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Sorry for the delayed replies everybody. I wanted to say how much your responses mean to me. You wise words have given me more strength and made me realise i might not be silly for feeling this way. Alone on New Years Eve - had a great day cleaning out the house, forming the beginings of a mental plan for my future, and ... enjoyed not being moaned at. Thanks you sincerely

Thank you so much for this. It has helped me feel so much stronger. I intend to work on myself now and to plan my exit strategically if i can. I think i have a lot of hard work ahead. Your thoughtful comments mean so very much

Thanks. No marriage, no respect; It is clear

Thanks. I am heartened to hear you say greiving because that is how it feels. And it does suck, utterly. Thanks for cheering.

Thank you for your compassion. Indeed, the last thing i want is another trashy relationship. I need to figure out the logistics (work, pets, etc), which could well prove extremely tricky. But i have decided not to devote another year to this, as sad as it truely makes me. I do not wish to abandon this marriage in haste, but i am beginning to realise that i am indeed already going solo. He tells me i am not good enough for him, which i am in danger of believing if i do not do something about it. I shall spend the NY with myself! I am so sad, but your supportive words have confirmed what i know deep down to be true.

Thank you. Especially, the the acting confidentially first advice. This is sound advice i think. Yes, also i do need to find some backbone - needed somebody to tell me that! Happy NY to you.

My husband has left to spend Christmas with his mothers and sisters, and their husbands, for New Year and will be away for six days (he spend a week there last month ans will spend a week there next month too) (seven hour drive away). I cannot go because we have dogs and cats to care for here - and his mother does not like me (prefers his ex wife) so i have not been there for three and a half years. He has spent every NY there without me since we married (four years) and he knows it will break my heart again. I was crying when he left. Previously, i have just had to stay at home for NY because i do not know anybody here (we live in france - he is French, i am not), but when i hinted this year that i might go to a party, he did not care. He has a terrible temper and recently told me (not for the first time) that he wishes he had stayed with his last wife (i am his third wife). I recently told my husband that if he couldn't control his temper or spend more time with me (he spends a week away each month on his hobby), then we should just agree to live separate lives and see other people if we wanted to. He said no. I am heart broken. Am i stupid, after all it is just one day; its abstract, isn't it. But i thought when we got together that i would always spend New Years with him. I am too old to be caring about this stuff really and i know it is irrational, but i keep bursting into tears when i am in the middle of something else. Am i being overemotional and stupid or is our marriage over. to be honest, i am not sure how much i love him now. Sometimes i look at him and think how unattractive and stupid he is - sooo glad this is anonymous! But i am still so heartbroken because i was committed to the marriage and i am not interested in anybody else (despite a recent offer). I would love for him to change his mind and come back and spend NY with me. (pathetic) - he will not, not even if i ask him to. Am i being silly? How do i stop feeling so hurt?