dr_skier
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Raykay you're right, spot on to what i think as well. It hurts so bad though. I drove home from work late tonite and all i wanted to do was pull over at her exit and go to her house and hold her in my arms. Common sense prevailed and i didn't and i know i'll get through this. We're exchanging stuff on sat at some point, i'll make that quick. I really dont want to write her out of my life forever. I know a clean break is the best way and that is what i have done and will stick too. I really hope time away from our relationship puts things in her life into focus as well. I hope i find answers for myself sometime too. I know everything she said the other night was all emotional, and it killed me. Even this morning she sends an email saying what a horrible gf she's been and how she hopes I find someone who can make me as happy as i deserve (more emotional manipulation). I basically ignored them. Truth is I do love her and she is an unblelievable person, but as for me and her and as for now it cant be. We started this thing about a month or so into our relationship where when we didn't have a sleepover or if i had to work late we'd text eachother goodnight right before bed. Well this is the first time in over a year i dont have any message whatsoever from her at this time. I feel like i'vel lost myself in all this.
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well i thought the morning would bing some peace of mind but it hasn't. I thought its supposed to be easier for the person initating the break. I'm a mess.
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Well she threw herself at me and begged her to stay. She physically blocked my exit. I tried to explain things i tried to be clear. She backtracked on everything she's ever said. She begged me not to leave her alone. She asked me to stay just for the night and promised not to say a word but just to be there. I asked her what difference it would make if i would leave then or in the morning. She said that perhaps i'd change my mind. She said that when two people love eachother they help eachother and find a way. She said if I left she never wanted to speak to me or see me again. She said she's wasted the last year and half and that she hates me. I had to pull over to throw up on the way home, though there is no food in my stomach to do that as i havn't eaten today. I second guess myself as i sit here typing wondering if i'm going to be one of those old guys alone looking back saying I had the one and I lost her. I can't live life with regrets though, I cant ignore the way i've felt the way we've argued and the situation both our lives are in. I still love her with all my heart, i doubt that will soon change. Whats the next step here folks, i need some help.
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god this seems so surreal.
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Well for anyone else who's been reading, feel free to chime in (as the title says some words of support are welcomed). I just spoke to my parents who are out of town and both of them agreed with everything and shared similar sentiments, so its nice to know people who are old and wise whose opinions i value share similar views. I'm off to the airport to get her now, this should be a miserable experience, she told me the other day she bought me and my sisters presents from nyc. So i pretty much feel as bout as * * * *ty as i ever have. I am expecting an awful repeating convosation that goes nowhere until she says something like if i leave tonite she never wants to speak to me again; god i'm already choking up now. I guess if life didn't have its ups and down's it'd be a pretty boring existence. I'll update this thread later tonight.
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I have one good buddy who says take a break and see how it goes but dont loose her cause finding a good girl who's this attractive and loyal and that i love doesn't happen all the time. Another good buddy says to make it a clean break and not play any 'kind of together games' cause it leaves both people feeling cheated on.
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It's actually a horrible situation right now, i started to bring this up (the slowdown part) before she left on a 10day vacation with her gf to newyork. She gave me her car for the time and i have to pick her up from the airport in a couple hours, i offered to pay for a cab and drop her car off at her house but she doesn't want that. I bascially told her everything yesterday, how i felt, what i needed to do and her responses were how i indicated above. She said she feels misled and unloved but ya know who feels misled is me after i listen to her backtrack on subjects that she held such a hard stance. And to her credit she has never "pressured" me into the marriage topic or the moving out topic - so she thinks; but you know as i said i know it's in her head with comments like "such and such would be a great place to live" or "i'd think this is what we should have at our wedding" (a comment that has come up frequently). And i guess i'm at fault as well because i never really opened my eyes to see just how much she had her sights set on the future when sometimes i can't see past my nose. Sigh this is all very confusing yet so simple too. I left my car at her house so i can get out of there once i drop her off. She sent me texts while she was away telling me about the gifts she bought me. I feel like a complete * * * * * * *; i mean i've done some slimey things in my past but it's never hit my gut like this. Part of me thinks i should say i cheated on her, give her a reason to hate me, i just wish it was easier. I wish she could see how taking a break would be good for her to think things through as well.
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To make a grossly long story short here we go. she = 25 (almost 26) me = 22 She = carrer-teacher me=student (last year of undergrad) i've felt for a while that we are both at different places in our life. We've been together for over a year and i do love her to death but i just feel like i cant be with her anymore. We've talked about marriage, moving in toghether etc and i hit a wall a few weeks ago and realised that i'm only 22, when i grad next spring i have no idea where i'll go for work (where the money is), i dont know if i want to travel or go work somewhere exotic etc etc. I honestly just had all these things planned out and i instantly felt the walls starting to close in on me. It started i guess when her gf asked her what part of town her and i would like to live in. she's lived with a roomate all year and is now movinig home to safe up money to buy a place. I have told her that marriage and moving in and all that stuff is so far out of my line of sight that i cant even speak about it. At least i thought i did, i guess i'm at fault for not being more clear from an earlier point. I'm taking an above average course load (6 classes) i'm on two comittees, and i work 25hours a week at a restaraunt. You see whenever i've mentioned anything about the future such as moving to alberta (from bc) for work, she's said she'd never go. Whenever i've ever mentioned travelling or anything she said she refuses to do the distance thing and would break up with me. So i came to the conclusion that we are at completley different points in our life and that I need to take some time off to get my head on straight. She is very very upset. She now says that moving away with me isn't out of the question and neither is letting me travel. But why would i want her to do something she dosen't want to do just for me, she'd only end up unhappy. I seriously just feel so sufficated and that some of my hopes and dreams and aspirations are being taken away from me and i'm left to follow her life plan for us. I love her but i need to take a break, i need to figure things out. Better yet I need a break for HER to figure things out and see if she wants to be with someone who isn't ready for this level of committment. I try to ask her if she understands me at all and im not sure she does. I try to explain that some time off is probably better then me graduating, getting scared and jumping on a plane the next day ya know. I dont know what to do, this is the longest relationship i've ever been in. BLAH.
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bud, it's probably preformance anxiety. Go to your doc, he has sample pacs of viagra, cialis etc, perhaps u just need a little jumpstart
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Don't put so much thought into it!!! You say you love him, you say he's a great guy, you're also 19, what more do you need? LOL, im not sure if u want to talk to your mom BEFORE you have sex, then again girls and guys are different. Be safe and have fun, go get laid!
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Ok folks, Who cares how many people someone has slept with. Yes I care how many guys my gf has slept with and I have a huge double standard. But you also have to know the past is the past and to live for the present. I've slept with 79 girls. I'm 22. Admitting that to my respectivly angel of a gf was hard to do, but honesty is probably the best thing. Luckily most of these were in another city so we dont run into them all the time. This fact bothered her for quite sometime. But I got tested for her and tested clean and I told her the fact is I'm with you know and this is where I want to be and I'm more satisfied then I've ever been. And that was the end of that topic.
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Ya, that's likely what'll happen, these tablets suck, why coudn't they be oral. They completley gross my gf out and really make the idea of intercourse unappealing. And even for me, a guy who isn't easily grossed out, even i'd almost rather hold off.
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Yes, Vaginal tablets. - ps didn't have sex last night, my gf is so grossed out by how it is down there so we just did other stuff instead.
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well i took my dyfluken tab. My gf says her infection really isn't that sore anymore but dont worry she'll take the 10 tabs until it's done. The pharmisist said that we could have sex as long as i wore a condom to prevent transfer again. We might give it a try tonight.
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well if she switches pills aren't condoms just fine? hehe or the ol' farm-boy pull out tactic?
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Ok, so I went for an std test and she went to the doc. I was given a dyfluken pill just in case. Her doc examined her and said she's red and a swollen inside but he thinks it's just yeast, so he's putting her on a ten day treatment that's an 'inside her' treatment. anyways, my gf figures we should use condoms while shes on this med, i guess i agree, but then we found out the application method and that it isn't just a pill and she doens't know if we should be having sex or not. I'll ask the pharmisit later when i pick up the prescription i guess. What do you guys figure? I really hate not having sex and fooling around, its been a week and we've both been busy too, just sucks is all. I got kinda mad the other day and accused her of not even missing sex, not a great choice on my behalf. Anyways Raykay remembers the libido issues from the other posts in december there. I mean my gf has been trying a lot and things have been good but I want her to Want to have sex with me and lust after me the same way i do after her. Anyways she asked the doc if the B/C pill could be the culprit and he said possibly. He took a blood test to test for some infection/virus that could be why she's tired all the time and having a low libido, so she's going for blood tests tomorrow. (also testing white blood cell, thyroid and others). Now he said if the test comes back with nothing wrong, she could try switching to some other tri-cyclin with a super low progesterone dose. Again when we switch apparently we have to use condoms for a month. Anyways thats the update. Any comments?
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Sammy bro. I have read many of your posts and see similarities to my situation as well. Honestly bro i have been at wits end at a few occasions and almost broken things off. But your situation is truly worse than mine. That sounded bad and i'm not trying to make you feel bad. Perhaps take a weekend to yourself somewhere and get your head straight. But listen to RayKay, she has a lot of helpful advice to share. Good luck friend.
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RayKay, thank you for your help and others as well.
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Thanks for that link RayKay, my gf insists her family doctor will be adequate enough for this problem whereas I said she should go find a gyno, what are your thoughts?
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Thanks RayKay, yeah, i'm going in a couple hours and she's going today or tomorrow... It is just so frustrating becasue if you remember replying to my other posts a month or so ago, it is just another blunder in our sex life. But yep, we'll be abstaining again, just like two weeks ago when it was another week long break, then her period, now another yeast infection. And before anyone jumps on me for being an insensitve * * * * *, i know she can't help the yeast infections ok, i dont make her feel bad, I myself just get furstrated. RayKay, what are your thoughts on the chances of it being another std?
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Well i'm going to go to the clinic today for an std test as well as a prescription for dyflukin for myself. Any other suggestions?
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Thank you for the input, i too will get tested again. I guess the first time this happened back in august, we both had it, both went on diflucan and both cleared up. I had the redness and slight irritation that time. I have not had that since however. What STD could it mimic? I've done my research and it looks like the one it may be would be chlamdia. Though this would come up 1-3 days after exposure. Does this mean she might be cheating on me? I have no symptoms of any std's ( i know that doesn't mean i dont have one) but if it were the C then i'd have symoptoms more than likely.... Sigh.
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Hi there, My girlfriend has what I think might be BV. She keeps getting reoccurring yeast infections. She takes dyflukin(sp?) and they go away about 5-6 days after she take it. My concern is these yeast infections keep coming back and more frequently. She had one two weeks ago, went away a day before her period and now 5 days after she got her peroid she's got what seems to be another one!!! Now needless to say this sucks for our sex life, but also her discomfort and attitude etc. She said she's going to make a doc appoint asap. My question is, could it be from her tampons? From me getting off inside her all the time? Let's clear up, I dont have a yeast infection so we aren't playing back and forth here. But yeah, she got a yeast infection like evey 6-7 weeks it seemed but now as of recent they are becoming far more frequent. Any thoughts?Bacterial Vaginosis???
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I agree with many of the opinions brought forth. I dont like hearing so many "just leave her" comments because that is in my mind a very last resort. We had a talk today, she was very upset that something was bothering me and I wouldn't talk to her about it. She makes a doctor appointment soon and promises to speak about the b/c pill. I picked her up from work today. Before we had this convrosation i picked her up from work and said ok lets go to my gym, she said she though we were going to her gym (closer to her house).. I asked what difference it made and she said cause she wanted to have sex afterwards cause i have to work tonite. I was a bit surprised because she had told me she was doing a dessert thing with her gf's while i was at work, which i had thought ment she wasn't going to have anytime for anything after the gym. I explained to her that this was a perfect example of why she needs to communicate her feelings and intentions more to me. We had a good talk tonite and had amazing sex to boot. I do love this girl so much, enough I will stick through hard times to figure things out. I do know where to draw a line and put my foot down. I explained to her my feelings of rejection and her lack of initation to try to put it in context outside of purley sex... I think she understands now; i dont think she thought little actions spoke so loudly. Also, today I realise she is having self image issues (which statles me cause she's stupidly hot) but nonetheless, i know this could very well be a big issue. Perhaps she is turned on after the gym because she feels better about herself. Anyways I want to say I am a much happier person today and though things arent fixed; I see a light of improvement and feel a momentus push in the right direction.
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I know, saw that this morning.... Much appreciated DN. Bud I can' tell you though how depressing this is during the holidays too. I mean, i just can't put on a big smile and pretend like i'm happy.