders how the dumper can move on so quick. All I'm saying is that maybe appearances can be deceiving.

I never once mentioned that a rebounder might come back. I am not trying to convince myself of anything. All I am saying is that instead of looking at a new person as a complete insult maybe that new person should be taken as sort of a compliment that your ex is struggling with the break up and it's not as easy as they might be letting on.

Okay I got a question on rebounds. From what I understand e rebound is a quick replacement to help distract and keep the person's mind off of the break up. If an ex goes on the rebound shouldn't that be some kind of reassurance that they are having a tough time with the break up? I used to think how could she hook up with someone so quick, she must not care. But I think actually the opposite is true. The fact that they have a rebound is a huge psychological sign. Anyone agree with this or have a opinion on this?

I have heard people on here say if they want you back then they will make the attempt. Although I agree its best for the dumpee to go into NC and stay there I don't think that the dumper has it so easy. I think that even on the times when they want to come back certain things keep them from doing so. For example PRIDE. Imagine if you dumped someone thought life was going to be so great and went off only to have your life sort of fall apart, would you be real quick to go back? Maybe you would want to but you might wander if the dumpee moved on, found someone new, hates you, etc. If you were the dumper and went back what would your family and friends say? Who would have the upperhand in the relationship once it got going again? I think that sometimes they might want to come back but don't know how. If they were trying to teach you a lesson, or get you to wake up would them crawling back be a good thing on their side, even if they wanted to come back? Also if you have been in long term NC you know how hard that is to break. Imagine the dumper who doesn't know what you are up to? Anyone else's thoughts?

My ex-girlffriend's brother told me that she looks at my My Space page all of the time. I'm not exactly sure why she is doing this since she is with a rebound right now. We were together for three years and have been split up for six months with absolutely no contact. Part of me thinks that maybe she misses me. What are your thoughts?

Crazyaboutdogs I know that I used her. I know that she was using me. I think that you are missing the point here. All I am trying to do is show the dumpee what happens on the other side. I lived the other side and I heard all of the things that she said about her ex. At first it was how different that they are, how they want different things, how if he cared he would have done this or that. This was mixed in with talk about how he really is a nice guy, how he deserves better, etc. She talked about him all the time. Sometimes she was saying nice things and sometimes she wasn't. My point is that he was always on her mind. He didn't know that because all he saw was that she was with me. Little did he know that he was always in her head. This is to let the dumpees know how there ex might be acting around their new boyfriend or girlfriend. Anyone else out there know of a similar situation?

Okay my turn. I met this girl who was ending a five year relationship. At first I was just interested in having sex with her so the other stuff didn't matter. She moved out of her ex's apartment and we started hanging out even more. Before she moved out she kept reassuring me that they were over and she couldn't wait to be done with him. I didn't really care. Like I said I was just in it for the sex. Almost as soon as she moved out she started missing him. She was making excuses to stop by his house or call him. I started to feel more for her but could see that she was still into him even though she was trying to pretend that she wasn't. She tried to go back to him almost immediately but he wouldn't take her back. I kept having sex with her and we good times but then she would go through little periods of depression. I knew that she would go back to him in a second if he would let her. The only reason she stayed with me was because he wouldn't take her back. This continued for a while and over time she really wanted her ex back. We ended up staying together for a couple of years but I assure you that the ex was always there even though he had applied NC. Our relationship ended and she went on to have a few more failed relationships. I think all of these years later that she would still take that same ex back.

How long was it before the rebounds fell apart? How long was your original relationship? Did you try to go back to your ex? Why or why not?

REBOUNDS Have you ever used a rebound to get over a relationship? Has someone ever used you as a rebound? What happened in the end? How often do rebounds fail? Why do they fail? Please share your own experiences and things that you have noticed about other couples.

DanMan, Did the initial break up seem hard on your ex? Mine seemed to have a really hard time with the break up and of course kept breaking NC. I have been NC for like 3.5 months now. She has not contacted me either.

The same reason everyone else on here broke up. I wasn't feeling appreciated, she was tied of trying when I supposedly was not trying. I think that boredom and the routine of life played a part in the break up.

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It has happened to me. not this time though. I have also known many people in my life that have gone through this. I have a theory which I will post later after more people have responded.

Did you ever meet someone and get along great only to have them run back to their ex? How long were you together? How often did they bring up the ex? Were you surprised that they went back or did you kind of have a gut feeling that they might do that?

Bro... She is cheating on you. I know you don't want to hear that but she is. Know this and take precautions to protect yourself.

I had to delete this one.

I had to delete this one

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I got this one too. It means nothing. Women change their minds from minute to minute. My friend got his one too while he was separated from his wife. She finally came back to him. If you hear this just look at her and say okay, then go eat a sandwhich. Don't try to over analyze anything they say.

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I felt like I had to delete this post