sweetlady

Thank you all. I spoke to my bro in law wife. I had to say something to someone. My mum knew about it then she said once it's all in the past and threatened to stop talking to her too. But she was here still going on about that when they were small child. Like are you not getting don't talk about him at all.

I was raped by my own family member and this person daughter was even slating them on social media and really attacking the whole family basically. So I am on edge. I am no sure if she knows what he did to me but even told my cousin don't say answer her she might expose more stuff about our family. I don't really see this part of my family and that person is out of my life but now and again my mum will talk about that person knowing what they did to me. I do get annoyed because somethings are unforgivable and this for me is one of them. It's bothered me because if she posted more on our family and why her father was in jail and even it may come out about me. I don't want to block her but I might I follow her. It's just she using her hard life with her parents to try get what she wants claiming family not helped her. I just hope what happened with her father and me is not said on social media as don't think I could cope if she tagged me I wouldn't be able to face people again. We don't speak but like that most of my family a lot of my list of friends but don't see none of them so hopefully she won't. She slightly unhinged with her lies.

At moment we seem to be okay but can't really think of us as it an exciting time for us all his daughter coming so looking forward to meeting her. Everything just good then bad and haven't said anything to him yet and it not the right time. But thanks for the advice no even upset anymore but I am happy with or without him. So from now what choice he makes with stick on him not me so waiting for his decisions so it makes him look bad. If I make a decision now it make me look bad so just choosing wisely how to play my games and keeping them close to my chest. We been okay just leaving it as that. I haven't got anything bad against although I go through times when I resent feel angry at him but tbh I put myself in this. There's too much just going with the flow looking after my baby and eldest and he here a just leaving him be. Won't have the your insecure because I caught him out rubbish more that doesn't hold no more..I won't stop whatever he wants to do let him. The only thing I am doing is setting up my social circle and hanging out more with family and friends. I will continue to do this until we come to a decision about us. But sometimes we close and we are okay now obviously because he hurt me it a bit difficult but he going today to see spend time with his daughter and can't wait for him to go.

He just want to be free and not be married to just me forever. I don't think he feels he lived enough. He good with children but he can't take that full responsibility. Especially now we had a baby he has no patience. I know if he gets work he be good in that way financially. There's a lot here and yes maybe I will see how things go when his daughter comes. We seem to be okay but I am tired extremely fed up at times. I put him on a pedal stall like he was amazing now I look down on him like he a teenager not on my wave length has no idea on so many different things the constant debates. I still going in this situation don't know how buy I guess opening up to people felt better. Thanks for advice

So I been with my partner since 2018 he told he was here and overstayed.. we currently waiting on his visa still. I did go into this a bit blind didn't fully understand but when I did stuck by him. He very close to this old lady who he refers to her as an Aunty..He told her about me and personal stuff and she told him if I got a child and he has it doesn't matter if baby come or doesn't. As time went on I had further confusion when he confessed he wanted more children. This causes me to be very insecure and yes I caught him several times chatting to women online. Confronted him so many times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it as he just playing around he doesn't really go anywhere he home. So yes eventually I asked myself do I want more children and I did delay it. Because I was working and probably stalled seeing a doctor to get fertility up until last year. Where in May I finally fell pregnant with my baby boy whom is 5months.. Despite everything with him the best thing to come out of my relationship with this man and I should say younger man was my baby boy. Some of you may already now my previous posts but this currently how I feel now. After telling my mother, couple of friends, my partner sis in law feel a lot better. I was carrying this heavy load on my shoulders and I am sure my own father knows something going on not ready to tell him yet. I have concluded that I am getting to the end and still try my best to carry on with him. His daughter is due here next week where family will look after. I will meet his daughter. Things haven't been good and hurtful things have been said but putting it aside for his daughter and my baby, eldest son. My partner sis in law keeps saying to get family involved but I said no. But at the point if thins don't improve by end of the year I will end it all. I have tried and tried and he will never change. I said he is younger than me because I feel he not ready to settle down fully yet even marriage. He just still wants to live life like a single man. Things isn't bad at home but we are like friends. I most definitely feel like I am losing love for him but yes it hurts saying that. Just letting him carry on doing whatever as I feel like let him keep pushing me and pushing me. I have gone through some dark times. It's definitely coming to an end even hinted before to my sis in law I had enough and I don't if it will be her and his brother he will land at or his other brother had enough. Even said to maybe he needs to stay with you for awhile but she like no you come over here to stay. Even more oddly as I am finally drawing away he being all nice at times so get confused but yesterday I got annoyed had time outside on my own.. I keep myself sane by going out daily just looking after my eldest who just left school and my baby. The only last thing now is for me to tell him to go but he won't but this my own made sure he wasn't on the tenancy and have no plans to either. Just like he threw out there he won't marry me legally in registry office. Well he calls it court wedding but if I let the home office known he be facing court and sent back to his country.. so this the hurtful things said between us. A lot different things have happened where I had the your insecure but realized no I am just catching you out now. And you don't like it. I thought I would update you all. Probably what you all will say I know already but feel a bit stuck just trying false his hand to make the move first. I feel good right now and counting down the days until he goes to meet his daughter at the airport to go to his brothers to stay for a couple of days..

This why his family are sorting that part out first by having her live with them. Hopefully it all gets sorted soon and he will be working. Then it still be slow process he will get her back but have a feeling it's not going to go that way. Such a delay with my partner being sorted out.

His daughter has had a lot of changes already. My partner mother was looking after her. She wasn't living with her mother at all. So when my partner mother got ill I know they struggled with who would look after her. This was a year ago now. Think she went to stay with her neighbour as my partner sister and some other family went to try get their mother better. Unfortunately she passed away. Then his sister took over the home his mother stayed in. She became his daughter sole carer and this when his daughter own mother seemed to go see her more. I did say she is going to wonder what going to happen to his daughter next. It all happened quite quickly my partner heard from his niece who actually came here working what their family was planning. They decided maybe his daughter best over here. Then it's like next month she coming. I know my partner happy she coming to stay here. But he will need to step obviously I said what I had to say. Plus his brothers wife does want us to talk. As she be come her mother now basically and obviously I kind of will be too. But she a teenager and I did say to my partner has anyone asked her what she wanted like to stay to there or come here. I said his ex could stop them bringing her here too. It was like she won't know but someone in his family wanted her to know so not sure she knows what's going on. My partner wasn't happy anyway and even his sis in law and I spoke about this. She won't be living with us there literally no space and we need a bigger place because of our new baby but it won't happen so fast. That will take tim. But I just said he needs to be there when she comes. He too laid back like his brother and sister in law with deal with it. He said to me he know and he did share his concerns with me too. I am concentrating on my two but eventually she will be with us once my partner is sorted out too. This has been planned by his family for some time now since his mother passed away. Everything will be step by step she will need to settle in etc. Funny thing is when his mother passed away his daughter mother was trying to contact me and I was told to block her. This why me and his sister in law a bit baffled. She wants his ex to know her daughter will be well looked after here. It's a lot and to be honest at the moment I don't need to do that hard bit but will need to help as I am basically Stepmum. Well she calls me that and his daughter would always ask how my son is and say how's my stepbrother and little baby brother doing. I just said to my partner just advised him basically not trying to put pressure on him more just to make him understand things but already he does. Just gave my opinion. Maybe I jumped ahead but I know I am correct to do so. His brother and sister in law are taking his daughter in like their own. He like he doesn't want to keep going there he worried too. The whole point of her being here is to be near her dad. So we all got to work together. Thanks for the advice.

No he happy she will be there. Just for me he will need to step up more even though his family doesn't mind looking after her. It's been years since he probably was fully responsible for her.

So my partner daughter is coming to live here with my brother in law for now. I am very nervous although very happy and excited to be meeting her for the first time. Am I right in what I am saying to my OH? So his daughter a teenager now and he been out of his country a very long time hasn't seen her since she was a small child. I told him he should be at the airport with his brother when she arrives or if not go his brother's that day or next to see. I have said to him I won't go it should be him first although I do really want to meet her but think I need to wait. Then after she will meet me, my son and her baby brother. I don't know if I am over thinking this because of the way my stepmother treated me. But I am telling him he needs to take her out first spend one to one time. Although I am eager to meet her myself feel it should be my partner who spends time with her first. I have even said to my partner even though she living at your brother's she still your daughter. He needs to be more involved with her. I know they don't mind but said they will need our help. Currently we can't have her living with us. But I said we need to have her weekends and maybe holidays. I said because his brother and sister in law has girls of their own and they will need their time with their girls. Trying to make him see now he got to take the responsibility of his family hands. He said I get you as eventually we do want her living with us. I don't know if I said the right thing but told my brother in law wife we need to talk. His sister in law said yes we do. There's a lot going on with my partner and I so trying to put our troubles aside. We do seem to be okay at the moment. My son is leaving school this year so I was trying to get my partner and I to have a talk to him yesterday. As my partner expressed his concerns early that day saying he worried if my son will be jealous. But then he said that everything be they same he shouldn't feel this way can't remember how he said it but something like that I tried to bring it up yesterday but my partner didn't say nothing I just asked how he felt about her coming to stay here he said he fine with it I do worry about my son because he has Adhd and he had a lot happen this year. Everything been happening fast like before he did his exams his father got in touch and he spoke to his family. I had his baby brother in February and then he told me an ex gf dating his friend and he leaving school and going college. So want to make sure he okay. I don't want arguments with my partner any advice Probably overthinking this I know everything will be okay.

So Sunday is cancelled now and it's been rescheduled. It's a right nightmare as it's clear my friend not happy with this lady..Had her moaning on phone I told her what issues she takes it up with the lady. My friend then said she was going to come up Sunday but the trains not working. Then said about this restaurant but won't go. I told her that I wasn't going there it's not family friendly. Kind of relieved it's been cancelled now.. Before we meet they need to sort things out as I haven't confirmed if I can do the suggested date yet.

I have been going out a lot each day but today stayed in not feel well at all. But tommorow will go out. I still haven't heard anything from this friend if she contacted this lady So will make plans with this lady to come visit me on her own.

I honestly don't know why my friend avoiding her friend. But whatever happens I go with it got no issues with this lady. If my friend comes or she doesn't I need to leave her at the moment. If she even said I really can't come with her don't think or her friend would be upset. She just come on her own. I am trying to get a bit of circle of friends having a baby can be isolating. I have a lot stuff going on o be nice to this lady. I am not contacting my friend to see if she coming up Sunday with her. I let it play out now. Had enough of people having drama with people not saying what is the issue.

This friend of mine just seems to be like avoiding her friend. I met this lady through her and she wanted our friend to bring her up to see me. It's cool of they unavailable but now this friend of mine is seeming like she wants things her way especially when I said to her no to this restaurant. The other lady said she not bothered where we go. That's why I took charge on the restaurant because it's not about our friend it's catching up with this lady who seems nice to me. She had lost her mum and my friend said she didn't tell me..The thing is I found out from social media and sent my condolence to the lady. It's really stupid because she was the one whom suggested this day aswell and it's like she avoiding her. I had met this friend through my friend from childhood too. So don't want the same thing that happened there happening again. I don't want people thinking I steal peoples friend especially if this lady comes to see me alone it be nice if my friend comes too. It was a day out with both of them together. Maybe let me explain this friend organised my bridal shower before lockdown hit us. This lady with my family and friends lost money they put into it. I know this lady was helping our friend sort that out soon not sure it's about that.. Basically the venue cancelled and she organised a last minute dinner which a lot of people couldn't come and only this lady came to it. Not sure if it's that she doesn't want the lady to ask if she spoken to the people about getting the money back..I don't know but it's really ridiculous. All I know it's down to my friend to contact this lady and tell her if she can come with her or not. Before we had to cancel because of something think I was ill or had something going on. My friend said tell her you can't do like she was trying to get out of it. So I told this lady yes I can do it but my friend also got family stuff going on. So it wasn't just put on me. I don't need this kind of thing right now got a lot on myself just wanted to have catch up with the lady too.

So my friend is friends with some lady whom I have met a few times. She suggested they both come up for the day and see me. My friend at the moment seems distant with this friend of hers. We are trying go arrange to meet up on Sunday. My friend hasn't got back to her friend about coming up to see me. This friend of her says she messaged her and called and nothing. I said to my friend she avoiding this friend of hers. She was like she is just too nosey. There was stuff she didn't want her to know. My friend said did her friend say to some with her and I said yes. Meaning it was for both to come up together..but what lady doesn't know my friend been up here already on her own. I just don't want to say anything to my friends friend. It would be nice to see this lady whom is my much older than us. She seems a nice person. She also said if our friend doesn't get back to her she will come and see me on her own. But this lady included her it was meant to be both coming up together. I get my friend got a lot on with her teenager too. But she really avoiding her friend. Plus this lady lost get mum and think she maybe lonely a bit. So I wanted to see how she doing. Anyway my friend was moaning when I said her friend will eat a salad if we go out she on a diet. Now she tried getting me to go to some restaurant bar but said no to it as it's not child friendly plus it didn't seem to have salads. So said I am not going there we can go another time. For me it's not about us we see each other all the time. It's about her friend to see how she doing and show her around etc. What should I do?

He has applied now but he waiting to hear back. I was working part time but on maternity leave. We are basically on benefits but I would like to return to work unless he gets a job although I don't want to be totally dependent on him already looked at childcare and different other jobs I could do. May try to work around him. He will work what I haven't said I met him he was working when he wasn't meant to. How I found out was he told me one evening when I first started seeing him he been caught at work they seized his money in money in bank. Yes should of run for the hills in fact I did and went on a date with someone else. He doesn't know this though. But then got back with him. He not a guy to be lazy and I can tell you feels so frustrated to not be working and less of a man. He also depressed at times. He did do old jobs helping people with events getting money that way last year. I can't complain he did help out. I wouldn't normally be a woman who all about money but hope he does it this year too. It's most definitely like having a second teenager in here. He gets so bored and feel like constantly having to entertain him but he goes out. I know once he works things could improve between us but just at this stage so not sure what to do. Even a friend and I spoke about this. So he doesn't know I am literally just go with the flow each day. I have told him if he not happy the door is there but he stuck. I rambled on here. But thanks for all your advice.