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Days and Confused

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  1. This is absolutley not ok, big red flag! You are correct, this is very one sided. I think you know what you need to do, you just need confrimation and it's obvious from other reponses
  2. Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but the same thing will happen if you decide to change pastures. It's normal, for the fireworks to fade when you settle into a comfortable relationship. It's up to both of you to keep the sparks alive! and it sounds like she is doing her part by dresssing up. You love her, so fall in love with her again and do all those special things you use to do at the begining of the relationship. If you're good looking, you're gping to get attention from others, but theres a big diference between flirting and wanting to have a realationship with you... You have a relationship now, work on it.
  3. Once again, my girlfrind is the one insisting I spend the night, I don't invite myself. and I have no problem keeping myself busy while she is away. I think you might be missing the bigger issue, but that's ok. I don't see this relationship contiuning further at this point unfortunately.
  4. If there's one thing I learned in life, "Don't rush it!" Things will work out when they are supposed to. Anytime I have forced change, without due diligence, I have regretted it most of the time. Definitely get legal advice before leaving your home, very important!!
  5. UPDATE (one week later) Thank you again for responding to my original post. If you're interested in an update, here you go… Sorry it's so long, it's been a week… My Girlfriend's silent treatment I mentioned in my original post carried for 3 days while she was away staying at her daughter’s house between Christmas and New Year’s and then for another 2 days when my Girlfriend came back home, through to New Year’s Eve day, minus a few short token text messages from her. Then she suggested I come to her house at 5pm NYE. I tried to explain (again) the damage the silent treatment does to our relationship and that there's an unresolved issue that needs to be talked out if we’re going to be able to have some sort of enjoyable NYE evening together. She would just much rather pretend nothing happened and carry on… I’m not made that way unfortunately. However,we put a band-aid over everything so we could spend an amicable NYE together, while the elephant in the room sat in the corner, waiting to raise cane. This past Thursday evening, Jan 5,my Girlfriend received a text from her daughter asking if she could come look after the grandkids Saturday night and then the elephant in the room let loose like a bull in a china shop! Of course, I'm not invited and not allowed to go, despite her daughter apologizing for the short notice. My girlfriend did ask if I could come, her daughter's reply was that she wasn't ready for me to spend the night there… My girlfriend asked, “Why is it so important for you to be part of my kids' life, they're full grown adults, they don’t need you to come and be their father!” “What the hell?!?!?” I responded in disbelief, “That’s not what this is about at all!” “My family would never invite me to their house and request that you don’t come with me” And “A blended family is a natural progression between two people who love each other and plan on spending the rest of their lives together.” She wasn’t seeing it that way. I reminded her how last summer, we traveled together very far away to see her family, when I met her two Sisters and Mother for the first time (other than on a few facetime chats). I was immediately welcomed into their home. Sleeping together in each of their homes was just automatically assumed, in fact we had sex after responding to my Girlfriend’s advances - NOT MINE! “Yet I have personally met your daughter for the past year and half or so and never been invited to her home, not allowed to come with and can’t spend the night in your house when your daughter is home visiting (I offered to sleep in her home office on an air mattress..) “Why is this ok, with your two Sisters and Mother, but not your daughter?” I asked “Because they are adults!” she said “Your daughter is an adult!!!” I replied. The conversation continued to deteriorate, so I went home to prevent further damage from angry words. The following day, she started up the same angry level from the night before and in a roundabout way, (like a kick to the stomach) was telling me that I am not part of her family, I am her boyfriend, I said that wasn’t for me and declared an impasse, “this will never get better” I concluded. And left. To make matters worse, we planned a trip to Mexico, in the beginning of February, that I have already paid for. Non refundable, non transferable…
  6. I will update next year! Happy New Year to all and thanks for taking the time to respond. Very helpful - truly is!
  7. Everyone here has been extremly helpful. Your entire response echos all of the thoughts I've been suppressing into the back of my mind since the beginning of this relationship. You've brought them out to look at again. It's difficult to let go of what has become normal, yet uncomfortable. Thank you!
  8. I have a heart to heart conversation planned for next week. How that conversation ends wll determine our future together. 🙂
  9. The kitchen stuff isn't really a big deal for me. Just regular relationship stuff. The heart to heart I have next week will determine our future as a couple.
  10. I have, but clearly not long enough. I think I've been hoping things would get better over time, but 2 years later, they haven't, which is why I ended up on this platform. I've been questioning myself, thinking if have been having unrealistic expectaions. Given the feedback I have read from my post, I feel better about myself and that my expectations are not unreasonable. Thank you all for that!
  11. oh yes, she likes the control. I can't cook anything in her kitchen without her stepping in front of me and telling me what I'm doing wrong.. lmao
  12. Thanks Andrina, I have thought the same thing and I have said, "you have a son too!" who lives 10 minutes away from her daughter. "why doesn't the get the same attention?" Don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend dearly! This thread is starting to paint a negative image of her. Everything else in our relationship is amazing. There's definetly some kind of strong hold her daughter has on her that I don't understand or something else bigger going on...
  13. You are absolutley right Wiseman2, even though my girlfriend is the one: - insisting I stay over at her house 90% of the time when I'm about to go home - refuses to stay at my (beautiful) home or makes excuses why she can't visit me there - and gets mad when I do decide ignore her request to stay and just go home I need to stand my ground and not let her influence me so much. Compromising is one of the main ingredients in a succusessful relationship and so far, I've been the one compromising. If she is unable to compromise while we both have our own homes, it will only get worse if we share the same roof..
  14. In two years, I could probably count easily how many conversations I have had with her daughter, mostly beause the "rules" eliminate opprotunity for us to get ton know each other better. However any interactions with her have always been friendly and pleasant 100%. Always a good conversation with her husband when I've seen him and their two daughters seem to enjoy having me around. I have had too many conversations with her son to count in the same time period, we get along great, super nice guy! I agree DarkCh0c0, I have no intention of taking things to the "next level" until the overnight issues get resolved.
  15. Thanks SooSad33, I agree a heart to heart conversation will be first priority in the new year.
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