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I really like this guy, but I'm not sure if he is looking for a relationship or just to hook up. How can I know or find out? what can I say ? or what can I do? what is the difference in how he would treat me if he only wanted one thing or if he is more serious?

ok i do see waht you both mean.....and maybe i will call him this week and try to get together. maybe he thinks im not interested. but what i am really unsure about is does he just want to HOOK UP or is he really interested.....cause him asking me to breakfast meant that at 4 am when he got off work we would go get food.....i told him id rather go for breakfast at breakfast time like sometime before noon. he told me it would be fun to go after work......well i think he just meant to hook up. i liked a different guy that also worked at a var before and all he wanted was to hook up so he would call and ask me if i wanted food (anything that was open all night) and then we'd go eat and then mess around. not real sure what this guy i likes intentions are.....i think he he wants more than just to hook up then he'll call during the week, during the day, not at 4 am after work.

no....he didnt call me twice..........I called HIM. and the reason i said "i dont care, if you want" if because he didnt call the night before so why should i care if he "says" he'll call.............plus his ex gf was at the bar so it was kinda like....uh call if your not busy with her.

ok here is the situation. i work with this bartender that i have been attracted to for a couple weeks. I asked him to hook me up with some drinks one night and he said, 'what do i get out of it?' well i laughed and told him 'nothing, you have a girlfriend' then he siad that its not working out and he needs and older more mature girl. (im older than his gf) well i just laughed and told him 'well let me know if you breakup' then the next night he told me to take his number and that we should hang out..well i took his number and i said let me know when you dont have a gf. well the next weekend after that he told me that she broke up with him cause she doesnt trust him working at a bar. so the next night he wasnt at work so i called him and left a message telling him i was sooo disappointed that he wasnt at work and he should call me if he is bored....well he ended up coming in to the bar and i was off work, drinking with some friends..i got really drunk and he offered to take me home. we made out for hours and the next day i apologized cause i guess i was all over him at work and i barely remember the night...he told me not to worry and that the feeling was mutual. cool i didnt embarrass myself that much i guess. well this guy says we need to hang out during the week sometime, so i called wed. but he called back too late and i didnt feel like hangin out...i called thurs and he was gonna meet up with me and my friends but then my friends backed out of plans so i told him just call me some other time....he said hed call if his friends decided to go out to a bar. well he did call later that night and he told me that he was disappointed that we didnt get together all week, i told him that i tried....then he asked me if id want to get food after work on fri but i told him i would rather go to breakfast for real than at 4 am after work. well we worked fri and i told him at the end of the night that if he wanted to hang out to call me he said ok but he didnt call. then last night we worked together and his ex gf came in to the bar (i dont know why maybe they ar still friends) so i said good bye to him and he was bummed i was leaving but then he looked over where his ex was sitting and she mustve not been looking cause he kissed me on the cheek and he asked if i wanted him to call me later. i told him that he can if he wants i dont care. well he did end up calling me last night and i really didnt think he would cause he didnt on fri and plus his ex gf came around so i wasnt sure if maybe they got back together. i didnt anwer his call last night cause i dont want him to think hes got me wrapped around his finger....now what do i do? he says he was bummed we didnt get together last week so should i just wait and see if he calls and makes plans with me? i am wondering if he just wants to hook up after work or if he actually likes me for more than that......the one night he drove me home he made me promise him that i wouldnt care if he worked at a bar if we dated.....well how can i tell if he likes me? if he likes me he'll call this wek right? but maybe he is thinking the same about me and i am NOT calling him.....i want him to call. what if he is waiting for me to return his call to see if I really like him? how can i find out how this guy feels or what his intentions are? if i did call what could i ask him to do?

i want to say something to this guy im in school with. we met last weekend and he seemed cool with me. Today in school i showed my girlfriend who he is and she said oh he just totally looked at you!! she said that he looked at me and then said something to his friend and then his friend looked at me so they must have said something about me. well im thinking of asking this guy out, he knows im interested but what if what he said to his friend wanst good??? well anyway what can i say to this guy when i see him in school? i will get soooooo nervous....sweaty, red face, shake, when i go to talk to him, what should i do????

thanks guys!!! i really need help with what exactly to say on this "last" time we talk or the next time he calls. i dont want to just NOT answer or ever call him back. i want to sorta explain my dissappearance and HIS LOSS to him before i go, know what i mean?

I was on this site looking through the 'break up' forum to see if there was Q's and A's to the topic of getting over someone. i found something that someone wrote and it really spoke to me. It said ----ok, well i want to get over this guy i like cause i care about him so much, but he doesnt want a relationship with me. I keep sleeping with him because i enjoy that with him sooo much BECAUSE of how MUCH i like and care about him. I actually have never wanted to try a relationship with someone so bad...so i take what i can get and i hook up with him here and there. I know im just gonna stay on this emotional rollercoaster UNLESS i do what the above says-cut off all contact!! Please help with advice, i want to know how and WHAT can i say to this guy that i really care about before i walk out of his life for good? I tried this once before, i told him that i like him so much, and i told him how great of a person i think he is and that i dont want to be mean but i cant talk to him anymore because it hurts me. He told me he'll keep calling me (because we are friends and we sometimes talk on the phone for hours-either that or we have sex) i told him i wouldnt answer the phone, so he just shouldnt call me anymore. he said he is not a good listener. well he called days later and i ACCIDENTLY picked up...swear to it. i answered my other line without looking at the caller id.....so we started talking again. i got weak when i heard his voice and he just is so great of a guy that i thought 'fine ill keep talkin to him cause its hurts so bad to NOT have him in my life-about the same as it hurts to be played by him. well now im at the point were i want to be strong and JUST DO IT. how though? i cant just IGNORE him, that is just NOT ME. what can i say to him to put closure to this? or maybe not closure but i just need to explain why i wont be his little toy anymore.

no, i never nag him about going out or taking me anywhere. i also know that i have stronger feelings than he does, hence i want a relationship and he doesnt. Actually i never call this guy, i did today because his message the other day specifically said to call him back when i was free. Ever since he told me after the first month on sleeping together that he doesnt want a girlfriend, i dont bug, nag or call him. Sometimes when we talk helll say to call him later and ill say no, just call me. Ok, once in a great while i call him, but its never a big deal. i might call to go get lunch or something, not like i call all the time and bug him. anyways, i just dont get him....if he knows that im never asking him to do anything with me and i come over everyonce and awhile to strictly just sleep with him, maybe he'll throw in a movie or somethin, well then why is he the one to make comments about us getting together but yet not REALLY planning to get together with me? its not like he says it to shut me up. its not like he says it to keep me around. i swear its like he does it just to hurt my feelings and upset me or somethin....maybe i should just ASk him, but that would be nagging and liek i said, i just leave him alone. if he calls cause he is horny then cool, i know he'll follow through with that...i think maybe he jsut says it to SOUND like a nice guy, little does he know he would be better off NOT saying it cause if he does this one more time then bye bye booty call from me. why dot you guys think a guy would make these FAKE comments/offers???

After u read this, please read my reply at the end of the page. ive been talking to a guy and weve been bed buddies for a year now. He used to take me out every once and a while but he hasnt since a concert in April....in a way that is fine that we dont go out cause he doesnt want a relationship with me so i figure we are better off leaving it ONLY to the bedroom. Although, i would prefer that we date and have a realtionship,like i said he doesnt so that is fine if he doesnt take me out. But my problem is that he will say things like, 'u should call me early enough sometime and we can lay around and watch movies' Yet if i did call during the day he wouldnt answer and he would call me at 3 am after he gets home from word, defeating the purpose of him telling me to call during the day to watch movies. Or because i told him i have no money while going to school he'll say, 'dont worry i'll take u to dinner anytime' or actually i think he said, 'hey while ur in school ill support u and take u out to eat whenever, i love to go out to eat.' yet he doesnt call when i started school and sure and heck didnt offer to take me to dinner in forever. Most recently, he left me a message saying 'i'm just calling to celebrate ur b-day late, better late than never, so call me back whenever ur free, i know ur in school now but call me, ill be free if u wanted me.' YET i called him today and talked to him for a sec to say hi and tell him about something unrelated to my b-day, dinner or any of that stuff. then i said id let him go and he jsut said bye, he didnt say anything about "celebrating my b-day" or my free time or ANYTHING!!! I dont get why he is all talk and no show. i know we are just bed buddies but he teases me with these offers, thinkin we will hang out and have fun outside the bedroom but then he DOESNT. Please help explain or give advice, anything, thanks.

so ive had my eye on a guy in college for about 2 months. I am very very attracted to him and i always joke with my friends saying "oh i saw my boy in the hall" "i want him he is sooo cute" i said all of this thinking that he is so good looking and proably gets hit on all the time and even thought im told im a very attractive girl....still.....i figured id never talk to him or get the chance to hang out, hook up, go out with, this guy. well the other day some classmates planned to meet at the bar and he was there. His roomate introduced him to me, i shook his hand and then kinda turned around to order my drink cause i was nervous. then he was still there but i didnt know what to say, i just couldnt believe he was right there by me!!! His roomate was buying me and my friends drinks and then he said that they were gonna leave cause they have class in the morning. i said, no u guys cant leave, the party just started!! they (he and the guy i like) agreed to stay a little longer and i talked for bit with the guy i like and he seemed interested, kept laughing and smiling when i was talkin to him. And he didnt like walk away or try to get away or anything....not that i thought he would but if im not interested in someone i find a reason to go to a diff spot in the bar, like ill take off to the bathroom or something. So i guess i didnt get a bad vibe or anything but i wouldnt say i got a real great one either. Now his roomate did mention that the guy i like is really shy and he doesnt drink a lot. well now that i met him i am gonna see him in school. we dont have a class together but i see him around the building. i want to ask him out sooooo bad. i want to get to know him and see what he is like. im not positve that he doesnt have a girlfriend but i dont think he does, cause i told him roomate that i thought his friend was really cute and then i said "dotn tell him!!!" he said he wouldnt. but i did it on purpose cause im sure he'll tell him and then that would be cool. well his roomate didnt say to back off or stay away, actually he was kinda telling me about him, like how hes shy and stuff. SO HOW DO I ASK THIS GUY OUT???!!! Im Really scared to ask him out cause ive never done that before but i guess im mostly scared about what he will think of ME asking HIM. i know some guys like it but he is shy and maybe ill freak him out. im afraid he'll think im desperate or weird or overly confident. that night i met him, a whole bunch of guys were talkin to me and flirting so im already wondering if he thinks im a "you know what" or a big flirt or player or something. Please help me with what to do or say. Ive considered asking him what his plans are for labor day (i have plans already) but just to see what type of stuff he does. then i figure after labor day weekend ill ask him during the week what he is doin for the weekend like if he has to study or what and then if there is an opportunity ill ask him out....i keep thinkin ill say 'wanna go out sometime?' but that is too vague. or "wanna go get coffee sometime?' but that seems boring and i was told he isnt a big drinker so i dont want to say lets meet up at a bar. usually that is what i do, ill say to a guy im going here, u should come meet up with me and my friends but what if he hates the bar scene? i did meet him at a bar but that is cause we were all there to meet eachother as like a school thing. im going on and on but i just need help on what to say!!!! and i dont want him to think im nuts!! if he is shy he might (????) think im crazy for askin him out, like if i were shy i would probably say NO just cause i would be scared. any opinions???