Jylaine
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Everything posted by Jylaine
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I must say that you have to let him make the choice. If you force him to make a choice between smoking and you I'm afraid that he will pick you and smoke behinde your back. My ex hated smoking so much and he made me quit but I never really did, I cut back and only smoked behind his back which is way worse. Smoking is a habit and like any habit you cannot be forced to stop you have to want to. I went on the patch only because my mom wouldn't stop nagging me about the smoking and it didn't help me at all, once again because I didn't want to quit. My father smoked for 46 years and just up one day quit because he finally wanted to. It was a struggle but he did it. Smokers will quit when they are ready not because a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, friend, family member, etc. bugs them about it that is just annoying.
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Yes I believe that you would have to take a double take haha...I was just feeling frustrated when I kept reading how everyone said I should use caution while making the choice to marry him or that I should postpone the wedding. When I made the first post I was looking for suggestions on how I may be able to cope or suggestions on how I may be able to improve the current situation. I was not asking if I should or should not get married to him. So thanks wildchild...
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Well my fiance hates hair. I think the younger generation of females shave because that is what we seem to think is wanted. I myself don't like hair on males either I think it is better to just keep yourself neat and clean. I leave a little strip down the middle and have done that for years i think my man loves it.
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Wildchild I am sorry your posts were awesome. I thought about you after I hit reply. Tyler read what you wrote and thought you were bang on. So thank you very much for all the things you wrote and for your advice.
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Alright where to start....we just got back from a 20hr road trip together which means a lot of time together alone and time to talk. We spoke aout how I was feeling and he understands. He was raised in a home that wasn't affectionate where I did. We have different backgrounds and it's okay. He is working on being more affectionate with me and I can see that. If I made it sound as though he never touched me I am sorry because that isn't the case he does. It is just more on his watch. When he wants to he does. He told me he just doesn't think about it. When we moved in together it was because we loved eachothers company, which we still do, I am sure that I am not just going to marry him because I have a need to be in a relationship, I am going to become his wife because I love him, all of him! I hear what you all are saying and thank you but you don't know the whole story. Not one of the postings seemed to be a positive one. Not one gave me advice other than to be careful or to postpone the wedding which to me is not kool.
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Okay I need to reply to this one...I thought beachgirl your post held some very good points however I will be going forward with the wedding and we will have a happy healthy marriage. It really isn't that bad, go ahead say I am blind and have my head in the sand that is fine this relationship will work. If you think that in order to hold a healthy and happy relationship you need to be 100% compatible you are sadly mistaken. There are no two people alike and the way that I see it is that all relationships take work and I do believe that some of it is hard work. I do believe that our honeymoon period is over and I am seeing some other things in Ty that I may not have seen in the start but thats okay. He is not affectionaite and I am wow that means we should postpone a wedding that we have worked so hard to plan I do not think so. Thank you for your thoughts. I am able to go up to my fiance when I need a hug and he will give me one, when I want to sit by him I will go and sit by him, when I want to hold his hand I will hold his hand. I don't need him to always be the one to initiate the contact. I think I have solved my own problem. And just for info. we are going into premarital couselling so I think that is a good step for us and we will be just fine.
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Easyguy you are awesome at this you must love music too
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I am listening to some Jim Brickman stuff right now he's a piano guy and it sounds really pretty. Not at all rock but that's okay....I am loving all these suggestions thanks a million and keep 'em coming
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HAHAHA let's groove oh my word...hilarious...I love all these suggestions however...I am looking for something a little more romantic haha this is to walk out of the church too...I am sure we will bust a move to all these wonderful tunes at the reception
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I just wanted to say from the younger sister point of view...I am 22 and getting married in June to a man I am inlove with and my sister she is 30 and seems to get hurt time after time...we talk about it and I know she is happy for me but struggles but we both realize that our lives are not the same and we have taken two very different paths..My suggestion to you is to talk to you sister get involved with the wedding the best thing to do is to laugh and get into the spirit of it all...I am sure your sister realizes that even though she is happy and getting married that you may not be. I know I sure thought about how my sister would feel. She has supported me 100% and she tells me now that she would be more unhappy if she secluded herself and didnt get involved. You will find yours when the time is right....don't write off love yet just because you haven't found it yet...it usually comes when you least expect it.
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hahah rollercoaster love would be awesome!!! love it....I would also like to mention that I do like romantic music too....I am walking down the isle to josh groban you raise me up and I LOVE that song i get shivers every time i hear it...
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we are both music lovers of all sorts however we are both rockers at heart...if anybody has heard of Clutch that is what my fiance would have if we weren't getting married in a church hahaha...so we are getting married in a church and they will let us play our music as long as it is "clean" which is why I would like to find some songs with no words...
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Thank you for the suggestion but I think its a little bit to traditional and classical sounding for me....I will give you an example of some of the music we are using...we have some instramental metallica (nothing else matters) and also i was looking at a kareokee version of some guns 'n' roses
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Well...for me my fiance and I had only been dating for 5 months but we both new the first week we were together that we wanted to share the rest of our lives together....Tyler took me to Mexico for his bestfriends wedding (he was the best man) we spent 6 wonderful and romantic nights together and on the 6th day the wedding took place and at the end he caught the garter (how perfect). He took me on a romantic dinner cruise the 7th night, there were only couples we had wine and a wonderful dinner were we had a sax player play beautifuly we shared a dance and then made our way home. We went to our room and I was exhausted but Ty wanted to go for one last walk on the beach. So at midnight he took me down by the ocean where we shared some thoughts about the future and some of our goals he then pointed out a star in the sky and when i turned to look at him he was down on one knee holding out this amazing ring I was so shocked and speechless...all he said was "babe marry me". Of course I said yes. The next morning I found out that every one knew he was going to ask me on that night. I guess there were a few times were people just about told me and a few times I came close to finding the ring...Now we are getting married in 86 days June 17, 2006 CANNOT WAIT!!!
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I am getting married in exactly 86 days and am so excited!!! I am having a little trouble finding the perfect song to walk out of the church arm in arm with my new husband to. We are both music lovers and in my opinion music helps make the moment...neither of us are that into country or the traditional stuff. I would prefer something without words. Any ideas????](*,)
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My fiance and I have been going through a bit of a rocky time but I have faith that things will get better in no time...He is away at work for a week and when he comes home I would like to have a special night with him maybe bring back some of that spark and freshness...any suggestions?
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Man you guys are good....I appriciate all the advice and think it's wonderful to have a site such as this to hear other peoples thoughts. I feel as though Tyler and I need to have another serious sit down talk about all that I am feeling. unfortunately he is out of town for work for a couple of days, maybe that is a good thing, to give me time to really ponder what I will say and how I will approach this subject in a calm way. I must tell you all that we moved our relationship along very quickly and haven't been apart since our first date and maybe that is part of the problem as we didn't really have a dating period. I moved in after a week and haven't left. This week will be the longest that we have ever been apart. A good thing? I think it is so. I want to make a wise choice and have a healthy relationship with my man and in my heart I feel as though we can. We are starting our premarital courses next month maybe we can figuare more things out there....
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Im sorry hope but you have got it all wrong....I want to marry him because he is my bestfriend...there is more to a relationship than just affection. I realize that it is a big part of it. He doesn't say he doesn't know how to hug me, hold my hand, sit by me, etc. he says he can do that, does it for a short time the goes back to his old ways. I apologize if I gave you the wrong idea in my previous posts. I know exactly what I want and I have no doubt that he can give it to me it will just take major effort and I will be d*mned if I just give up because ya'll say he won't change. That is pretty pathetic if you ask me.
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I have been keeping a close watch on all my cycles and writting it all down. I would like to know because at some point i would like to have a child and without understanding my cycle it is hard to know when the rightvtime to try is. I will go to the dr. though
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Oh agreed raykay feeling wanted gives me strength...when Ty and I talk about how I am feeling he says he understands where I am coming from and wants to help make me feel more wanted. He asks me to tell him what to do to help and I tell him I just need little things like holding my hand when we go out, hugging me when I am feeling down, sit by me when we watch tv, etc...it's like he gets it but doesnt know how to be like that. He certainly was affectionate when we first started dating.
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I am a 22 yr old female who has always had irragular periods however this time it is a little extreme...So far it has been 43 days since my last period instead of the "normal" 28 days. I am unsure what is going on and what the reasons could be. I have a sexual relationship with my fiance however I have taken 2 tests both of which have been negative and have none of the typical signs of pregnancy.
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Yes a lot of marriages end up in divorce however I am entering this knowing what I am up against. I feel like I can deal with his lack of affection but to tell you the truth there is a tiny part of me that fears it will cause me pain. But hey who knows. All I can do is pray that God will help is through all the hard times and hope I can learn from it all. I want Tyler to realize how much it does make me feel unwanted at times. Especially at times when I am feeling down and out but we will work on it together as a team.
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Wow wildchild I think you've nailed it on the head...I believe you are so right in saying what you've said. I think I am getting pre-wedding jitters...I think that I can deal with the lack of affection and I have no problem letting him know that it hurts me when he seems to rather give attention to his own hobbies and forget to hug me or give me a kiss...I don't think he can change over night nor do I think he will change any time soon but non the less I love him for many reasons and enough reasons to want to spend my life with him. Thanks
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We are going through a tough time but that being my need for more affection and minor normal relationship issues. I thank you all for your individual replys and have takin them all into consideration however i will be going forward with my wedding plans as i do love my fiance and cannot wait to be his wife although at this point i do not feel happy due to the lack of affection but hey I can go get a hug from my girlfriends and we can carry on..haha
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I have a lot of thoughts running through my head right now and am feeling a little unhappy...we have lived together since 3 weeks of being together we have moved fast and both have the same dreams, morals, goals, values and ideas and hopes for the future...I feel as though I would be throwing away the most amazing thing if I don't let this affection thing go. I realize that there will be a part of me that misses the affection but I think I will be just fine in the long run.