gamon

Oh I must have missed that. You oughta consider moving away.

It wasn't the texting.

You should be in therapy for your unresolved sexual feelings about this woman and accept that she is off limits.

Never. Sooner you accept that you're not over her and you do in fact want her to give you another chance, the better off you'll be in the long run.

I thought the same exact thing. That's usually when I make the choice not to engage particular posters because they don't argue the points of the debate and regress to taking cheap shots. At that point they're simply not worth the effort.

You're over complicating things. If she cancels, then tell her you hope she feels better and to reach out to reschedule when she feels better. Then leave her alone, the ball's in her court, you're not intentionally ignoring her or playing games, it's up to her what happens next, if anything. Meanwhile go live your life.

Seems pretty clear, she wants to be left alone. That means no contact. Start forgetting about her a week from next Tuesday.

You wrote that the owner of a restaurant can get away with whatever they want, and the world isn't fair and you can't get fired from a place you already own lol (as if sexual harassment is funny) and " people in California get away with sexual harassment charges routinely". My posts and relevant, reliable sources clearly prove your statement to be wrong. End of story.

Ah, I see the problem. It's not that you were unclear- it's that you're posting from the perspective of "it's all I know", which is frankly, just wrong. I will gently suggest you do some research prior to making blanket generalized statements that have no teeth to them. Go ahead and do a search specifically on sexual harassment lawsuits in California and you'll get pages and pages. Here's a few: https://www.restaurantdive.com/news/del-taco-to-pay-125m-to-settle-sexual-harassment-lawsuit/591637/ https://calbizjournal.com/special-report-california-restaurants-worst-offenders-in-sexual-harassment-charges/ https://drewlewis.law/workplace-sexual-harassment-law/ https://pechmanlaw.com/california-restaurant-to-pay-175-000-to-settle-sexual-harassment-lawsuit/

Oh, I'm well aware the owner of a business can't be fired (for all practical purposes). What I didn't know is that owners of certain businesses such as restaurants are immune from sexual harassment charges. Edited to add: after doing a quick internet search I found tons of examples where restaurant owners were charged and found guilty of sexual harassment of their workers and or the restaurant was forced to close as a result of sexual harassment allegations (hence the employer effectively firing themselves). So you just might want to recheck your sources. https://patch.com/new-york/new-york-city/nyc-restaurant-must-serve-500k-sexual-harassment-victims-ag https://www.hg.org/legal-articles/famed-new-york-city-restaurant-closes-after-sexual-harassment-allegations-54732 https://www.ctpost.com/news/article/CT-restaurateur-charged-with-bribery-hindering-15958419.php https://www.wxow.com/news/crime/restaurant-owner-sentenced-for-sexual-assault/article_a8d283cf-0c66-524d-9a43-0a71da9d23e0.html https://www.kitsapsun.com/story/news/2022/03/29/pizza-shop-owner-convicted-sexual-assault-three-servers-but-maintained-innocence/7199338001/

I never knew that in restaurants, male employers can get away with sexually harassing their female employees. I learned something new today!

True. Not withstanding the minor detail that this guy (if he even exists) is supposedly in a committed relationship. So nothing to see here, Op can move along knowing she's gotta curtail her unreasonable responses to perfectly reasonable situations.

Ok, I'll play. It's typical for an employer to discuss with a potential employee how people sleep and what they dream about, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

I'd say if your friend is concerned, your friend should post here, not you.

The fact that you'd have to ask a bunch of strangers if such behavior is concerning. Him being inappropriate is the least of your problems. Why do threads like this appear more frequently during school vacations?

Clearly hes gone. There is nothing to save here except your pride. No further contact is necessary.

You don't know that he's handsome and you don't know that he's in med school. You only know that he told you that. Look I'm not trying to burst your bubble but there's a lot of deception out there, it comes from very dysfunctional and dishonest people, a disproportionate amount of whom seem to find their way to online dating sites where they can pretend to be whatever they want. You need to seriously chill out and be more cautious. Or you will get burned.

We used to be friends with a couple who had a daughter who was about 12 years old. She used to cuddle inanimate objects. Once they came over we were sitting around the firepit and the girl feel asleep clutching a large piece of split firewood. I thought that was weird but you've got some bigger issues that need to be addressed by a competent and licenced professional. Dating others will not necessarily do anything to fix this.

Step one is to find someone of your preferred gender and decide if you will be the pitcher or the receiver. Once step one is complete we can take it from there.

Moving in with him given the close connection to his ex and the deception about it, would be one of the worst decisions you will ever make. Sure you can talk to him but it won't change anything. Even if he's straightforward with you- which of course he isn't.

You really need to work on that. Otherwise you'll always be afraid to make the move. A better question to ask is "why am I so worried about being rejected or looking stupid?" Learn not to care so much. If she says no, you move on. It really is that simple.

That's a bit of a stretch. I visit my dad occasionally in his senior living home. I'm 60, He's 93, he's got a woman friend who is about 87. When I visited him last time, she was there, and as we said hello she suddenly came really close to me and kissed me right on the lips. I was completely grossed out but would you call that "assault"? If not, then what's the difference?

Contacting her is clearly nonproductive and stressful for both of you. You're just going to have to accept that there are no answers forthcoming and life your live accordingly. It blows but there's nothing you can do about it.

Whether or not a person can accurately decide in 1 or 2 dates that the other person isn't for them and can make an informed, correct decision isn't the point. The point is that some people DO decide within 1 or 2 dates that the other person isn't for them. It's possible that if those same two people were marooned on a desert island for 10 years they'd fall madly in love with each other-thus proving their first decision to be wrong. But it's IRRELEVANT because the person HAS made their choice within 1 or 2 dates, it's game over, regardless of what "could have been" had they given it more time. Most people are on dating sites to meet a relationship partner - not to make friends. She said "I hope we can remain friends" but I'm fairly certain that she was just trying to dull the pain of rejection. Unless she's the type to accumulate lots of platonic guy friends and while that's possible I doubt she'd want some guy she dated hanging around taking up her time while she goes around dating and ultimately finding her next relationship partner. And I doubt you'd want to stick around while she did (hoping the entire time she'd realize she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life by telling you she's not interested in you as a partner). I've been on dozens of first dates over 40 years. Some I knew immediately would never be for me, I wouldn't be attracted to her nor want to be with her if we were the last two people on the planet. There were a few who I was so into (and she felt the same), that we became exclusive after only the second date. A few lasted several months, a others went several years, and my most recent lasted 10 years (we lived together for 7). Here I am, 5 months in to a new one, we were exclusive after spending a first weekend together. Then there those who I just "wasn't sure" about. They were sweet, attractive, good conversation, but I wasn't really feeling it. Whatever "it" actually is. They were into me, but I simply chose not to take it any further after a few dates. Could those have really become something special if I had stayed with it longer? Given my feelings more time to develop? Who knows? But again, I made the decision not to pursue those women and I wasn't looking to make opposite sex friends- it simply doesn't work for me, especially since I was actively dating. Some people probably make friends this way but that's not really what you're looking for anyway.

I think what you're asking is if she gave you more of a chance would she eventually develop an attraction. The answer is, it's irrelevant because she's not interested. End of story.