ICEshortie

blehh, and all that rubbish. I dont neccesarily believe someone has to have SEX to fall in love... I do believe in saving myself for someone special... physical attraction is nothing compared to that mental/spiritual connection. Networking online isn't very uncommon now adays. The guy that I work for now, i've also met him online, he pays me even before the project is complete. arghhh im just so confused as to why i cant be happy about him being with someone else. i realize the idea of a romantic relationship is impossible right now, but why am i still upset.

does his gf know? probably not, will i keep in touch? probably not, I wanted to at first, but now im thinking its not a good idea. but i may see him around campus in the summer, i dunno. if you've read my previous posts about whats been going on, its pretty self explanatory. But yea I deffinatley saw him a LOT differently after the email. Sooo what I didn't expect.

Was he shy? No not at all. But did he want me? Yes... badly.... I didn't say anything to him the last day I saw him, but I still neede closure so I wrote him an email. Since everyone who goes to the college is assigned one, I sent one to his, probably shuold have done that earlier, would have saved aggravation and heart ache, but anyways I told him how I apologize for not speaking with him after the note, and how it was hard for me, all that jazz. A nice lovely letter. He wrote back saying... How he should have told me sooner, but he has a girlfriend. He said "the fact is I live with her... I think you are very pretty and I would date you in a heartbeat, if only I were single. I have often thought about how good it would feel to hold your body against mine and other stuff, im flattered that you want me....keep in touch." So basically he was preventing himself from doing something badd if you know what I mean. The look in his eyes was basically staring at someone he couldn't be with, and having thoughts about someone other than his girlfriend. I guess he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me. Although if he didnt look at me the way he did in the first place, I wouldn't have tried to express my attraction, I only wanted to be his friend at first, and I would have found out eventually about his gf, but I didn' want to find out like THIS. Now to be friends with him would be awkward because of the latent feelings behind the friendly "hello's". It wouldn't be right to continually be exposed to the person who makes you think of thoughts of intimacy other than his girlfriend. I was heartbroken, but I'm much better now, this happened on Monday . So I'm over it. At least I can move on now with closure

if he doesnt want to cause me pain, he should have talked to me... instead of leaving me thinking it was something I did. sigh.... but shyness is so agonzing so i understand. But gosh, maybe if i back up and and try not to look at him as I do, let him know im not gonna be trying at him forever, and try to ignore him. i dunno.

if he knows, why hasn't he said anything I mean i was the one who actually showed up at his class and handed him a note. because of his outgoing personality, Atimes it seems he doesn't care, and then sometimes I see that all he can do is stare or get nervous. At least ive tried... 2 weeks ago on tuesday I walked down his hallway like i always do just to try and talk to him, As soon as he saw me, he stopped chatting with his friends and started pacing around nervously. then he came out of the group a little, and walked towards my side where i would be passing them, and kinda separated himeself from the group. and as I walked by him [ 2 feet away from each other ] we stared at each other...again, i tried to smile, but it was a pretty nervous smile, all he could do was continue to stare back, w/ those same eyes..., and I looked down and kept walking. I wanted to kick my self for not speaking, but I was lost for words. I didn't know what else to do or say... It was terrifying. then just this passed tuesday, my class ended an hour and 30 mins early so i had time to contemplate what i was going to do. since his class is directly facing the building's lobby and its the closest room to the lobby, I decided to stay there the whole time and wait for him. everytime im even by his door i get so nervous, so i stopped a friend of mine and started chatting with her the whole hour and a half, and my fear eventually went away. you know whats also weird. without even having to see him yet, i felt something was wrong with him, like he was in that room and he was unhappy. i dunno why, i just had this gut feeling, something felt dry. So anyways, the class is finally over. And the first one to leave the classroom happens to be HIM. I knew he was unhappy... i saw it on his face... he usually leaves the class with a friend, chatting and associating. As soon as I turn around, he see's me, he tries to smile, but it was that whatever/nervous smile I gave him last time I saw him. And he nodded his head up. As soon as I saw him, I jumped out of my seat, dropped half of my books, and told the girl I was talking to, that I had to go. I ran towards where he was going, but he went str8 into the bathroom , which the bathroom is 10 feet away from his classroom. I dont think he really had to use the bathroom, it was like he went in there just to go there. So i was like... great... I went back to the lobby, picked up and packed my books and walked towards his way, and I stop walking so me and the girl start chatting infront of the mens room door. He comes out of the bathroom, see's me talking to the girl as im about to sum up our conversation, he avoids eye contact, then goes the opposite way of where he was going. Stops at his classroom door, waits and paces for 5 seconds, turns around and starts heading towards the way he was walking before, (the hallway we always walk down) and i say bye to my friend and start to walk his way aswell. he continues walking down the hallway, very slowly I might add, like he wanted me to catch up or something... but i couldnt do it. i was literally 2 feet behind him, and i knew he knew i was directly behind him, just how i knew that time he was following me. for those who have no idea what im talking about, this has been going on for some time now. On my part, i haven't lost interest, but ive lost motivation. Like thinking should I quit or not. because the term is over, and i may have lost my chance, but final exam week is next week, i may see him again, i may not. i dunno.... hoping all of this is worth it. never had to go this extreme just to talk to someone, im usually more forward and prone to walk-up/talk-up, but this is crazy.

When a guy seems to really like you, But you both seem shy around each other. and you haven't been able to talk to each other, that it just gets frustrating. Does he lose interest? Or does he still really like her but feel there's no chance because he hasnt been able to step up, neither has she, but he's seen that she has tried to step up? What if that girl was to spontaneously tell him why she hasn't been able to talk to him, about how she didnt mean to act rude or anything, it's just that it was hard for her. Would he get the message that she was just shy and really likes him too? would that rekindle anything? would he see her more respectfully for that? Look at POST BELOW As well |||||||| \/\/\/\/\/

since I'm in college, I'll probably see him during summer term... if he's even signed up for summer classes. But Im not going to depend on that.... i have a feeling that once we start talking, he'll be the one to ask out, he just needs a little push. but we'll just have to see.

I see him in school tuesdays and thursdays. nah he's not on myspace, i tried that I've seen the girls who know him, but I wouldnt be comfortable asking them for anything... Nah I've never talked to him before. but we did share a class together last term. The only words he's ever said to me happened to be "thank you"..., "thank you"... and on occasion "thanks". which is unfortunate, because he sure as heck could talk to everyone else just fine Would I be able to say hi? I haven't been able to say anything... BUT since its my last chance to see him, I'm deffinatley gonna have to say a lot more than just a "hi" if I want to see him again. No matter how nervous I am.

aww i only have about a day or two left to talk to this guy. it feels awful how nervous i got when I tried to, and when i just SAW him... i felt as if I could never try again. but I know I have too....

I need to be in your mind for a second and see what goes on. Why so flustering if you like this girl, have a good idea of her liking you back, but still soo shy to approach her yourself.... is it uncertainty? intimidation? rejection to painful because your becoming attached? does making eye contact with her repeatedly make the shyness more intense and arouse more emotions? if when you make eye contact with her, you cant even smile like the "invitation" way your supposed to, you just stare into her eyes with a dear in headlights look, and arent able to say a word? do you get chills just thinking about meeting her eyes again, but afraid of not being able to say anything... again? when your looking at her, you look only at her eyes, and dont care much for checking out lips, body, erogenous areas, is it really more intense? what do you feel when some how, the two of you always know where each others eyes are going to be. you turn around, she's there and immediatley your eyes are fixated? everytime you see her you never miss staring into her eyes? how are you feeling about her at this point? You've followed her once just to see her, and your eyes met again, and you go there a second time just to meet her eyes again. Do you think about this person alot because of it? Do you feel like you know this person? How would you feel if you missed your chance of approaching her, will you regret it or forget it? shy guys...all guys... whats going through your minds??

yea you were right the first time. We kinda know each other cuz he was in my class, but we've never met.

its when you and another soul in heaven vibrate at the same energy levels and have the best connections with each other, and promise to marry each other when you get to earth to help each other progress further into higher energy levels.... *cough* welll....metaphorically that's how I see it.

i have all of these feelings described, and i havent even talked to the person yet

join the club, we've got jackets. im still on the same boat hun, hoping to over come it within this week.

Wow its contagious. yea with my similar situation... i wish i woulda said hi at least... Cuz now he doesn't even glance at me like he did.. But its not too late I hope!! and as for you as well, maybe if you go out of your way just to talk to her, she may forgive you! That's what im hoping anyways

Yayy! We're in the same pitt!! Doesn't the cold shoulder just feel just delightful?? Let's fight this together!

yea i read that thread actually, thanks! they do have alot in common!! I guess I can just verbally say to him what i put in the note... I know i fear being speechless but... I also know that I should never let my fear grow stronger than my faith. Fear is in the mind, and faith is in the heart. Fear will always tell you what you can't do, faith will tell you what you can do. And if you have faith in what's in your heart, you can do anything!! And i know for sure that I'm capable of carrying on a good conversation, it's just that my shyness gets the best of me atimes. But im determined to go the extra mile!

well I wanna go up to him and actually talk to him this time... but im afraid of becoming speechless... but ive been contemplating on meeting him before class, and telling him that i need to speak with him after class... I wanna apologize to him for walking away insteading of saying something, i wanna tell him that sometimes people mistake my awkwardness and timidness for being rude and avoidance, and that I'm not that type of person to tell him one thing, and then do the exact opposite. EDIT

yea i see him once or twice a week. I would like to build up the flirting again slowly, but there's only a few more weeks till this term is over, I dont wanna be too late. thanks, it took a lotta courage for me to do that. nah I was just wayy too shy. I wasn't playing with him at all, but I can see how he probably feels that way.

your absolutley right.... the both of you....wow... the tuesday i saw him after i gave him the note, it was like my face obtained rigormortis and i couldn't even smile... I just need some sort of a forgiveness proposition. Because I know im frustrated about the situation, and he's probably frustrated as well and has given up. It's like I almost hate him, but deep down I really don't. I'd still give anything just to talk to him, and would fall for him over and over again. Gosh I thought i was the only retard doing something like this... not that you're a retard, but im just saying, it's difficult. God bless you guys for replying... it's deffinatley something to think about... But what should I do now? Should i go back to his class and ask him if I can talk to him? I'd rather us talk one on one, ya kno? Cuz he's always around those girls... or some friend...

I'm a girl who is seeking to know what's going on this guys mind that I fancy.... This may be long, but it feels like I'm in a chick flick movie.... So let's assume your a guy, in college who goes to class with this girl on tuesdays and thursdays, you've made long eye contact with her one day. she came into class late, and the two of you happened to look into each others eyes and hold eye contact for about 4 seconds and then she cut the eye contact and looked down and continued towards her seat. Your a very outspoken confident guy, you like to associate with people. Like bringing some life to the class room, got a sense of humor. but one day you try to glance at her from accross the room during class, you lean back in your chair and look towards her way smiling, and she notices and she's smiling aswell. Also, one day, students are handing up papers, you are your usual self, associating with people around you, until you turn around and see the girl right behind you, look directly into her eyes for one second, then quickly hesitate and turn away and continue on to your seat. You still haven't talked to this girl, though you've talked to others around you, but you've seen her laugh at your jokes every once in a while. So... the last day of class, you come into school looking your best. Nice button down shirt, gelled hair, you still havent talked to her, so that term ended a miss... But... The spring term starts, and on your second day in class, a tuesday, class ended you come out and you see her walking accross the hallway, and the two of you literally cross paths again, she see's you come out from your class room, you guys made brief eye contact, with shifty eyes. you looked at each other, looked away, then at each other, then away, as you kept walking away... you figure she has a class in the same building as you, so you'll see her next tuesday. and you did see her, she was down the hall fixing some papers in her binder, looks like it fell out. but as you come out of your class, a friend of yours, a lady friend comes up to you and hugs you. The girl that was down the hall looks up and see's you hugging this girl with a concerned curious look on her face. And you notice her looking, You then say bye to your friend and walk the opposite way of where your friend is heading and quickly go for the door. you then see the girl the following tuesday, she's walking down the hallway, so instead of going through the door you went through last week, you end up following her, and walk towards her direction. She turns and looks over her shoulder and see's you, then turns and faces forward again and continues to walk. You guys are just walking and walking, there are 2 people in between the two of you, but they branch off and go into the parking lot, and the two of you are just there still walking, until finally she heads towards the entrance of another building, but before she completely goes in, she turns and the two of you are looking at each other again for a long time while your walking to the parking lot infront of the building, and while she's going inside the building. Sooo... next tuesday, you walk down that same hallway she went through again... you walk outside and INTO that building you saw her go into last week, you see her come out of the bathroom and she see's you, but has a suprising look on her face, quickly looks down and continues to walk away... Soo you dont walk that way the following tuesday. instead you walk with two of your friends, just associating with them or whatever.... the week after it just so happens that tuesday is valentines day. Your dressing rather down today... hair outta place and ungelled. Wearing a gray sweat shirt. people are still walking around, handing out valentines with the little candies on it, walking up and down, and something surprising happens, she shows up at your class, and says your name and walks up to you while your sitting down. you couldn't help but to look into her eyes again, and she says "wait..." while she opens her purse, your still looking at her and she hands you a note and says "here...", you say thank you and she leaves the class. the note says your name, and that she wishes she would have talked to you sooner, but its better late than never, and how she remembers you very well from her class last term, and she always found you interesting and hopefully she'll talk to you soon. soo... next tuesday comes, you dress better than you did last week. you gel your hair, got a new shirt on. your walking with a lady friend of yours and you see the girl walking towards your direction, you see her, she see's you as well, you stop at the junction where the two of you would cross paths while your still talking with your friend, but the girl looks the other way and continues to walk... so the next tuesday, you don't even get to see her, nor do you see her the following tuesday, she didnt even walk down that hallway. but then you end up seeing her on a thursday, which you had no idea she had that class tuesdays and thursday, your talking with another lady friend, you turn around and see her, she's a few people behind you, but you continue walking and talking with this girl, and then head another direction and walk around the building, and you go to the entrance where the girl usually comes out of, and your talking with about 2-3 lady friends, and you see her, but continue talking to those other girls. the girl walks through the doors and just... walks to her destination, doesnt even make eye contact. the tuesday after next, since it was spring break, she comes out those doors again, and you see her, you two dont make eye contact or anything. it's like she doesnt even exist to you anymore... Now back to my Point of View... what should I do to let this guy know that I'm just shy and not neccesarily blowing him off... I want to talk to him, but everytime I try to, he's talking to someone. I want to go to his class again and ask him to come out so I can talk to him, but I dunnoo... And like now that we dont even make eye contact or anything, everything is just a dud now. After reading what I just wrote... I can see why he's doing what he's doing... but if he's so outgoing and sociable, why hasn't he talked to me yet??