DarkCh0c0

You better NOT move in together until this is sorted. Imagine you move in and then she asks you to leave your own home when her daughter drops by?! It's ridiculous! Have you ever spoken to that daughter? How's she like?

He understands. He just doesn't give a *** anyways. He doesn't care about how this affects you and his baby. He only cares about his own needs. You should kick him to the curb. He's useless. Stop people pleasing and empathising with such a man. Kick him to the curb and keep him away from your family.

The amount of red flags here is insane, yet you're focused on whether he likes you or not. This is waaay too quick. You don't know each other yet. You're in the honey moon stage of the relationship and this is not the stage to talk about this. Slow down. Take your time to know him, his friends, family, ect. See how communication is when you hit disagreements, how he treats you when you fall ill, travel, ect. Let the relationship fall into the comfort zone and see if he still keeps up the efforts and how your dynamic as couple works or not. You also need to discuss expectations when it comes to sharing house chores, raising kids, and see if you are compatible in those. There's a lot that you still don't know about him. A lot of this is also things you will only know when you hit bumps in the relationship because talk is cheap. I would have RAN at the fact that he just thinks he owns me and your agenda for the next year together. RUN!! 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ Again. Red flag. He's accelerating the pace and making this not easy for you. He's bringing himself closer to the life of a woman he's been seeing only for 3 months!! He's marking his territory, so to speak. Jesus! Really?! You should thank your lucky stars. What BS. That aside, is there a reason you haven't slept together yet? Subtle controlling sign. Another control sign. It's NOT about jealousy. It's about controlling and possessing you. It's about ensuring you slowly avoid talking to other men so that he has the only hold over you. It's about avoiding talking to other people so that you don't upset him. It's about slowly isolating you from others under the pretence/mask of jealousy. Some people are not big on texting. Point blank. You're an internet star used to doing too much online. If he's putting efforts, he's into you. However, the problem here is that he has too many red flags and he's pushing himself in your life very quickly. Maybe you don't have a back-bone to push back or you're desperate to marry, but women who are looking for a healthy relationship and partner would have ran to the hills in your shoes. Did you even want to be pregnant and married within a year? With a stranger? My advice to you is to walk away from this. This is toxic. While you are spoiled and slightly insecure, he is controlling and possessive. His possessive behaviour will escalate. Don't put up with this. Just walk away and block him everywhere. You can find a healthier partner who will spoil you, but who wouldn't be on the possessive side. This man is so creepy I got the ircks reading your post. You don't want to end up pregnant and married to a covertly abusive man. Please, walk away and save yourself.

You should be furious at how he talks to you!! You have done NOTHING to warrant such horrible treatment from the person who should be your #1 love and support. He belongs to the street. Absolutely get in touch with a lawyer confidentially and serve him the papers when you're about to leave the house. Have family or friends be with you and have him communicate via your lawyer only. Absolutely! I thought the same things.

I'm so sorry to hear this. My god. You can't stay and endure this over and over again. If his ex-wife at those dinners? This is a seriously pos partner. He does not love you nor respect you. You need to consult confidentially a lawyer ASAP. Serve him the papers one day and leave. Do not put up with this anymore. You deserve much better and your can do much better. You are absolutely NOT overemotional nor sensitive. You have every right to be angry, hurt, and fuming!! Please start the process without him and find yourself a new place to live confidentially. Once you are ready, leave. Don't buy into his lies and pleads to stay. The way he treats your speaks wonder on how low he thinks of you. Tell him to go back to his ex wife and leave when you can.

He took them out. So? Do you genuinely think that this is what it takes to be in a satisfying and healthy relationship? Some happy pictures and paid food? Of course. He's an excellent manipulator and he uses his looks and affection to prey on and manipulate women.

Honey, your standards are very low. He does a lot around the house? So? He's supposed to. He lives in it! He doesn't treat you right and he's a lazy man who won't keep it a job because of whatever sensitive stuff he's going through. He has a baby coming and he should have been working hard to save money for when the baby is here. Babies are expensive. They require diapers, food, a crib, milk, ect. Yet he doesn't give a *** and he has let you both down. I get that you wanted to have a second baby, but why keep such a man? Why walk on eggshells and put your kids through this BS? Talking with him about his behaviour is useless. He has shown you who he is during critical moments so don't expect any better. Your mom is obviously here for you so let her help around instead.

He's a lazy user. I really wonder what he's doing at church. He rather take your money and go to church for a week than help you with the baby? He wants to give God gifts rather than his family? God doesn't need gifts, but your guy is the one who wants money. Honey, you are being used by this emotionally manipulative and unavailable man. Look at him saying he's in prison to make you feel guilty and give up into giving him money. The man can't work and provide for you and the baby? He complains about your existence in his life? Then Bye! You don't need him. You would be saving money without him and your mom would actually help you with the baby. I see ZERO benefits of him being around in your life. He is just using you to have a home and money. He doesn't even care about the baby. Don't be fooled by his BS words and fake promises. He's such a big stress and you're walking on eggshells all the times. So, kick him to the curb and don't have him around near the delivery time. You have every right to feel fed up. You can do much better and find actual equal and loving partner. Focus on protecting your home, yourself and baby from pieces of trash like him. You are worthy of a man who pays the bills and steps up in house chores and his love to you as you deliver his baby in this world. The current guy belongs to the street. Don't discuss the break up with him because there's nothing to discuss and he'll try to use any manipulation card to guilt you. Just tell him this isn't working and have him pack his stuff and move out next day if it's your place. If you rather move out, it's even better. Give him money to go to church and confidentiality move out to your mom's place or to a new apartment while he's away. Cease all comms with him and consult a lawyer afterwards regarding custody. You owe him NOTHING. You owe yourself however a peaceful home where you and your baby feel loved and supported consistently. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish you a healthy delivery 💚

But this is amazing news! You saved them from a bad staff addition to the team and you get to work at your job worry free. Tap yourself on the shoulder. You should be relieved. You've been courageous and it's not easy 💚 Kudos!!

Yes you do. The break up was in March, yet 9 months later you still think he is the loveliest guy you ever met. This guy didn't even plan the first date!!! You talk about how he took his time when it comes to having sex, but this is how it should be at the bare minimum in a relationship. It's not some favour he's done to you. And, instead of asking us about your current dating life, you wrote a whole essay about how he treated you. You're clearly still thinking about him and you're not over him. You still carry that baggage. No wonder you don't have better luck with men. Hopefully as you move forward, you take things slow and read back this post and our answers to spot red flags you might miss again. You're only 27. You're in your prime years. Enjoy dating and don't always take it too seriously. Have fun with it. You will find your next relationship when it's meant to be.

Really? This is all you care about? His best mate is not a good point of reference fyi. People who are similar hang out with each other. He threw it out there to sort of defend his mate and not to because he cares about you. He most probably lied about it too. Girl, you've got too many issues going on. I'm sorry. You need some serious therapy if you want to keep dating.

You're so naive. Let me put it out there. This man is some serious pos. He's toxic and full of red flags. She takes him out instead of you. He found your replacement girl!! He found another woman who gives him attention, free sex, free dates, ect. Can you see it now? He's getting an ego boost from another target. So, you actually talked to him? This pos? Oh, and the best thing that came out of his mouth was a complaint about the woman who is generous with him! Girl, he was doing that same talk about you with other people. I hope you realize that. You seem very insistent on the fact he's some innocent God. If you can't acknowledge what a terrible partner he was to you, don't be surprised if you fall back in a similar relationship soon. My advice on getting therapy still stands.

That's a good step forward. But the problem here is that you are still not acknowledging how badly you were treated by your ex, and it seems you would do it all over again with another guy if he just pays the bills. When someone doesn't treat you genuinely equally and makes you feel special, you don't ask him to do it. You don't have to "hint" a guy about his trash behaviour. You need to know that you are worth more than that and any man who doesn't consistently put in efforts is not worth your time. You need to learn to walk away. Keep up the dating efforts and see how things go. Don't slowly play mother, therapist, or nurse to any man. Have some boundaries and take things slow.

On the expense of what? Your time, energy, house, or car? If your father is so great and attentive to your mom, then use the way he treats her and you as a basis to start from. I do think you need therapy. It's expensive, but I bet it's still in total cheaper than that whole house move, petrol and date bills. Comon' lady. You deserve better.

The loveliest guy and only guy who has ever liked me back changed and I don’t know why He was never lovely to start with. I advise you to seek therapy and unpack your self worth and daddy issues. I'm getting the feeling that you have not had an available or healthy father growing up, so you had no healthy example to draw from reg. men. But, I could be wrong. Whatever it is, therapy will be extremely helpful to you. You are worthy and deserve a healthy available partner. Take care 💚

Damn Girl. What is up with the low standards? Red flag #1. Unemployed and unable to support himself. Broke. #2. All talk. Talk is sooo cheap. How can he start a factory when he's a foreigner without money? And an actor too? How? #3 Whenever a guy tells you he's a "nice guy", run!!! It's a red flag. A man who is nice will show it through his actions and not by filler words. He will not need to sell it to you. #4 Seriously?! What about Google maps? Trip Advisor? Girl you set the bar way too low. YOU basically took HIM out on a date. #5 Again? You are planning all this? Picking him up, driving him around like a chauffeur and making sure he's well fed like his mother? #6 Yup. Your bar is low low low. Yet, you stuck around instead of walking away. #7 What a trash act. #8 He took you for granted and YOU gave him yourself, your time, your money... Everything! Without him having to lift a finger for you in exchange. Nonetheless, you stayed and showed him that you are OK being treated like this. #100 I'll stop here. There are a lot more red flags concerning his manipulation. This man is a POS and a terrible user. He completely took advantage of you, your car, your money, ect. And YOU let him do that. He used his looks and affection to his advantage to deceive you. When you stay with a man after seeing the trash way he treats you, you show him that you will put up with it. See, your bar was way too low. He's attractive. So? He's affectionate. So? His actions were terrible! However, this is an opportunity for you to open your eyes on your standards and start believing in your own worth. Don't depend on any man like that. You got you and any man who doesn't add to your peace and happiness goes back to the pond. Guy doesn't plan for a date asap? Bye. Walk away. Guy doesn't put in efforts? Bye. Walk away. Guy switches behaviour and becomes unavailable? Bye. Learn to walk away. Block and delete. As for dating new ones, be more selective and give it time. Don't settle for any unacceptable behaviour. Write down your list of must haves and deal breakers and learn to stick to it. Learn to love and value yourself and your time. Only give your time to the man who earns it. Slowly, but surely, you will get closer to the right healthy partner 💚

I'm happy to hear that. This should be the minimum standard for you to have in regards to how a man treats you. I think you can take the best parts of this relationship and learn what you see fit from it. 3 months are not too long, so you've got a lot of time to find a gem of a man who will cherish you, treat you right and not let you go!

Where I am, I actively ask for it as part of the STD tests. It's an STD after all, and sadly a life affecting one, so I always include it.

I'm aware. I meant from the outbreak if he's having one.

You both didn't get tested before sleeping together? How old are both of you? You were running wild and having sex with different partners without getting tested? That's irresponsible sex. You need to get tested between partners. I hope you have contacted all your previous partners and informed them of your STD. They need to know. Or, you can ask the clinic to call them for you if they have that service. As for your ex, well she's right to be mad. Tough lesson for her to ask a man to disclose his STI results before sleeping with him. I totally understand her anger. I suggest you let her go for now. It's probably her deal-breaker. She might or not come around. Focus on healing yourself and getting proper treatment. I'm sorry it's like this. I wish you a speedy recovery.

So he wasn't that into you. Yet, you kept giving him yourself, your time, your attention, and commitment. Next time, stick with a man who's on the same page as you in terms of relationship status. Don't stick around in a situationship hoping it'll become something it's not. A man who's truly into you would not risk losing you. I think you're better off without him, even if it's hard for you to see it now. Hopefully, the next guy you'll date will want the same things as you. Don't settle for any less than that.

So, from what I understand, he had a trauma surface just before you were exclusive? If yes, then he wasn't ready to date. Point blank. Why did you feel the need to say that to him? You shouldn't need to say that to anyone. Not directly at least. You should have trusted your own assessment of the situation instead and walked away. I think your alarm was correct, but you chose to blurt out the above as opposed to walking away. But, I get it. You gave him the benefit of the doubt. Also, I might be wrong, but I think he trauma-dumped on you. I think it was too early for him to do that. When you're dating, you're going in with your best foot forward. If his best foot forward includes trauma dumping on you, then he wasn't ready to date. And as you see, he came back to that conclusion. However, let me clarify one thing. I don't think there's anything "wrong" with you. When we date, we have the opportunity to learn about ourselves in the process. It's a try and learn kind of thing. None of us here is perfect at dating, and if we do it well, it's because we've had our share of mistakes too. It's okay to make mistakes. Give yourself some grace. At least it was just 3 months, so you have not wasted too much time. Next time, check the red flags and don't stay to find out how red are the red flags. Guy won't commit? Bye. Guy trauma dumps with puppy eyes from the first dates? Bye. Guy is flaky? Bye. Know your worth and you'll get there. Don't accept to be treated by someone any less than the way you treat them. Stand up to yourself and your standards. I hope you've got some ice-cream to sooth the emotions 💚

How long did you two date before he opened up about his trauma? What was the dating like? I don't think you were wrong for giving him the benefit of the doubt and seeing the good in him. But, I need more context from the above. It seems he opened up too quickly, which can be a red flag. I'm sorry about the break up. Time will heal. Hang in there 💚

OP a healthy man does not come with red flags. You might have been swept off your feet by him, but believe him when he tells you he's still involved with her. You can do better. Don't stay and put up with such nonsense. There's no need to bend yourself like a pretzel for someone who doesn't give a **** anyways. Walk away with your self-respect held high.

Yes, but by staying with him you show him that you will put up with it. Staying close to an ex, even if online, is a major red flag in a potential partner. You need to do the right thing and walk away from his emotional mess (and cheating). He's not "the one". I assure you.