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SurvivingMidnight

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  1. SurvivingMidnight
    The things I have in her house wouldn't be able to mailed, maybe some minor stuff. It took me months to get it all over there and there are many big items. I was living on my own when we met and giveup my apartment. I don't feel asking her friends would really do much, I don't think they want to get involved. I have a friend with a van but I have no idea when she's coming back, so I can't get in. One night about a week after, my sister and my mom went to her house, "I had told them to stay away" and she called the cops on them. The cops were very nice to my mom and had a ot of sympathy for her. She give them a couple of shirts and a pair of pants. I really don't wanna cause a seen but maybe talking to the police might be the way to go. Sad part is she's doing this all in front of her kids. I was a doorman in New York City and left my job back in the spring when we were gonna move out of the area, and buy a house in a different area of the northeast. The deal fell though, we had other area's we looked in but everytime things got close to finishing she would back out. The reason we were looking to move was for her kids, they were kind of outcasts where she lives, at least that's what she said. I'm a very private person and rather laided back, I'm just lost at this point. To think that this was the person I was going to married and have it end like this is just awful. Depressed, sad, yea thats about right.
  2. SurvivingMidnight
    She does have a type of cycle she seems to go through. She speaks about her childhood sweetheart like he's a saint but she has told me they did break up a few times for a few months at a time when she was younger. She went to her prom with what she saids was the ugliest guy in school cause she thought he would be so thankful and polite. She has left her husband for months at a time too mostly in the summer. Besides me these's are the only relationships she's ever had. I didn't really see that pattern until after she left. I started remembering what she said about these guy's. She has questioned me about my past so much its made me feel very uncomfortable at times. I mean I was a musician and we all know that we sleep with everybody lol. Sex drugs and rock and roll, when really its just a job. Your right I should just do the NC thing, looking back I thought I could give her what she wanted, instead I gues I was just another spoke in the wheel. Still there's a part of me that thinks that this just something that will all blow over and everything will be OK. Maybe its just wishful thinking. I don't know why I would want to go back, it doesn't make much sense to me. I feel weak about it, I guess thats why I answer her calls and so on.
  3. SurvivingMidnight
    I've tried to be understanding cause like I said she was in an abusive relationship and I do care about her. I've tried the no contact thing. She'll call and say she wants to hear my voice. I done everything I could to let her know that I am a trustworthy faithful person. When I was younger I had cancer which left me without the ability to have children so I was more then willing to be a stepdad which I understand is a thankless job. I'm not a perfect person but have always tried to see other people's point of view. All of this is out of my reach and if it wasn't happening to me I would have a hard time believing it. Does anyone have insight into the mind of an abused person.
  4. SurvivingMidnight
    The people who live next door to my mom like to have big party's on the weekend. This has been going on for 3 summers now. We have call the cops a million times after 11pm on them and this has lead to alot of friction between us. Lots of name calling. The cops don't do much around her house, all cars are busy and so on. They like to use our shared driveway as a bathroom and I said to my sister I should come over there and clean house sort to speak. Obviously I wasn't serious about it. Like I said my mom had just had brain surgery 2 weeks before and was in really bad shape, and I just learned I have a heart condition, I know I was frustrated. It was a stupid thing to say. I never thought it would let to all this.
  5. SurvivingMidnight
    Yes I agree, maybe she likes the drama or is still thinking whether she wants me in her life or not. I love you but stay away is very confusing to me. All over a stupid comment, the day she told me to go she went with her daughter to the mall and calls me on the phone. Before she left she asked me about what I said and I said I was just frustrated and it didn't mean anything. She hugged me and kissed me like 40 times and told me how much she loved me and all that. Then 10 minutes later she tells me to leave. I ask her why she text's me this stuff and she saids that she still loves me blah blah blah. I fine that hard to believe. I have at least 25,000 dollars worth of stuff there, I can't just walk away. Maybe its a control factor.
  6. SurvivingMidnight
    I have been living with my girlfriend for the past year or so and she recently tossed me out. I was having a conversation with my sister one night and she over heard me saying something rather immature I must admit, but it was only done out of frustration and in no way real. It had nothing to do with her. My mom had brain surgery a week before and we were discussing how to get her away from the area which she lives in which is less than ideal. Two days before this I had a catheterization which luckily found nothing. I was under a lot of stress to say the least. She told me that she didn't trust me anymore and that she wanted nothing to do with me. She has two children who as far as I know cared for me very much, as did I for them. I gave her time to think about the situation and make sure this is what she wanted. She will text me things like "We all miss you" "you are and always will be the love of my life" "I want to die I miss you so much" and so on. Even with these comments she makes nothing has really changed between us. I have everything I ever owned at her house (I was a musician so I have a lot of large stuff) but she tells me if me or my family come to her house she will call the police. Her ex husband was very abusive to her and I always treated her with respect and dignity and have tried to be as understanding as possible. She has left town now while I have nothing really of my own. I'm living at my friend's house wondering what is going on. I feel like a fool, I've rearranged my whole life to be with her and now I can't even get a couple of T shirts. I whole I love you but I'm afraid of you thing is like a nightmare. I feel like I'm paying for someone else sins.
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