Shesa

Ah, I would have to agree with the previous poster. There is no excuse to not responding. * * * *, I don't even know you and I have written more than her. I'm also studying for the CA Bar Exam, have my own LDR who I see twice a week, etc. So, I don't think there is an excuse. I'm sorry, I really dont. Did I mention that I had another boyfriend who went to Ethiopia for a month AND managed to write me long emails while I was away AND manage to sleep with several women while he was there? Yep. If you sense something is wrong, it probably is.

I'd be mad too. By why are you mad? Because you really want to spend time with him, right? Because you love him? I think that you should try to be mad at the situation, not him. If you feel that his mistake is evidence of him not taking the relationship seriously, that is another matter. But if it was an honest mistake, he should be just as upset as you are. LDRs suck. Try to have fun when he is with you.

I'm in a LDR and I am 100% in love with my bf. I send him nice texts-- but I don't call him baby or babe. However, he calls me baby after almost every sentence he utters to me. I wondered if this bothered him (and after reading your post, I think I might just ask him). I just am sorta a goof when it comes to relationships (I havent had many) and I don't know if he would want me to call him "baby" etc. LOL. So, yep, I think I'm gonna ask him. So, to you, don't worry about it that she calls you by your first name. It means nothing. On a completely unrelated note, my friend's boyfriend calls her "Dear" and she HATES it-- but cant tell him because she thinks it will hurt his feelings because she knows he means it with utmost kindness. So, at least she isn't calling you some dumb pet name you hate. Anyway, it means nothing. If you have a good relationship-- just tell her you'd like her to call you babe or baby or whatever you want.

My advice to people... If you don't see the potential to marry him/her OR if you wont live in the same town soon (within 6 months)... don't do a LDR. As far as coping, stay as busy as possible and write letters to him when you can't communicate. You can either send the letters to him, keep them, or throw them away. I've been in several LDR and I've notice that sometimes when I am thinking I miss the person-- I'm just down and out period. Try not to depend on him for your happiness and try to think of the times you do get to see him as a special bonus.

I personally think not seeing your boyfriend for four months is the issue. If you can only see your boyfriend once everyone four months-- I'd seriously consider breaking up. It's just not fair. I'd be too depressed. Regarding the drive--- I'm in a LDR and my boyfriend lives 4 hours away. My car is a 2002--so it's not a real issue. You should ask a mechanic to check you car and give you advice on the probability of it breaking down. If you are driving in a populated area and your car is rendered "safe" by the mechanic, I'd go for it. If you have to drive through a desert or something where there are few exits/civilization... I'd try to take a friend with you. Hope it works out.

My appologies for all the typos.

Jazzygirl, I am new to this website and just read your post. Ironically, I typed up a very long scenario very simliar to yours-- but I hit a wrong button and it got "lost"-- eh-- anyway. Everything about your post reminded me of my past experience. But, since it is almost 2 am-- I will not re-write everything right now. Like you, I was a virgin, I had been drinking, and I thought I could trust the guy. I had no interest in having sex, etc. Also like you, I don't remember exactly how I ended up in his bedroom or exactly what happened. Unlike you, he took full advantage of my intoxicated state. I am now 25 years old and until recently, I was in denial and basically tried to convince myself that it was consentual. The sick thing is that I actually dated this guy (who was 25 years old at the time) for six months after it happened. I have been afraid to be open about what happened, because for some reason I feel that having been "raped" or "sexually assaulted" would make me look worse than simply having sex. I currently have an awesome boyfriend (he is only my second "real" boyfriend)--- so also like you, I am not that experienced with boyfriends, etc. Anway, my boyfriend could sense how guarded I was, etc. He wanted to know why. I just want you to know that things like that happen to good girls--- girls that are not looking for sex, etc. I beat myself up over the fact that I put myself in that situation--- but drinking waaay too much and by trusting someone I shouldnt have. It happens to the brightest of women, so dont worry you are not alone. I have a doctorate and I couldn't protect myself. Thankfully, I know a lot more now than I did then. However, it has made me more jadded and frankly its an experience that I'd definitely like to forget about it. But guess what? I forgot about it all these years (DENIAL) ... I forgot about it immediately after... and I still dont remember exactly what happened (Either severe denial or too intoxicated).... I'm just hoping that by posting this message, others will not feel alone, and that it will help me some-- to acknowledge that it happened. Because whether we like it or not, these crappy things that happen to us DO affect us. When I was first intimate with my current boyfriend-- I shook like a leaf. I was shocked at the fear that resurfaced. Stay away from this guy. You are very lucky. Best