Rlet11

I was with the same guy for over 3 years. When we went to college, we both decided to take a break and try and do our own thing for a little. All along, we still talked everyday, said we loved eachother and did everything pretty much a normal couple would do except we could be with other people. It was rediculous. we did this for an entire year. Finally, i told him that it was all or nothing. All i wanted to do was be with him. He never decided to give me the commitment i wanted. So, not to long after, i started dating someone else. This guy i have had a thing for for a very long time. He is the person who my exboyfriend has hated the most. We have been together now for about 6 months. things are going okay, but its just not the same as my previuos relationship. I never stop thinking about my other boyfriend, and i cannot tell my new boyfriend that i love him. Even sometimes when i feel it, the words just will not come out. I just was so in love with my other boyfriend i feel as though i can never actually love this new guy. I still talk to my old boyfriend. He still wants to be with me. It is horrible because i am holding on to both of them. I dont know what to do. My new boyfriend is very attatched. He wants to be with me every second, and he also moved here and is going to school in my town to be with me. I just dont know what to do, please someone give me some advise.

has anyone suffered from a Sexually Transmitted Disease? please help being tested tomorrow...and i need some support

Well, no contact is to help heal, and get over your Ex. But now he wants to be my friend and he said he needs me in his life. I have remained NC for the past two weeks. But he said he feels like "he lost his best friend" and that he is falling apart. We were together for 3 years. I dont know what to do because i have been doing so much better these last couple weeks, but i still miss him like crazy. I never responded to the message he left me so i dont know if its just the friendship he misses or if he wants to get back together. Should i break NC to talk to him and figure out what is going on?...or should i continue it till i am fully healed?

okay question, you are basically going through the same thing as me, have you remained with NC for two weeks?

thank you for all your replies, i agree but it just isnt that easy for me. If i dont go out, then ill sit at home, wonder what he is doing and be more depressed. I just feel like he is forgetting about me, and i dont want that to happen. If im really NEVER around he isnt going to be able to have that feeling anymore, and part of me is just hoping that he needs time and will eventually come back. Im just not ready to give up 3 years...

I posted before what me and my boyfriend of three years were going through. Last week i continued with NC for 4 days. But then last thursday night we went to a party, ( i went with another guy) and he was there watching me the entire time. When he saw me there with him, he punched a hole in the wall. I went outside to talk to him and he was just saying the same things over again. He was telling my how much he loved me but he just wanted to be friends.. I dont know what to do because i really cant be his friend. I ended up kissing him that night because it just felt so right. Then the next day again, there was no contact. But, we always party with the same people so i saw him that friday night again. I didnt talk to him for most of the night besides "hello" when i first got there. But then, at the end of the night, we were both drunk and he came up to me and we talked casually for a little. But he kept telling me to hug him and i did..because i just love him so much. Then we went and sat down together and he had his arms around me...then he told me to look at the clock, and it was 1:43 in the morning...143 ..i love you. It was really sweet but i tried not to make it seem like i cared. He needed a ride home so i brought him, and he was hugging me in the car. Then he tried to kiss me and i wouldnt let him. He just left my car then, and again i saw him the next night. He barely even talked to me...and then left without saying goodbye. I havent talked to him since but i am going crazy without him. I keep telling myself i will be okay but i really cant move on. I try not to go to the same places as him , but part of me wants to because im afraid that if he doesnt see me or talk to me then he is going to forget about how he felt about me. And i never want that to happen. Please tell me what to do. And i know i need to move on but its just not that easy.

well i havent really been talking to him for the last 2 days, we talked casually over the internet yesterday but nothing today. I cant do this, i broke down last night and wanted to call him so bad. He is the person i talk to when im upset and now he is the person making me like this. I love him so much and i feel like nothing is worth it anymore. He made me happy and know one else ever will. Also, i feel like he is dealing with this just fine, he doesnt even hurt. He must have someone else that is keeping him occupied because how can he not be thinking of me and want to call me. Also, i saw him today which made it much worse. He was walking towards me in between classes, i know he saw but he asked as if he didnt and walked the other way. I almost broke down right there. What happened to me best friend? Where is he and why isnt he there for me anymore...please tell me something to make me feel better...i need something to keep my mind off of him. It doesnt help that both of my roomates have boyfriends that they are with or talk to every second. I want mine back...please help me I am really sorry that i am venting but i really need help, i need to feel happy again

Hey everyone, thanks for responding. I think you are all right. DN you are right, i have had no closure to the ending . I was sopposed to talk about it with him...and he hasnt even put time aside for that. Should i just stay with no contact or should i wait till i talk to him again and then decide from there?

I am new to the site, and have been reading everyones stories. I was surprised to see that there are other people that are going through what i am going through. I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years a couple of days ago. We just started college this year at the same school and he isnt sure if he can commit anymore. Our relationship has been shaky for the last couple months, but i refused to do anything about it because i really didnt want to lose him. I came to the point where i couldnt take it anymore. I wrote him a note that told him everything i was thinking and going through. I told him i couldnt see him anymore because i could tell he wasnt in love with me anymore. He makes excuses to not spend time with me, and he hasnt set aside one night in the last 2 months to just be with me. He responded to my note by telling me that he really loves me, but thinks that we need to break up right now. It was completely a shock to me because i could never picture my life without him. That night, he called me and of course i picked up. We talked about our relationship and i told him i couldnt be friends with him because it would hurt more. Then he said he couldnt be nothing with me and that he needed me in his life. He wanted time because he was confused. He wanted to have his space for a little while to see if he could feel the same way about me with someone else. We ended our talk because his ride was leaving the party at that time. He told me we would talk about it the next day. He never made time to talk about it the next day, then he went out that night, told me he was going to call me and never did. The following day he called me and said happy anniversary ( it would have been 2 years 8 months) i told him it wasnt our anniversary because we didnt go out. The conversation then got awkward and we both decided to get off the phone. He said i love you and i didnt respond. He was again sopposed to call me last night and never did. I am so sick of waiting for him all the time. I find myseld checking my phone, or online to see what he is doing or if he called me ever second. I feel like i cant be without him. I feel weak, and never want to do anything. I dont want to be interested in other guys because i dont think they can ever make me happy like he did. What can i do to help myself, and should i try and not talk to him at all? Im afraid if i cut him off completely he is going to forget about how happy we used to be...what should i do? ...any advise would be helpful...thank you for reading

hey, i just saw your post and i wanted to write back because i am going through the exact same thing. I was with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, and we decided to take a break this summer. It was mostly my doing, i had someone else that i was interested in and wanted to be able to have fun. Now, we both started college..(at the same school) and our relationship has slowly been falling apart. I realized this summer that there was nobody else that could take his place. Now, he decided that he wants his space. It isnt fair for me not to give it to him but its so hard. I love him so much and i cant stop thinking about it. I know that i need to move on and just not talk to him but it is driving me insane. I want to know where he is and what he is doing. The worst part is i know we are still in love, but i know he doesnt feel the way he used to. I went through the same thing but i know now that i need to be with him. We have been at school for a month now, and he hasnt put aside one night just to spend time with me. He forgets to call when he is sopposed to, and he doesnt look at me like he used to. It is definitly the hardest thing to ever go through. He called me yesterday on our anniversary to say happy aniversary ( it would have been 2 years 8 months) but i acted like i didnt care because we dont go out so it "would have been" our anniversary. He knows i am really upset but i am trying to act like im not. I am going to try and not talk to him, and see other people and tell myself i dont need him to be happy. My friends say that if he really loves me then he wont be able to not have me in his life. I think you should try this too, maybe it will help the both of us. Either they are going to realize that nobody will ever care about them like we do, or they will find out that they can feel the same way about someone else as they did with us, and thereforeeee they were never really in love.. I know its hard but im really going to try and i think you should too. Good luck with it..