dyxy

My ex girlfriend (whom I'm still in love with very much) overdosed on laxatives last night. She's been taking them a lot (she has a history of anorexia and bulemia) and last night she took a ton. Does anyone know anything about laxatives? Also, her parents took her to Children's hospital last night, but she talked her way out of staying. What kind of people would not keep her, she's very skinny and I'm so worried. I don't know what to do. The only reason we're not together is because I'm going into residential treatment pretty soon. I just want her to be healthy, I don't know what to do.

So last night I overdosed, but my friend found out, came over and literally forced me to throw up. My mom found out and was unconcerned and we didn't even go to the hospital or anything, so I'm okay I guess. I'm just so depressed. It hurts me in class sometimes just to talk, and to smile. In religion class today we just were doing this project thing, and I just gave the group paper to someone else, put my head down and didn't talk for the rest of class. It just, I don't know how to explain it. Everything overwhelms me. Everything makes me want to die. My girlfriend is extremely anorexic (I know that she's bad for me, but I truly, deeply love her) and I found a picture of one of those models they show people to explain how bad anorexia can get. She cried when I told her I saw it in her purse and just explained to me that she wanted to be that skinny. She says she wants to be so skinny that people stare and say, wow she's effing skinny. That hurts me a lot too, and just added to my day of just being down. I just freaking wish this pain would stop. My mom is looking into a year long residential program now. I'm scared

Thank you Rose. Yes it is inpatient. Sorry. Forgot to mention that.

I have suicide attempts in my past and I dunno. Maybe I'm still suicidal? I think I am sometimes... sorry just thought I'd add that in.

So, I just got back from therapy and we (she) decided that tomorrow my parents would be coming in to therapy to discuss the possibility of long term residential treatment out of state. They will be going into the meeting not knowing what to expect. I'm scared and I don't want to go out of state, but I'm thinking, maybe it would be best for me? I mean, I got 25 stitches on Friday for cutting too deep. And I've been depressed for a long time. I don't know. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do/say in the meeting/opinions on whether I should go or stay? Thanks so much! -dyxy

hm. I like, I like. Keep writing. You have real talent.

Last night I was driven by a friend to the ER because I was scared that I had cut too deep. Turns out that three of my cuts were really bad and required stitching. I got 25 stitches all together. I have never cut this bad before. My mom was like freaking out telling me that she hopes it scared me so that I won't do it again. Here's my problem... no one has ever cared for me the way my friend's mom did when she drove me to the ER. No one has ever taken care of me the way the doctor did when he was stitching me up. It seemed like people cared, and I liked it. Is that really effed up? I don't think it was the attention that I liked, becuase I don't cut for attention. But... I don't know. I guess if I had to do it all over I'd still do it. Maybe I did learn a lesson? I don't know. -dyxy

ta ree saw- I'm too scared to check in on my own.

I have therapy tomorrow. I don't know how to tell my councilor... again... that I'm suicidal... any suggestions?

I was in the hospital for 23 days in May for trying to kill myself by overdosing on pills plus I was there to work on my cutting and such. I feel suicidal again and I'm cutting pretty badly again. I don't know how to tell my mom that I think I need serious help. My mother is not a very understanding person. For instance, if people find out about my being mentally ill, it means that they'll think shes a bad person, so, no one's allowed to know. I don't know if I want my parents to have to pay for another hospital stay since they're currently going through a separation. What can I do? How can I tell my mother that I feel like I need serious help? How do I tell my mother that her only daughter wants to die? Please help me.

but i don't want it to be done. we're still talking. hanging out. i love her. she's starting to get better. as am i. i just don't want it to be done. i know we'll get back together. i dunno.

I'm new to this forum but I thought I'd try it out to see what it's all about. I guess now is when I talk about my problems. I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 and a half months (actually about seven months but I'm counting from the day we took on the title of gf/gf) about a week ago. The circumstances behind my utterly painful decision delt with both of our mental healths. We're both cutters, and extremely depressed. She also suffers from anorexia and I have other problems aswell. (I'm diagnosed with major depressive disorder, borderline personality disorder, disthymic disorder *sp*, general anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder) When I broke up with her, I had just goten out of being in the psych ward for about 23 days (that's long for a short term psych ward) for suicidal ideation (I was there for that from the 9th-15th) cutting and attempted suicide (I was admitted to urgent care on the 16th for overdosing on 18080mgs of migraine medicine which has accetamenophin and asprin in it. I was released on the 31st). I decided it would be best for both of our sakes if we were apart for a while since I felt as if I was carrying her burdons. I don't know if she felt the same way but every time she didn't eat, every time she cut, I felt responsible. I let it get me a lot, and I thought it would be best for us to each focus on our own therapy, our own treatement for a while to try to get better. We didn't really talk for about 5 days, and then I invited her over to my house to hang out. We ended up making out and ... doing some other things. Then yesterday I snuck out to see her again (I'm 17, my parents dont approve of my sexuality). We're not really discussing our problems, more talking about other things and being ... physical (lol). I also have another friend that I'm kinda... into. It's my best female friend actually. We've kissed and she's coming over today to watch 'Requium for a Dream' with me. I know we'll probably end up kissing again, but this is just how I am when I'm single. I'm not even good looking. I just have charm, whit, and I flirt well. Anyway ... my question is... did I do the right thing? I still love her. I think about her all the time. I know she feels the same about me.