DarkCh0c0

So he lacks boundaries with his ex wife and lets her walk all over him. She will remain in your life as long as he allows her to. And he has shown you that he wants her to do so. He's NOT over his ex. This is not something YOU can fix. This is a red flag for you to run from. Like, to the hills. Because he still has feelings for her and you are here just to fill the "engagement" void he has. Do you have any idea how inappropriate it is to threaten your partner like that? How disrespectful and inconsiderate it is to do so? How immature and childish! You don't have to put up with this. At all. Dump him and run to the hills. He is NOT a catch and he has shown you with his actions that he is NOT marriage nor partner material. I'm sorry.

I'm very sorry you're going through this. You must feel conflicted/inadequate, which is why you came here. Healthy communication in a relationship is a must have. It's not something you work around or find excuses for. He basically makes you feel like the bad guy whenever you want to talk about something that HE doesn't want to talk about. It's about HIM taking the conversation and blame off himself and putting it on you. It's about removing HIS accountabilities from his own actions and making you doubt your own actions and thought process. "Overthinking" is a term emotionally abusive people use on their victim so that victims stop thinking and daring to have the courage to stand up for themselves. I absolutely agree with others that he's gaslighting you. And because you're in the middle of it, it's hard for you to see clearly. So listen to us who can help more objectively. I recommend you plan a safe break up and go no contact. Please raise your standards for the next relationship and learn to leave at soonest sight of a red flag. Just because he has some other nice qualities about him (like most people), it doesn't mean that emotional abuse should not be a deal breaker. Emotional abuse outweighs ALL good things in a partner and justifies 100% a break up. If you do break up with him, don't discuss it with him cause he'll know what to do/say to make you doubt yourself again and stay with him. Take care💚

And risky and dangerous. He could have murdered YOU at his place. Honey, where's your self worth? There's no need to be so desperate. Plenty of single men are out there and they have not had a prison sentence and they don't have anger issues. Plenty of men would be happy to treat you well, date you on your own pace and have a healthy relationship. Just learn to walk away from the bad apples as soon as you know about the red flag. You got us all worried about you here. Learn to respect yourself. Maybe as exercise, you can lay out your deal-breakers in relationships and a man on a sheet of paper. Once these are written down, stick to them. That'll help you keep your head above your shoulders when dating. Don't let any man, attention, gifts, ect. take you off this list. Also, write down a list of how you expect to treated and make sure you're on track there too.

Please tell me you blocked and deleted this guy everywhere... You can't go lower than this. Please Increase your dating standards and stop going back to the trash. It's time you move on to men who have partner potential.

I apologize. Correct. Yes. She's just not interested in him more than a chat buddy.

Same. It's a red flag to me and a sign of immaturity. I noped out of dating a guy because he came all strong like that from when I first met him.

She's not that into you. She's not even close to being into you. She's hot and cold and thus not partner material. Why you want someone who clearly has no interest in seeing you is beyond me. You deserve better. Now please, anything less than a YES is no. Block and delete her out of your life. Time to move on to better matches.

Same. Creeped me out how things escalated.

But aren't there men who also get jaded by dating? I think this applies to both genders.

And And And *** with: He is a fire truck full of red flags. Be thankful you are no longer with him. Gosh, I was anxious for you just reading your post. Please raise your dating standards and date local men only. I'm sorry you've been through this. Edit: also, always trust your gut. Next time your gut is telling you something is off, excuse yourself out of the situation. You need to look out for yourself 💚

It's a shame that as women we have to rush ourselves to find "the one" in our 30s if we want biological children. Whereas men, they get to be choosy. Biology sucks (sometimes).

Nah. You don't need to regret it. Chemistry is a key element and must have in a relationship. Sometimes you can bring two great people (on paper) together and yet their dynamic is off/ they don't mesh well. And that's normal/okay. Plus, it's always good to listen to your body. It knows best. It's great you broke it off so you don't have to waste more time with him. I would have done the same thing.

Or, it could be they're looking for a serious adult rather than a manchild. Then again, if they put this on their profile, I might raise an eye brow cause it does give away a certain attitude.

Why would women in your age range attack your confidence? How do they do so? I'm intrigued.

I never understood why it's like this. It's ridiculous.

🏆🏆🏆 @pmw06092016 please read this again and again until you feel you can do it. You've checked he's not abusive, but it doesn't mean he's right for you. And please remember when making decisions that you have to consider that he is his best version today. Don't think of "what if" tomorrow X. What you have seen from him so far is what you'll always get. So there's no use of talking your daughter into liking him, asking him to "change" sex drive, ect. Make sure you do the decision with what you have today. You got this 💚

May I ask why did you guys move in too quickly with each other? Other than that, communication. Communicate with her your concerns about her health and watch her reaction. She might or not be dealing with something internally. If she chooses not to get help after a while, then like @Kwothe28 mentioned, she probably stopped putting efforts in the relationship because you let her move in so quickly and she's in some way taking you for granted. At some point, if nothing changes, you'll have a call to make as this is a long term incompatibility. But for now, have that talk and who knows what she'll say. Keep us posted!

Yes, but this is your first healthy relationship where you get to the incompatibility stage and get to make a choice without the stress of abuse. Decide what's a deal-breaker for you and what are incompatibilities that can't mesh for years to come and then make a decision. That's what adults do; make decisions even when they have feelings for someone. That will save you time on the wrong man. Usually between the 6-18 months a lot of people break up because hormones calm down and you can see each other more clearly/realistically. So, it's okay and normal if you choose to let go.

@Kwothe28 understood!

I agree with @Jaunty. It's great that now you know how to spot and leave abusive men. That part of the work is done. However, there are other things that are essential in a relationship as you see and that can make it brake it in there long term. As you're getting to know him more and the hormones have calmed down, you're starting to spot the incompatibilities. It's great you're aware of them knows and can choose what to do aka leave. Nobody has to be perfect here. You just need to find the right person for you.

It didn't. I just wanted to point it out like in: Carry on!

Oh, I meant to correct his usage of "girl". He calls men "men", but women "girls". We are women!

WOMAN. Sorry, I had to.

Have you tried couples counseling?

If you find yourself asking that question, then the answer is no. Because when a relationship is healthy and your partner cares, you don't doubt it. You just know it. Anything else is a no.